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June 2013 Weddings
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FI invited to his cousin's wedding

sopraffinasopraffina
100 Comments
in June 2013 Weddings
FI just called and said that his cousin is getting married in October. They called his brother to get addresses and said that they were just inviting Evan and not me because they don't know me. My first reaction is to be totally pissed off. But then I wonder about the people I'm inviting.

We're inviting all spouses and significant others. We're not adding plus ones just so singles can bring anybody, but if I were made aware of someone who was in a relationship, I'd certainly invite them. I just checked our guest list and his cousin is on there with his fiance, and I didn't even know they were engaged! 

I would really love to go and meet his extended family before our wedding, not to mention it would be nice to actually go to a Jewish wedding before I try to incorporate traditions into my own.

Obviously, they're allowed to invite whoever they want, but I think FI should decline the invitation. I know he won't, though.

Cake! - June 2013
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Re: FI invited to his cousin's wedding

  • AllieS421AllieS421 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    That's a bummer and wouldn't sit right with me if I was in your position. Clearly they know OF you if they called and mentioned you weren't invited and you are in a social unit with your FI since you are engaged. I wouldn't mention anything but maybe FI can bring something up to his mom casually, especially since it will give you a chance to meet family. It's great that you are realizing that the right thing to do is invite significant others for your wedding though!
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  • ktwed1ktwed1
    500 Comments
    I find that to be rather rude as you are engaged. I understand not inviting plus ones to those who are single but to omit people who are clearly in a relationship/ engaged is not right in my opinion. You are going to be family and an excuse of we don't know her is ridiculous because for that reason. You will be part of the family.
    I agree I think your FI should decline the invitation at least that's what I would hope my FI would do.
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  • NikishaMcFallNikishaMcFall
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    How rude!  Good for you taking the high road.
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  • cnf2013cnf2013 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    That is rude. It doesn't matter if they haven't met you. You're marrying their cousin. Your relationship is solid. Significant others should be invited. They're making a big no-no. We're inviting everyone who has an SO with their SO, regardless of whether or not we've met them or like them. One of our groomsmen is dating a girl we don't like, but she's on our guest list. And two SO's on our list we've never met. It's just rude. 
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  • bar10521bar10521 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    That is unbelievably rude! I'm glad you're taking the high road on it. Could your FI mention something to his cousin about you not being invited?
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  • FutureMrsPrice2013FutureMrsPrice2013
    100 Comments
    That is so rude!
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  • ashlidieashlidie member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Well that's awefully rude... 
    FI either needs to decline, or very eloquently play dumb and say something like "Was my fiancee an oversight or is this invitation for only me?  Only me?  Im sorry I will have to decline, my fiancee will be a member of this family too and I can not justifiably attend without her."

    Hopefully they will realize the mistake though.

    The b!tch in me wants to say "Oh, that's a good point, we don't really know your wife to be either so I guess we will take her off the guest list for our wedding next June."  HAHA don't say that, that's just what I want to say.
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  • anastassiiatanastassiiat
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Ditto on everyone above! I'd be super pissed, too. I wonder if FI's cousins parents know that you weren't invited? Maybe your FI can try to have a talk with them if they are close?
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  • LouD042109LouD042109 member
    10 Comments
    That is extremely rude. I don't think that your FI should go without you. I think he should say something to his cousin about why you weren't invited and then decline if you remain uninvited.  
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  • sopraffinasopraffina
    100 Comments
    FI's mother died 20 years ago, so it's basically him and his dad. They don't like to make waves. I think it would be a good gesture to call them and try to get their address for our invitations. That way, there's no chance they don't understand that we are engaged.

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  • Lissa1213Lissa1213 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Wow, thats rude!  I wonder how they would feel if you split them up b/c you didn't know one of them.  You should never split up a couple on a wedding invite, bad bad manners.  If this happened to me I would (i know it's wrong) so incourage FI not to go.  That would have me so P/O'd

     

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  • sparkles776sparkles776 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree, thats super rude, I agree with ash though, that is exactly how I would have my FI respond. Anyone in a committed relationship should be given a plus one. I am still giving all of my single guests a plus one as well. One of my BMs isnt in a relationship and wants to bring her mom as her plus one, somewhat strange, but if thats who she wants to bring its fine. I absolutely cannot stand one of FIs friends GFs. I hate her. We are still giving him a plus one though, they have been together for a couple years and it would be rude to not invite her even though I am secretly hoping she doesnt come.
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