name change?

bissea83 · September 2010

I have been debating if i schould change or hyphenite my name once we are maried.

my FH's step mother has the same name as me and they live a few towns away. I keep worrying that if i do change my name that our mail, and other important info may get mixed up.

Maybe i worry too much but my FH was having trouble because he shares his name with a man 2 towns over and he kept getting charged for that persons missed tolls. It was finally cleared up it took almost 2 years to get the money back from this issue.

I'm not sure what to do cuz i could care less about hyphening but i don't want confusion.

jennylove810 · September 2010

I think if you change your name, it should be because you want to, and not because you're worried (or not) about mail confusion.

The name change, to me, is just a way more personal issue than any of the reasons you listed above.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

I agree with pp. Mail mix-up happen everyday and that shouldn't be a deciding factor in whether or not you change your name.

For me, it meant that we were essentially "one." I don't want there to be any confusion when we have kids or want them to have long hypenated names. I guess I may be a little traditional, but it was just a natural thing for me when we got married. We didn't really even talk about it much or make a big issue out of it.

Pirata13 · September 2010

I wouldn't hypenate just for that. You can choose to list your full name on bills and accounts to help clarlify the difference.but as PPs said, you can still have mixups. If you are attached to your maiden name though, like I am, you can also consider what I am doing. When I change mine, I am dropping my current middle name and making my maiden name my middle. So instead of Pirata Marie Maiden, I will be Pirata Maiden HisLast, no hyphen.

Generally I will use Pirata HisLast but for some theatre-related and other events, I will use my (new) full name.

Sirinial · September 2010

He should be taking YOUR last name! That would solve both problems rather neatly, don't you think?

bethsmiles · September 2010

Nobody's name is 100% unique. I'm sure your name as it is right now is the same as some other people's. I don't think possible confusion is a good reason to not change your name.

2dBride · September 2010

I have never wanted to change my name. But the name confusion I was worried about is that people who knew me under my old name (personally or professionally) would not find me under my new one. It seemed silly to me that I was expected to give all that up, while he could just go on as before.

However, I don't think the possibility of the name confusion you describe is a reason not to change if you otherwise want to. No matter what your name is, you have the potential of someone else having the same one.

twilight.rose · September 2010

I legally kept my full maiden name and tacked my married name onto the end, no hyphen. Thus, I essentially have two legal last names.

For most mail, etc. I use just my first and married name, but you could use "First Maiden Married" if that would make you feel more at ease. PPs are right, though, that mail mix-ups happen everyday, regardless of people's names (we get mail constantly for the man who lived in our apt. previously because he never changed his address.)

FutureMrsMcDaniel · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_name-change-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5d46baea-d2b1-40c4-850f-9d8acdd03002Post:8d221bb6-07b2-4f9a-b2da-2e49c12d6052">Re: name change?</a>:
[QUOTE]I legally kept my full maiden name and tacked my married name onto the end, no hyphen. Thus, I essentially have two legal last names.
Posted by twilight.rose[/QUOTE]

Exact same thing I did. I refer to myself as First Maiden Married now.

I mean, if you are concerned about mail mix up, I'd rather my mail go to my stepmother than a random stranger.

This should not be the deciding factor in whether you change your name.

Theresa626 · September 2010

If I were worried about that, I would hyphenate my name or not change it at all.

pizzanfries4me · September 2010

I am in the process of changing my last name - and I'm very excited about it. If mail gets mixed up, ah well - there is worse things in the world, and think of how much the mail gets mixed up as it is... LOL. I have a good friend that hyphenated (sorry if I butched that spelling) but she did that and she regrets it... BIG TIME.

Lisa50 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_name-change-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:5d46baea-d2b1-40c4-850f-9d8acdd03002Post:3b2bb4d8-7b7a-4723-bfd3-232717650eae">Re: name change?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if you change your name, it should be because you want to, and not because you're worried (or not) about mail confusion. The name change, to me, is just a way more personal issue than any of the reasons you listed above.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

Agreed. Also, I cannot tell if the original post indicates a true desire for a name change.

Adrini76 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_name-change-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5d46baea-d2b1-40c4-850f-9d8acdd03002Post:003f4e24-8384-4237-8050-05155d631bf7">Re: name change?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am in the process of changing my last name - and I'm very excited about it. If mail gets mixed up, ah well - there is worse things in the world, and think of how much the mail gets mixed up as it is... LOL. I have a good friend that hyphenated (sorry if I butched that spelling) but she did that and she regrets it... BIG TIME.
Posted by pizzanfries4me[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I have five that did and they tell me it's the way to go. To each their own but one example does not a lesson make. Granted nor does five. Just sayin'. </div><div>
</div><div>I HATE the expectation that I will change my name. I also hate the absolute shock that a couple of people have had when I told them we're hyphenating for our family. As though kids who's last names have a few extra letters are somehow abused by the simple reality of having them. I don't get it. It really isn't that big of a deal. </div><div>
</div><div>You can talk to your post office and tell them about your concern. They are there to help and will be happy to keep an eye out for you, least the ones we have around here are. </div>

name change?

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