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cmanz937 · May 2011

This message was deleted by poster.

LoveMuffins · May 2011

I'm sorry you have to deal with that =(

To be honest, as much as she's stressing you out, I'd probably start seeing a therapist so that you have someone you can always go talk to about this and who might be able to give you good coping mechanisms for dealing with her. dealing with someone with mental health issues someitmes means that you'll need a little extra help too, so that you don't get drawn into the crazy.

One thing I will say is that part of the reason she stresses you guys out is because you care. I would keep her from talking to you at all; don't pick up the phone when she calls, or hand it over to FI for him to deal with her. That's probably best anyway, since she doesn't seem to want much to do with you. And let him handle how much you two see her, and just ignore her complaints... it's up to him how involved he wants his parents to be in his life. If he doesn't want her to be, then it's not your fault, and just start tuning her out when she's complaining, or go find someone else to talk to.

That's what I would do anyway. She gets to you because you care, and you let her. Granted, she sounds harder to ignore than most people, but that's why a therapist might be good too.

theluckiest555 · May 2011

I'm struggling with alot of problems with my FIL's as well. Our FMIL's actually sound pretty similar, lol. She does not like me one but basically because she thinks I try to control and manipuate FI.

Im sorry you are going through this too. The best advice I can give you is to just limit your contact with her right now. You and your FI deserve to be happy, and you shouldn't let this ruin that for you. Just focus on the fact that you are going to marry your best friend.

Hopefully, things will eventaually work themselves out.

trix1223 · May 2011

I didn't get all the way through that whole wall-o-text, but I do want to comment on your snarky description of vertigo. It's far more than a fancy word for "dizzy". I had vertigo. I was unable to stand for long periods of time. I couldn't walk a straight line. In fact, I couldn't walk at all unless I had a wall to balance against.

I couldn't eat much, because I was easily nauseated from the room spinning. I couldn't drive or walk up or down stairs.

There's more to it, but I hope you're starting to get the idea.

FWIW: This is the woman who's going to be your MIL for years and years, and who will be the grandmother to your children. So yes, I think having thoughts of strangling her is bad, and not at all amusing.

But good luck in your wedding planning.

AutumnFair · May 2011

I believe most people know what vertigo is, that's why it was kind of weird for you to describe it to us.

As for your FMIL, I can only sympathize in the sense of she is a person with a mental illness that doesn't want to take her meds which is damaging her relationships with her family. Since you are in the medical field you should know that ALL the problems she is causing is probably due to not being mentally stable, she could be a totally different person if she could regularly take her meds.

If your FI is up to it he needs to get his siblings together and have a meeting with her about her behavior. They need to tell her that the way she is acting is going to drive them away and if she doesn't wake up soon and start taking her meds to stablize her that your FI will be very reluctant to come see her in the future because he behavior is unacceptable.

As for her criticizing your wedding. Do NOT share information with her. If she asks about something give a general answer and change the subject.

FYI, deleting your post is not very proper and also draws a crowd usually to others to see what the drama is about.

vicki0508 · May 2011

You look ridiculous when you delete things and people have quoted you. You come off looking like a cry baby.

Muffin'sMom · May 2011

I will only repeat that you will be related to this woman until she dies. It might be good to practice how to tolerate her in your life.

cmanz937 · May 2011

The reason I "deleted" this post is because I realized that this isn't a bunch of brides (and moms) here to support one another. Its a bunch of ruthless women looking to attack one another to make themselves feel better. I am new to this whole posting thing so I didn't realize that I was "quoted". I came here to vent seeing as how I do NOT want to stress out the man I love more than his mother already does. I figured I could because I see that other people have already done that in here before me, and to be honest, some are way more ruthless than I am. Yes, I was harsh, but I was angry! This woman makes my life hell... but I don't expect any of you to understand. This is my last post with theknot.com because I refuse to be part of a cult of snobby women.

To all of those people that provided suggestions, thank you! I will definitely take everything that was said into consideration. Best of luck to all of you in your wedding planning!

Cynthia1207 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_having-thoughts-of-strangling-fmil-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:699d8929-cf63-4095-9744-56cade680d43Post:39c38399-052b-4375-8222-ae4acd840e00">Re: Deleted</a>:
[QUOTE]The reason I "deleted" this post is because I realized that this isn't a bunch of brides (and moms) here to support one another. Its a bunch of ruthless women looking to attack one another to make themselves feel better. I am new to this whole posting thing so I didn't realize that I was "quoted". I came here to vent seeing as how I do NOT want to stress out the man I love more than his mother already does. I figured I could because I see that other people have already done that in here before me, and to be honest, some are way more ruthless than I am. Yes, I was harsh, but I was angry! This woman makes my life hell... but I don't expect any of you to understand. This is my last post with theknot.com because I refuse to be part of a cult of snobby women. To all of those people that provided suggestions, thank you! I will definitely take everything that was said into consideration. Best of luck to all of you in your wedding planning! :)
Posted by cmanz937[/QUOTE]

All people said was that you should try to find a way to get along with her and you're calling them snobby? That doesn't make any sense.

Obviously we can't understand EVERYTHING you're going through. We don't know you so our answers are unbiased and based on what you write. You got answers and you didn't like them. TK isn't a place where everyone is going to say ''Oh poor thing. You're most definitely right'' No, we'll try to give you advice that actually helps. If you can't handle it, then maybe you should lurk a little and see what actually goes on and how the girls on here respond. Running away after receiving responses you don't like isn't a solution.

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