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Plus-Sized
Strip Clubs
Of course FI wants to go to one for his bachelor party and I trust him to not do anything stupid. I have never been to one, should I go with him once to see what's it like? Or is that too much?
Lol another thread has my over imaginative imagination working overtime, I shouldn't read stuff like that when I only got a couple hours sleep and am hyped up on coke and coffee.
Lol another thread has my over imaginative imagination working overtime, I shouldn't read stuff like that when I only got a couple hours sleep and am hyped up on coke and coffee.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Strip Clubs
Seriously though, if it will make you feel better to check it out I would. I think if you have no idea what to expect it is easy to over think it and blow it out of proportion.
[QUOTE]I would just suggest you keep his credit card at home or make sure his limit is a lot lower than $9,700. lol Seriously though, if it will make you feel better to check it out I would. I think if you have no idea what to expect it is easy to over think it and blow it out of proportion.
Posted by rmontpas[/QUOTE]
Yeah, well he's already maxed out his credit cards so he will definiately be leaving those at home. Yeah maybe I will go with him once, he would love that he's asked me to go before but I got weirded out and said no and he hasn't mentioned it again but maybe i'll put my big girl undies on and just do it.
[QUOTE]For my and my H's relationship, it would be off limits, but that's something you need to determine with your FI. After that other thread, I'm thinking cash or a pre-paid credit card is the way to go.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]
Yeah he has never gone before since we've been together, so i'm not really sure how I feel about it. Yep cash only for us!
H went to strip clubs a fair amount before he met me. He has two skeezy a-hole uncles (MIL's brothers) who took him to one for his 21st birthday years ago and got him hooked when he was ahh, striking out with the ladies! Up until his bach party, he had never gone while we were together. I was uncomfortable with him going and would have preferred that he not go. However, I didn't want to be THAT FIANCEE who outlaws the strip club for a bach party when all his friends would want to go, KWIM? So I told him I was REALLY uncomfortable with the idea of him getting a lap dance. He promised he would try not to. Well of course his skeezy uncles kept buying him lap dances, as did his friends and brother, and he kept giving them to the other partygoers. At one point a stripper literally cornered him and made him accept a lap dance. I'm still pissed at his uncles and the couple friends who disrespected him and disrespected me by not respecting our wishes about the situation. I was somewhat upset when I found out, but I got over it eventually. Well and H felt terrible about it, so that helped.
[QUOTE]I've never been to a normal strip club with female dancers. I did go to a strip club when they had ladies' night with male dancers. It was entertaining. H went to strip clubs a fair amount before he met me. He has two skeezy a-hole uncles (MIL's brothers) who took him to one for his 21st birthday years ago and got him hooked when he was ahh, striking out with the ladies! Up until his bach party, he had never gone while we were together. I was uncomfortable with him going and would have preferred that he not go. However, I didn't want to be THAT FIANCEE who outlaws the strip club for a bach party when all his friends would want to go, KWIM? So I told him I was REALLY uncomfortable with the idea of him getting a lap dance. He promised he would try not to. Well of course his skeezy uncles kept buying him lap dances, as did his friends and brother, and he kept giving them to the other partygoers. At one point a stripper literally cornered him and made him accept a lap dance. I'm still pissed at his uncles and the couple friends who disrespected him and disrespected me by not respecting our wishes about the situation. I was somewhat upset when I found out, but I got over it eventually. Well and H felt terrible about it, so that helped.
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]
Yeah that's what I mean, I don't want to be the fiancee that says "No way in heck are you going" and he knows that i'm not thrilled with the idea and has promised he won't do anything he'd regret later.
It's good he kept his head and did try and respect your wishes. I am going to ask FI to try and respect mine, i'm not sure i'd even mind the lap dance out in the front but I will ask him to respect my wishes and not go into the back rooms, that just makes me super uncomfortable.
Personally, I'm not the kindof person to put restrictions on my FI, so if he wants to go for his bach party, then fine (he would never go otherwise)...but like you said mari - he needs to be aware of limitations. I know my bff plans on getting a stripper for my bachelorette party (i did for hers) so its not really fair for me to say "absolutely not" for him and have one myself. BUT we'll both have restrictions on behavior and $$.
Plus, I know some of FI's friends are totally trashy and have talked him into doing really stupid stuff in the past so I don't trust them for a minute! The last thing I want is for one of them to talk him into something I can't forgive him for.
[QUOTE]Personally, I'm not the kindof person to put restrictions on my FI, so if he wants to go for his bach party, then fine (he would never go otherwise)...but like you said mari - he needs to be aware of limitations. I know my bff plans on getting a stripper for my bachelorette party (i did for hers) so its not really fair for me to say "absolutely not" for him and have one myself. BUT <strong>we'll both have restrictions on behavior and $$. </strong>
Posted by chickenbut143[/QUOTE]
Exactly! One of my bridesmaids is more conservative than I am so no strippers for me, but I cannot honestly say I would be opposed to it. However he's already gotten to some cc trouble (thnakfully not as bad as that OP's in the other thread) which is why he's given the finances to me so he has some serious limitations on the money front
[QUOTE]Personallly I would be fine with it and knowing my fiancee's best man (my brother) I'm sure it will be a wild night. My theory is if a guy is going to do something stupid he is going to do it regardless of if he has your attention
Posted by mollyehren[/QUOTE]
Yeah that is true and since FI and I don't live together yet except on the weekends, he lives about an hour away from me he must love and respect me since i've never had a moments worry.
