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May 2012 Weddings
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Awkward guest situation - help!

caitlinc09caitlinc09
500 Comments
in May 2012 Weddings
So last night a couple we invited to the wedding broke up. They've been together for almost two years so it's a pretty big deal. 

The thing is, FI was very close with the guy for a few years and he was the one on the guest list and her name was listed under his on the invitation because we knew she would be his guest. We both became friends with his girlfriend simply because she was dating him, she's not a bad person but we just don't click as friends. We're almost frenemies in a way because we are competitive with each other over a lot. 

So, is she technically still invited? I know this may be horrible etiquette to even think like that but she wouldn't have been invited if she wasn't dating FI's friend. Even if she does still want to attend I'm certain she wouldn't have much fun because he and all of his friends probably wouldn't be talking to her and wouldn't want to sit by her, and she doesn't really know any of my friends I'm inviting.

How do I approach this? Should I ask her if she's still coming? They RSVPd yes together. 

Thoughts?
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Re: Awkward guest situation - help!

  • FutureMrsW9FutureMrsW9
    100 Comments
    Oy, yeah, that stinks.  The same thing happened to me, only I was the guest at the wedding who broke up with my then bf.  He did not come to the wedding with me, and my guess is that she probably won't come with your FI's friend anymore unless they work things out between now and then.  You should just have FI ask his friend if she's still planning on coming.
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  • littleshrinklittleshrink member
    100 Comments
    I would bet she isn't planning on coming, knowing that you all were friends prior to the two of them dating.  I would just let this one lie.  You have a million other things to worry about than this one.
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  • csgmancsgman member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Do they live together?  If not, who got the invite?  If they don't live together and the invite went to his house, I think she would know she was invited as his date.  But if you have any question, I'd have FI ask his friend-- maybe wait a bit and make sure the break up sticks since it just happened yesterday
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  • mancila60mancila60
    1000 Comments
    I would have FI mention it to his friend that the invite was for him.  That way he knows she is not invited unless coming with him. I don't think she will come I would think she would be smart enough to know she was just his guest BUT these days I wouldn't put anything past some people.
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  • Melissa51212Melissa51212 member
    500 Comments
    I agree with pp wait a week see what happens the ask fi to deal with it...we had a situation where one of our GMs breaks up with his gf every other day...they have a kid together so we talked to him and said you can bring her or not...as of now he is lol
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  • vineyard12vineyard12
    500 Comments
    I would let this be. I am willing to bet that she won't come, since you were not really great friends. I wouldn't uninvite her. I think that if she wants to come, she should be able to come. Maybe after a bit of time she'll tell you if she isn't coming. If you were closer friends, I would say call her and ask how SHE is doing and not mention the wedding. She'd probably bring it up on her own. Otherwise, let it be and see what happens.
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  • MelisMCMelisMC member
    100 Comments
    I agree with others. Ask your FI to speak to his friend. If I were in that situation, I would assume I was invited as the guest and not treat it as my own individual invite. Given the situation as well, I'm thinking she won't be coming. I know I personally wouldn't feel comfortable.
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  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    It is bad etiquette to uninvite her.  Are your RSVPs due yet?  Simply call and ask her if she is coming or not.  I bet she won't though.
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In most situations if this had occurred between STDs and the invites it would be more okay to not send her an invite because they aren't two friends that happen to be dating, they are your FI's friend and the girl he is dating. Because they already RSVPed for both of them, technically she is still invited... I would have your FI ask his friend if she was still planning to attend or ask her yourself. She may not want to come anyways. I wouldn't if I was her...
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