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HELP! Does this seem fair to you?

LuvNyYanksLuvNyYanks
First Comment
in Chit Chat

I get along great with my future inlaws...but since before we even got engaged I always stated my wish to have a smaller wedding of nomore than 175 people....they seemed fine with that at the time....now its time to start making guestlists and they are trying to convince me to have like 250 people!!!! I think this is rotten....not to mention, they have 150 of their own guest on the list...so what does that leave me?? It leaves me 25 people to invite to stand my ground!!!...Im ticked off!! Plus they are trying to make my feel guilty by saying "well its ok we just wont invite any of our friends...."....I dont care....we both want a small wedding on a friday night....I told her we are not getting married for a populatiry contest....this is crazy!my fiance and I have been together 10 years and just wanna get married...we dont want a circus...

 

Any tips for me to stand my ground?

 

ps- They are giving some money, but not even half.....

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Re: HELP! Does this seem fair to you?

  • conanabanana02conanabanana02
    10 Comments
    They are *trying* to convince you. Just stand your ground. Be firm with your 'no.' If you toss it around with a, "Umm...nah. No, I don't wanna..." then it's not as convincing that you don't actually want that many people. Be firm.

    My MIL is trying to get my to do a wishing well. Personally, I'm repulsed by the idea of them and I flat out told her, "No. I don't want that. I will not do it." She mentioned it a few  more times that night and each time I stood firm with my answer. She hasn't bothered me about it since.

    It's YOUR wedding, not hers. Be strong, my friend. And good luck!
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  • hayleymajayleyhayleymajayley
    1000 Comments
    If you want 175 guests and she is paying for a good chunk (even if it's less than half) tell her she can suggest x number of guests. 75 maybe? And even then you and your FI can veto people  you've never met before, people you hate, etc.
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  • MrsS8998MrsS8998 member
    First Comment
    I'm sorry you're going through this. Weddings are stressful enough w/o people adding more to it! I agree, you should get your fiance involved. He needs to have a talk with his mom and reiterate that this is your wedding, not hers.
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  • zSjBszSjBs
    First Comment
    This is YOUR wedding.. stand your ground and just say no... if she's using the fact that she's helping to pay for the wedding to guilt you into doing something you don't want, then don't accept her money... helping you pay for the wedding just so she gets a say in what happens is an awful thing to do...
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  • lisarose7lisarose7
    500 Comments
    Just tell her you set the maximum invites at 175 and she needs to shave her list to 50-75ppl.  If she doesn't, tell her you're just going to pick 50 (or a number of your choosing) of her names at random and those people will get invitations.  It's your wedding, not hers, and it's not like you weren't up-front with her about the size from the beginning.
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    Stop The Drama!

    image Love people. Use things. Never confuse the two.
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