As PS women...I think that it's almost silly for our men to go the strip club. If they wanted skinny women...they would be with skinny women. I know it's a man thing and that men are turned on more visually...but if a man chooses to be with a PS woman...obviously the whole super skinny look is not all that appealing to him. So I say...go, have fun! I am of the mindset that I don't care where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home.
If they made hottie man clubs where we could go and watch hot men do things that normal everyday men don't..ehhhem housework? I would totally be hitting up that club with my stacks of ones.
Something to remember about strip clubs - when a woman goes, the dancers will (usually) be much nicer to the guy(s) you're with as having a female with you tends to show you're not a total letch or skeevy guy. Tends to.
This is my general experience.
Our neighbor that we love, adore and always hang out with noticed a new strip club popped up in our neighborhood and I immediately reacted by saying we should all go sometime. FI was the one who was actually uncertain - he's never been and actually doesn't have any desire to go to a strip club.
This box shipped toys? No this box is toy!
[QUOTE]We're both secure in our love for each other and realize we're both human and humans are going to look. It would be like walking through an art museum and not looking at anything because you have a Picasso at home. Dude... appreciate the art. It's okay.
Posted by burntofferings[/QUOTE]
THIS! Very well said :)
If you have the time and wanted to read something really interesting that changed a lot of my preconceptions about strippers, read Strip City by Lily Burana. It's a fantastic book, and it really gives you an idea of what goes on without actually entering a club.
Here's the thing, though, if you think about it and really and truly aren't interested, and are really uncomfortable, then your FI should respect that. It doesn't mean you're the nag or the witch, it means that you have a boundary here, and that's your price of admission. He loves you, and he should respect your boundaries.
167 Invited
[QUOTE]My FI and I are doing a joint celebration because we both have male/female friends and we want to just party and have fun with all of them (not do boys/girls stuff) Plus, I know some of FI's friends are totally trashy and have talked him into doing really stupid stuff in the past so I don't trust them for a minute! The last thing I want is for one of them to talk him into something I can't forgive him for.
Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]
<div>I think that a person that loves someone should have enough will power to stand up to his friends. I know that peopledo things they regret- but that is 100% their choice. No one is holding a gun to a friends head telling them they have to do something wrong before they get married because its "tradition"</div><div>
</div><div>I am pretty sure if a guy walked away and said he didn't want to do something his real friends would appreciate it. And if they didnt, they are either drunk or crappy friends. If they are the former- then in the AM they will have totally agreed that the guy shouldnt have done it and ift hey are the latter- they suck,</div><div>
</div><div>But I don't think anyone in this world can be "TALKED" into doing something.</div><div>Unless its like a life/death situation. Ie something from crimminal minds.</div>
167 Invited
IMO, if you are 100% comfortable with yourself and don't mind if he looks, go with him, but not if it's going to make you jealous/ feel horrible about yourself. Somethings you'd rather not know.
[QUOTE]I've been to a strip club. They wear bottoms (if you can call them that) and pasties, but other than that thet are naked.
Posted by mandctaft[/QUOTE]
Check your local laws about this, my state allows full nudity.
I have attended one of these establishments with my FI several years ago. It was a spur of the moment idea for a friends birthday party. My experience was a learning one more than anything else. The girls were nice to me when I entered the lobby, as they try to make you feel comfortable just being there. It was nice that I got to see what went on and ask my FI a lot of questions. In all honesty, I found the waitresses much more attractive than the dancers!
As to your original question, it really depends on you. If you are interested in how these places work, I recommend going. If the idea of seeing naked girls "dance" on platforms grosses you out, stay home. The decision on to allowing him to go depends on the two of you having a discussion and him having respect for your views. Also keep in mind that it is not just your FI you have to trust not to do stupid things, it will also be the company he keeps during this party. If you do not trust some of his friends and they do not respect you, then maybe you two should set up rules for your parties.
[QUOTE]As PS women...I think that it's almost silly for our men to go the strip club. If they wanted skinny women...they would be with skinny women. I know it's a man thing and that men are turned on more visually...but if a man chooses to be with a PS woman...<strong>obviously the whole super skinny look is not all that appealing to him</strong>. So I say...go, have fun! I am of the mindset that I don't care where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home. If they made hottie man clubs where we could go and watch hot men do things that normal everyday men don't..ehhhem housework? I would totally be hitting up that club with my stacks of ones. :)
Posted by BubbsNBubbs[/QUOTE]
Not really accurate. My FI isn't built and perfectly toned, but I still find guys like Ryan Reynolds delish. I would expect the same of him.