Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Kids of dates

MJandDLMJandDL
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm sure that this has been asked in some form, but I did a search and couldn't find anything. We're desperately trying to get invites finished up so I'm having fiance call/text friends getting updates on who is dating who. So a friend has a girlfriend that we're now adding on, and girlfriend apparently also has a child. We are having kids at the wedding (which I'm starting to regret) so do we have to add the child of the date of the friend of fiance? It gets so complicated having to find out..well what last name does the child have, how old, will she need a highchair...blah blah blah. So many details!
"When life hands you lemons, make a beef stew." Andy Milinokis
Report Reply to Post

Re: Kids of dates

  • kikirst33kikirst33 member
    100 Comments
    I limited my kids at our wedding to ONLY children of family and cousins (which is only about 10 kids).  Are you inviting all children or just children of family?

    It is accetptable to invite only specific children if they are limited by relationship but if other guests who are not family are bringing your kids then you should invite the new gfs.  Why not ask if this friends gf would want her child there? Many times parents enjoy weddings as a night away from the child.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Have you stuck with just inviting children that you are related to (just family members) or did you allow everyone to bring their kids?

    If it is the first, then if they say anything to you about her child you can simply say that you are just keeping it to family.  If it is the other, you may have a problem telling her no.

    But, IMO, I don't think you have to extend an invite to your friends girlfriends child.

    Report Reply
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Inviting in circles is the best way to avoid drama, though circles aren't necessarily required to keep etiquette (I don't think). I don't think you're requird to invite any child.
    So if you're inviting friends' children it would be really nice to exend the invitation... but being as this isn't your friend's child... it's your friend's girlfriend's child I don't even think it's necessarily in the same circle.

    So my vote is if you can accomodate that's great. If they RSVP back with the child too, find out the logistics then.

    If you don't want the child... honestly if I was dating someone and was about to go to a wedding of someone I'd never met, I wouldn't think twice if my child wasn't invited. I'd assume most reasonable people would understand.
    Report Reply
  • Miss_2010Miss_2010
    100 Comments
    Limit children to those of your family members only.  That is what we did, with only the odd exception (ie: we know the friends' child REALLY well or there is a travel/babysitting issue that prevents the couple from going). 

    In that situation, your friend's girlfriend's kid, I wouldn't in that situation.
    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker image
    My BFP Chart     || Ovulation Calendar image #1 BFP May 24/2012 - EDD Jan 21/2013 - M/C May 31/2012 #2 BFP Feb 5/2013 - EDD Oct 16/2013
    Report Reply
  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Personally, if it was the SO of a family member I'd invite them, because that child could potentially be related to you one day.  You certainly aren't required to in either situation, however.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
    image
    Report Reply
  • FormerlyAKFormerlyAK member
    10 Comments
    I have a child, so this is my "mom" opinion. If fi and I were invited to a wedding now and it was obvious everyone's kids were invited, but mine wasn't, I'd be upset. But, that is because in less than a year, it will be fi's step kid.

    When we were just dating, before we were engaged, I wouldn't have thought twice about being invited to a wedding as then-bf's date and not having my child invited regardless of how many other kids were there.
    Report Reply
  • MJandDLMJandDL
    100 Comments
    Thank you all for your resonses. I'm glad to hear that I'm not being a total B for not wanting to invite the child in this situation. I wish we could have cut off the children list at family only, but there were a couple of families whose kids we wanted to invite, so we had to invite all :/ Alot of them have teenagers/college age kids who we have no relationship with, but we didn't want anyone to feel left out or like we liked some people's kids better than theirs. I've been staring at my guest list for days trying to figure out if there is a way to not invite the 20 or so "kids" that fall into that category without hurting any feelings. It just gets really complicated because FI is friends with a couple of the college aged ones so then of course you don't want to have one sibling that is invited and one that isn't invited. Anyways...unrelated tangent..I'll be so glad when they invites are out and it's final.
    "When life hands you lemons, make a beef stew." Andy Milinokis
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards