Need help...Bridesmaid dress doesnt fit

Re: Need help...Bridesmaid dress doesnt fit

• rlavach member

  

  February 2012

  Is everyone wearing the same dress? If so, see if she can get it altered to fit. If she's truly 2 full sizes larger, they may not be able to let that much out, but if it's a little long on her, a seamstress might be able to work some magic. She could also rush order a new dress.

  
  

  If some are wearing different dresses, then just have her buy another dress. It's a touchy subject, so I'd try to bring the subject up gently. Since she made it clear that she was losing weight to fit in the dress, I'd ask her 'how are things are coming along with the BM dress? I know it was a little snug the last time we spoke.' Remind her that you have a very short time span for alterations to be made.

  
  

  If time comes & she can't fit the dress that everyone else is wearing, she's effectively taken herself out of the bridal party. Not much you can do about it. 

  

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• blgrout

  

  February 2012

  Did she come to you about this or is this just what you're noticing?  I would think that if she came to you freaking out that her dress doesn't fit that she should probably start looking into whether the dress can be let out enough or if she needs a new one.  If she hasn't come to you, and you're just noticing that she's 2 sizes bigger....oy. That is a very touchy subject to broach with someone, and I wish I could give you some advice that would make it less so.  Maybe you can bring up the subject by saying "So, Jane bridesmaid and Jana bridesmaid just got their dresses done being altered.  Do you know when yours will be ready?"  Or something like that or like Rlavach suggested.
  
  Hopefully she realizes that it's way, WAY easier to go up a size than go down, and she starts dieting for the wedding now so that she doesn't end up with a disaster.  I suppose worst case scenario is she can't fit in her dress and takes herself out of the wedding party as Rlavach said.  That would be unfortunate, but you can't make someone lose weight, and subjects like that can be straining on friendships. GL on this one.

  

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• em01092 member

  

  February 2012

  Ditto PPs. If she hasn't said anything, approach the subject gently and soon. If she came to you about it, see what a seamstress can do or see if she can order another dress. I personally would not pay for it, neither offer nor agree to if she asks, because YOU did nothing wrong, other than maybe "letting" her order too small-my MOH tried to do this and I called the shop to change her ordering size, but that can't be helped now and still, she placed the order, bottomline, and should have known better. 

  
  

  I know it sucks, but the one major obligation of being a BM is getting the dress and showing up. If she failed to get the correct dress, which ordering a size too small would count, then she has removed herself from the WP, and you are not obligated to pay for her dress(es) costs. 
  

  
  

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• sam050986 member

  

  February 2012

  Only reason I found out the dress  is  two sizes to big is because she let me know. I thought she looked the same so I had no clue. I don't want to say anything because I know it is a touchy subject and I don't want to come off rude or make her think I'm pressuring her to lose weight. I think I will try to talk to her as nice as possible and see how the weight loss is going. If it looks the same then I will suggest on trying to get the dress let out. The dresses are the same so not sure how fast another dress could be ordered, but will look into it. Thank you girls for the advise. I'll let you know how it goes.

  

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• quiggels219

  

  February 2012

  That is a really tough situation and I'm sorry. I had a friend do this for another persons wedding and ended up having to pay to get extra fabric (no idea who made those dresses) and then pay to get it altered but it looked weird in the back so he had to also buy a matching shawl and wear that even though no one else had one. So there are ways to fix it - but I would bring it up asap because all those things take time. I agree with ppl that maybe bring it up in a round about way while discussing other bm. Good luck!

  

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• em01092 member

  

  February 2012 edited February 2012

  Yeah, I think you need to tell her you understand that she is trying to lose weight, but she is running out of time. She needs to plan for the dress to fit her as she is NOW, because it's getting down to the wire. She had her chance to lose and she didn't. Also, you should mention that liquid and other crash diets are super unhealthy. 

  
  

  A seamstress can probably let it out a little, but 2 sizes could be pushing it, unless more fabric is added. Could she try the dress on with some Spanx? 

  
  

  If a new dress has to be ordered, it will probably need to be rush ordered, if even then it could be in on time. AA's rush fee was not bad, only like $40 I think, but it varies I'm sure. Where are the BM dresses from?

  
  

  
  

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• sam050986 member

  

  February 2012

  I never thought of Spanx, not sure if it will work but I will put that in the pile of options. She wants to hang out soon so I will try to bring it up then as gently as I can. We cant order a new dress because the company we got the dress from went out of business last month. Only other option is to hope there is extra material to let it out, or see if we can find another dress that looks like the other girls. I'm just hoping when I talk to her she understands where I'm coming from. She can get offended very easily.

  

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• rlavach member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_need-helpbridesmaid-dress-doesnt-fit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:dbe11920-0b02-4657-bb76-7c56965b102fPost:9d47f6a8-6d74-439c-b2f7-2a21158f6b4e">Re: Need help...Bridesmaid dress doesnt fit</a>:
  [QUOTE]I never thought of Spanx, not sure if it will work but I will put that in the pile of options. She wants to hang out soon so I will try to bring it up then as gently as I can. We cant order a new dress because the company we got the dress from went out of business last month. Only other option is to hope there is extra material to let it out, or see if we can find another dress that looks like the other girls. I'm just hoping when I talk to her she understands where I'm coming from. <strong>She can get offended very easily.</strong>
  Posted by sam050986[/QUOTE]
  Ugh oh, that's not good. What about someone else breaking it to her. Do you have a friend, sister, mom that could perhaps say it very gently. Then when she asks you what your opinion is on the subject, you can concur? I only say that because you don't want her resenting you for this if she is easily offended.<div>
  </div><div>My BM was procrastinating in getting her dress. She kept waiting & waiting & waiting, hoping that she could save up enough $ to afford a $300 dress she fell in love with, even though I was suggesting $75 dresses. I talked to her several times about it, but no luck. Eventually I asked my mom to gently bring it up next time they were doing shower organizing & it worked. The next weekend she bought it. Sometimes hearing it from someone else has a greater impact.</div>

  

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• MCCRARYSCOTT member

  

  February 2012

  I have a bridesmaid who has done the same. Not just ordered smaller but also turned around and exchanged/ordered a completely different dress from the first one she picked out. I found out about the size from another friend. And she told me about the different style. I just hope it arrives in time. They said the first week of April and our wedding is April 21st.

  

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• sam050986 member

  

  February 2012

  I talked to my bridesmaid about the dress yesterday. I think it went well. I texted all the girls that I need to talk to them sometime soon to go over some things for the wedding. I did this so that my roommate didn't think I was singling her out. I brought up  a couple things for the wedding and then slowly slipped in the if you need alteration's you need to do that no later than a month before the wedding. Then in the nicest way I could think of asked her how the dress was fitting. She thinks it should fit for the wedding, but we will see once she gets her alteration's done. Over all I think it went well, I just hope they are able to let the dress out. Thanks ladies for all the advice. I'll have to update you if it doesn't fit, but I hope it doesn't come to that.

  

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