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House Party

lmskmf09lmskmf09 member
First Comment
in Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

In a dilemma for bridesmaids vs house party. My fiance wants 6 groomsmen, I am thinking 3 groomsmen and 3 ushers. I want 3 bridesmaids and 4 in the house party to still keep people apart of it. How many is too many in the house party? What kinds of tasks can you give them? I know I shouldn't worry to much about upsetting people, but I know how they can be. Suggestions?

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Re: House Party

  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You don't have to have a house party.  It's okay if you don't have equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids.  Honestly, I think that a 4 person house party is too large.

    ETA:  If your FI feels like 6 of his friends should be his groomsmen, then you should let him have that. 
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  • MichelleAG05MichelleAG05
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I won't go into groomsmen vs bridemaids (my fiance wanted 1 and I told him he has to have 4 - lol).  But as far as the house party - I think it depends on what you want them to do!  I'm planning on listing people in the House Party who are going to be helping that day - my cousin doing hair, my sister making the wedding cake, my SIL doing something TBD, etc.  That way their contribution to our day is formally acknowledged in the program!

    I know it's not a traditional "house party", but who cares?! 
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_house-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7b356289-9451-47d9-9620-d0f1704fab0ePost:2c481e66-947f-4fdb-9dbf-2ea1aa88aea2">Re: House Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I won't go into groomsmen vs bridemaids (my fiance wanted 1 and I told him he has to have 4 - lol).  But as far as the house party - I think it depends on what you want them to do!  I'm planning on listing people in the House Party who are going to be helping that day - my cousin doing hair, my sister making the wedding cake, my SIL doing something TBD, etc.  That way their contribution to our day is formally acknowledged in the program! I know it's not a traditional "house party", but who cares?! 
    Posted by MichelleAG05[/QUOTE]

    Well, honestly... I would.  I feel like those duties are "hired help" duties and not the responsibility of someone that you want to honor on your wedding day.  I think that most people would feel that way too.  And having a "who cares" attitude generally means that you're stepping on and hurting someone along the way.
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  • DFWIndianDFWIndian
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have to agree with Brianna on this one. Having an uneven party isn't a big deal. We almost had that because we thought one if not more weren't going to make it to the wedding. I think if your FI wants 6 let him no reason to give them otehr duties. Now we had 4 ushers, my cousin helped with make up, and all my other uncles, aunts, and cousins helped with everything from the chior to handing out meal tickets. I didn't put it all in the program, but I got them gifts and they felt like they were acknowledged.
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  • MichelleAG05MichelleAG05
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Note - these family members have already come to me and said "I will be offended if you don't ask me to do _____".  So they're already doing those things, regardless of what house party or notes in the programs we will have.  They actually do these things professionally.  I'm just a lucky girl to have a baker, 2 florists, and a hair dresser all in the family.
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  • lmskmf09lmskmf09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I've thought the 6 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids, but I don't know who else to have usher this way they'd still be a key part of the ceremony. I also want my friends from out of town to feel included without the responsibility of the bridesmaid which is why I was thinking houseparty....
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_house-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7b356289-9451-47d9-9620-d0f1704fab0ePost:e640f751-a42b-4bb2-8490-408376cc5e1e">Re: House Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah I've thought the 6 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids, but I don't know who else to have usher this way they'd still be a key part of the ceremony. I also want my friends from out of town to feel included without the responsibility of the bridesmaid which is why I was thinking houseparty....
    Posted by lmskmf09[/QUOTE]

    You don't have to have specified ushers.  I had my grandfather walk with my grandmother, my FIL walk with his wife, my SFIL walk with MIL (basically, the ladies walk with their own husbands), and my male cousin walked my widowed grandmother down the aisle. 

    Don't feel like you have to have all of these different titles in your wedding, because it's honestly more comfortable for people to walk with their significant others. 

    Your friends from out of town will feel included, even if you don't hand them duties.  :)
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_house-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7b356289-9451-47d9-9620-d0f1704fab0ePost:0ba386f3-bbba-4c8b-bc05-96e794f45e30">Re: House Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Note - these family members have already come to me and said "I will be offended if you don't ask me to do _____".  So they're already doing those things, regardless of what house party or notes in the programs we will have.  They actually do these things professionally.  I'm just a lucky girl to have a baker, 2 florists, and a hair dresser all in the family.
    Posted by MichelleAG05[/QUOTE]

    I'm lucky in the same sense since I have family members and close friends that helped out with things too, but because that's something they offered, I wouldn't consider them "house party".
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We had a four-person house party, and they really didn't have any "responsibilities."  I think they day of they passed out programs, and one of them really helped my MOH with my bachelorette party, but otherwise they just got to hang out the day of while we all got pretty, I bought them breakfast, and they got their names in the program.

    I will echo what everyone else said about your WP not needing to be even.  We had a bridesmaid who was literally about to give birth on our wedding day, and I never would have dreamed of replacing her if she couldn't make it.
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  • lmskmf09lmskmf09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can easily have 6 bridesmaids as well but I really wanted to keep it small so it'd be more intimate and I could afford to have their hair make up etc done
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  • aeliza06aeliza06 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_house-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:7b356289-9451-47d9-9620-d0f1704fab0ePost:13728d37-1dd4-4667-96a9-f346f5722230">Re: House Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can easily have 6 bridesmaids as well but I really wanted to keep it small so it'd be more intimate and I could afford to have their hair make up etc done
    Posted by lmskmf09[/QUOTE]

    <div>While I am sure the bridesmaids will appreciate the gesture, if the affordability thing is getting in the way, it isn't required that you provide their hair and makeup. Personally, I would rather involve someone close to me on my day (and be in pictures and video) than think "I couldn't afford for you to be my bridesmaid". I'm not saying that this works for everyone- but just my two cents. I have been in my fair share of weddings and have never expected the bride to provide the hair and makeup. </div>
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  • Tiffany618Tiffany618
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Everyone else has covered this well, but I just wanted to add that I had 3 bridesmaids and DH had 5 groomsmen.   Two of the groomsmen doubled as ushers, and then just filtered down the side to stand by DH when they were done.  No house party.

    Having an uneven number was no big deal at all.
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  • winechic25winechic25 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We had three bridesmaids and three groomsmen with no ushers. Our groomsmen acted as ushers for the grandparents and parents as needed. The only people I listed in my program beyond the immediate bridal party, parents and grandparents were the readers and the officiant. I also had a ton of people who helped me make my wedding as awesome as it was, and I made sure to call that out in my dedication page in our programs, but didn't name specific people.
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  • TexanTreasure08TexanTreasure08 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_house-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:7b356289-9451-47d9-9620-d0f1704fab0ePost:2c481e66-947f-4fdb-9dbf-2ea1aa88aea2">Re: House Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I won't go into groomsmen vs bridemaids <strong>(my fiance wanted 1 and I told him he has to have 4 - lol). </strong> But as far as the house party - I think it depends on what you want them to do!  I'm planning on listing people in the House Party who are going to be helping that day - my cousin doing hair, my sister making the wedding cake, my SIL doing something TBD, etc.  That way their contribution to our day is formally acknowledged in the program! I know it's not a traditional "house party", but who cares?! 
    Posted by MichelleAG05[/QUOTE]

    <div>Why would you make him have more groomsmen than he wanted? It's his wedding too.</div>
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