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May 2012 Weddings
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Anyone else experiencing this? :-(

JaimeD727JaimeD727
10 Comments
in May 2012 Weddings
So FI and I are at eachother's throats today! I am frustrated because he claims to be so stressed over things, and I'm like, uh? You haven't done anything...

All the "tasks" he said he would do NEVER get done unless I finish it up or remind him a bunch of times. I know he's annoyed that I keep on breathing down his neck about these things, but they need to be taken care of. 

I have a grad final paper due this Wednesday. I'm taking 3 days off of work which means more work than time off to prepare/make up for it. I am tying up all the loose ends and he says he will do things to help me out, but he doesn't finish them up. I feel bad complaining about him, but we totally just blew up at eachother. I don't want to be like this 5 days before the wedding. I know we are both stressed, but it sucks that we take it out on one another.... Anyone else experiencing ripples in the love pond?
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Re: Anyone else experiencing this? :-(

  • skpurnellskpurnell
    100 Comments
    My FI has been less than helpful, I understand where you're coming from.  I'm also a grad student and in the middle of finals, so that's been an added stress.  It would be nice if FI would pick up the slack (or at least just do his share of the work), but I've just given up.  Just take a deep breath, relax, and remember all the things you love about your hubby to be.  In 5 days it will all be over with, and you'll be married.  
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  • AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
    2500 Comments
    Nope...probably because I know it'll take less effort to just do it myself than to nag the hell out of FI to do something he really doesn't want to do and that I'd end up doing or re-doing in the end anyways, haha.  Things will get better!
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  • DianaL616DianaL616 member
    100 Comments
    FI and I had these problems too at the beginning of wedding planning stuff but I've given up since then. I ask him for help for things that I'm working on so we can do it together and get it done faster but I don't leave any tasks completely up to him to finish. I feel bad too but he's busy with work and stuff and I know cleaning mason jars and stuff like that just isn't on his mind like it is on my mind. Mens are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Anyway, I do understand exactly how you are feeling. You only have a few days left, it will get better!
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  • Tully16Tully16
    100 Comments
    Yes & no.  My FI is in grad school, so I'm not asking him to do very much.  Basically, he's in charge of communicating with his parents about our rehersal dinner, the tuxes, and getting gifts for his groomsmen.  However, he's already overly stressed with school so I feel bad asking him to do anything!  I try to be understanding when things aren't being done on "my" schedule because I know they'll get done...eventually.
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  • geojam224geojam224
    100 Comments
    I was about to write my own post about my issues with FI- yes I'm SO experiencing that.  We just had a huge fight and are not speaking right now.  See my post.
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  • ladychambers83ladychambers83 member
    500 Comments
    Maybe just take a day and go out on a date. Take a break from the wedding planning and focus on what lead you to this day!  ((Hugs))
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    MIL called DH many times a day in the 2 weeks leading up to our wedding with questions that stressed DH out. It was annoying how he would get so stressed about things he wasn't actually trying to figure out... I had to explain to him what exactly I do on a daily basis as far as plan our wedding... he literally had no idea how hard I worked and how long it took to get a simple day of timeline accomplished, or that it was important to have in the first place.
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  • toothpastechicatoothpastechica member
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    On sunday our church threw a wedding shower for us, and some of the older couples who have been married a long time were telling us "the 2 or 3 weeks before you get married is when a lot of big fights or doubts come up" and that if you can make it through the last 2 weeks without killing eachother, then you are going to have what it takes to make a marraige last. I think that was supposed to be encouraging advice?

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  • LilyWater09LilyWater09 member
    100 Comments
    Just think these are the easy frustrated fights.  Wait until kids, health issues, more severe money issues, and everything else pulling your time. 

    Take a deep breath - "and this to shall pass."  After your enjoy your bad thoughts, reflect on how to make these rough moments better next time, and remind yourself of some good thoughts. 

    My favorite line to FI lately is "Don't worry, it will all get done.  Maybe not when or how we originally planned it, but it will be done and we will be able to live with the results."  Followed by a big hug and several kisses. 
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  • JaimeD727JaimeD727
    10 Comments
    Thank you everyone for the supportive words. Last night when I went to the grocery store I bought FI a nice little "treat," and when I came home I gave it to him and apologized for taking my stress out on him. He apologized too. It's just not worth arguing over. We could have sat around all night holding grudges, and we would have been fine this morning, but it feels good to clear the air.
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  • ellebelleyellebelley
    10 Comments
    Oh yes me too! My FI had to leave me for 2 weeks for work... He comes back this coming Sunday but is missing SO many appts I feel like I'm doing it all by myself. ( Which I have been) Fortuantely my mom and dad have stepped in and they're great. But I just wish he was here with me :( Everyone I have spoken with that has been married for 30+ years said a couple weeks before your wedding you're going to want to kill each other too. They were so right. Just remember to take a step back and breathe- the day of is going to be perfect
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