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July 2012 Weddings
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So frustrated! Massive vent

HallanoleHallanole
100 Comments
in July 2012 Weddings
I can't take it right now. I am so stressed out with planning, FI is stubbornly saying no to every song choice I recommend. I have to have the song stuff sent in soon and still working out songs. GAH!

I haven't been sleeping. Now I fall asleep about 11pm only to wake at 2am and struggle with sleep.

I am literally getting the shakes every morning. Which isn't helping me remain calm.

FI has been so friggin lazy. He used to be a neat freak, now he's become the ultimate slob. He cooks dinner every night and leaves a mess all over the kitchen. He never does the dishes anymore, even if I ask. He hasn't even taken the trash out all week and I asked him and now my house reeks due to nasty trash in a house during a heatwave. 

And the best part, I asked him this morning to swing by the bank before work to pay a Late! loan payment and he left it on the darn table!!!!!

I am soooo mad. I don't even want to see his face right now because I know I'm going to flip out. 

Now I am going to be cleaning my house which is registering at 90 degrees inside.  
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Re: So frustrated! Massive vent

  • KatieK501KatieK501 member
    100 Comments
    That really sucks.  I hope that getting it out on here helps.

    Is the FI stressed or busy with work or other things too?  If he is, try to stay patient with him because both of you being stressed is never a good thing. 

    If he's not stressed about anything and just being difficult, try to calmly talk to him about how you're feeling and let him know it would help you destress a little if he helps out - like cleaning up after he cooks and suggesting songs.  Don't let it be all negative - you could tell him your really thankful he cooks dinner, but you wish the kitchen wasn't left in such a mess.
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  • HallanoleHallanole
    100 Comments
    I have tried talking to him calmly. I even told him I'm stressed out. He agrees to help me then just doesn't. Then when I tell him what he didn't do and I'm in a bad mood, he gets ticked off at me.

    He's not exactly stressed at work. He's doing the same that he's always done. He's just become a procrastinator and a slob. 

    I'm still ticked from him the other weekend. He piled all the dishes in the sink and after I got about 3/4 of the way through, I found my pampered chef stone pans at the bottom. Now destroyed from soap. I removed one only to accidenly drop it and shattered it.
    I have been telling him for 3 years not to put them in the sink. He blamed me for it. And he hasn't apologized for messing up.


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  • honeybear072012honeybear072012
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_so-frustrated-massive-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:ac315201-6c42-4615-acc5-799afc370168Post:fad2fd2c-5f5f-4bf9-b6ba-97ab39d41822">Re: So frustrated! Massive vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have tried talking to him calmly. I even told him I'm stressed out. He agrees to help me then just doesn't. Then when I tell him what he didn't do and I'm in a bad mood, he gets ticked off at me. He's not exactly stressed at work. He's doing the same that he's always done. He's just become a procrastinator and a slob.  I'm still ticked from him the other weekend. He piled all the dishes in the sink and after I got about 3/4 of the way through, <strong>I found my pampered chef stone pans at the bottom. Now destroyed from soap. I removed one only to accidenly drop it and shattered it</strong>. I have been telling him for 3 years not to put them in the sink. He blamed me for it. And he hasn't apologized for messing up.
    Posted by Hallanole[/QUOTE]

    Oh no!  I'm so sorry!  That's awful!!!  Those are such great pans!  Maybe someone will replace them for you for the wedding?

    In regards to FI sounds like he might be acting out?  I don't think a guy is going to change that much in such a short amount of time.  Maybe don't try to point out what he hasn't done, just point out when he does do what you want.  I know it's a pain he's not doing what he asked but try and get past it.  It's not worth stressing about this too.  =\
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  • owengirl996owengirl996 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I'm sorry :(  I would be so frustrated as well. I don't really have any suggestions...I have been there with asking FI to do something and he doesn't do it, but usually if I pout, he does it lol I assume you've tried that approach...

    *HUGS* Hopefully it's just wedding stress for him too, and he shapes up soon! (Like, BEFORE the wedding!!)
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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    That really sucks.  It sounds like he is stressed out even if he isn't telling you.  I would definitely talk to him calmly how much you would appreciate him helping out around the house and that he can't just leave it all for him to do.  Maybe you both need a date night out to talk about non-wedding stuff and just relax!

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