I swear, I'm going to lose it one day. I have tried being as nice as possible, and smile and nod all the time. But this whole shower drama is out of control.
Backstory: She asked last winter who was throwing my shower. I told her my mom is. She insisted she throw one as well, so we told her she could do grooms fam and my mom would do my fam. She did this because she loves to throw parties because she wants everyone to praise her and pay attention to her for being "so wonderful to throw a party." I just agreed to it and went on. Easter time, she asked me if she could call my mom to talk about the shower. I reminded her that there are two, and it was her choice for it to be that way. She acted like this was news and began freaking out. I reminded her again that this had been discussed and I was sorry if she didn't understand that. So she went on her merry way, planning her own shower. My mom planned hers as well, and since its just for my side, she booked a resturant for the week before FI's sister's wedding. FMIL became confused again and said that wouldn't be possible for her family to attend. I REMINDED HER AGAIN that she was doing her fam, and my mom was doing mine.
Today I got a text from her showing me some shower invites she bought, asking if they were ok. I honestly do NOT care and tell her all the time that I should not be involved in the planning. She then asked me if my mom ever thought about having a combined shower, since there will probably be only 5-10 people at the one FMIL is throwing. I REMINDED HER AGAIN that she chose this, and that my mom did intend to have a joint shower.
She just doesn't think. She does not rationalize. She does what she wants and what she thinks will get her the most attention. I am sick and tired of constantly telling her, as politely as possible, what the plan his been since sometime in November. I'm going to blow my top if she asks one more time about something that has been discussed 4x over. I would have FI talk to her, but he really has no idea what happens at showers, and he thinks this is a "womens thing" to deal with. Also, he can't be polite to her, he just yells at her and makes her upset.
My mom is also very upset because my FMIL is unintentionally rude, and tends to not realize when she is behaving in a sh*tty manner. My mom called her for mothers day, left a message, and FMIL never called her back. My mom was over my apt one day and FMIL pulled in the driveway. She did not say a word to my mother, but instead began balling about some storm that was coming and how she was going to "chase it." (She does crap like this because she thinks it makes her young and cool). My mom was very offended, but still tries to extend the olive branch and be cordial to her, only to be shot down because FMIL doesn't know how to behave like an adult.
Ok I just had to vent. I'm so sick of it. She keeps asking me my opinion on shower stuff and honestly I dont care. It's going to be chinsy and tacky anyway, so I just don't bother putting my opinion in.