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If a good friend asks why they are not in the wedding

LittleRandallLittleRandall
10 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I have already chosen my bridal party. Keeping it small and simple. I have my best friend of 20yrs as my maid of honor, my niece, a close cousin and friend/soon to be family FI brothers girl friend. I know that these girls will be there for me the whole time and help me when I need it. I can count on them for sure. These girls represent me so its a big choice. So I have this good friend who I have only know for a few years. Don't get me wrong I love her to pieces and we have gotten close. I just know the question is going to come up, "why am I not in the wedding?" I am just not sure how to answer that. I don't want to hurt her feelings. Any suggestions?
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Re: If a good friend asks why they are not in the wedding

  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Just be honest.  Tell her you love her and she's a great friend but you're keeping your WP as family only and your best friend of 20 years.  If she keeps prodding just change the subject.  It's not like you are in the awkward position of having not asked her for someone you barely know or someone you just recently became close friends with so she really ought to understand. 
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    So you're worried that she MIGHT ask?

    If she did, it would be pretty rude of her.  Do you really think she would come out and ask you why you didn't pick her?   If so, then just say what NOLA sugeested.

    I mean, obviously you get to pick who is in your WP,  but is there some reason you don't want her to be a bridesmaid?  You don't have to have even numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen.   Have you thought about asking her to help in some other way?   Maybe as a reader?

    I tend to think that adult women are mature enough to handle not being picked as a friend's bridesmaid, so you really don't need to ask her to do ANYTHING if you don't want to, and she should be able to deal with it.   
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  • kennazebrowskykennazebrowsky
    100 Comments
    I'm not in my good friends wedding and she is in mine. Never brought it up and I figure I won't. I was a little hurt since we have known each other half our lives but I know it doesn't mean she doesn't care
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  • shlee2484shlee2484 member
    First Comment
    My close friend since kindergarten actually did have the nerve to e-mail me and ask not why she wasn't asked but why I chose my two college roommates over her and basically said that she knew it was my day and my decision but still wanted a detailed reason of why I didn't ask her... needless to say it was SUPER rude and awkward. I just told her that I still consider her a great friend and a big part of my life but that my fiance and I chose our WP together and chose people who meant something to our relationship (we met in college and both of us are WAY closer to my college friends). I also let her know that if I could have had all of my best girlfriends in it I would but he only wanted 4 and I wanted the same on each side and I also wanted friends AT my wedding not just IN it. Hope that helps with answers you could give!
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