Wanting to walk alone down the isle

Kpowers92 · May 2011

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but I do not want him to walk me down the isle. We are having a very "us" wedding and that means no bridal party either. I want to walk myself down the isle. How do I tell my dad this without hurting his feelings?

Lisa50 · May 2011

Do you think your father assumes he is escorting you down the aisle? If so, then the sooner you tell him your plans, the better. I'm not sure what language to use, but I'm a fan of a very non-dramatic, matter-of-fact approach. Good luck!

KelaRenee · May 2011

Hey Dad, I just wanted to let you know that since we aren't having a wedding party or anything, I was planning on walking myself down the aisle. I'm really looking forward to our father/daughter dance though!

aegrish · May 2011

Just tell him. If he's hurt, consider letting him walk you down. That's a HUGE honor that a lot of dad's look forward too for a long time. If you're not very close I understand where you are coming from though.

mary9449 · May 2011

Unless your dad assumes he's walking you down the aisle, I would even bring it up or give him any reason to think he's going to. Just be straight forward and tell him, without making him think it's personal against him.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2011

Uh, yeah. I also wanted to walk by myself. I never did find a way to tell my dad and the day before my wedding I found out he really REALLY wanted to walk me down. So I let him. I'd be careful about your dad's feelings and try to get his opinion on the subject - weddings are important for parents too. But good luck!

arwo · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wanting-walk-alone-down-isle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9662c296-4b56-482b-ac7c-fb973a680ac7Post:83d0c1e2-ed81-4139-8f2c-eb16f133bea9">Re: Wanting to walk alone down the isle</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, yeah. I also wanted to walk by myself. I never did find a way to tell my dad and the day before my wedding I found out he really REALLY wanted to walk me down. So I let him. I'd be careful about your dad's feelings and <strong>try to get his opinion on the subject - weddings are important for parents too.</strong> But good luck!
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This seems like a good idea to me. I knew I wanted to walk by myself, but I also knew my father wouldn't be hurt by it. My dad and I are pretty close, so I told him (candidly) that I planned on walking by myself and he just laughed and said he figured as much. Like you, I love my father; I just didn't want to be "given away."

If you're not sure whether his feelings will be hurt, try to get an idea about how he feels before you make any annoucements about it.

em105 · May 2011

Mmmm. Tell me if you figure out a polite, tactful way to do this.

My father and I are not particularly close and aside from my moderate obsession with "The Sound of Music" (ya know, Maria totally walks alone down the aisle) and my feelings that this is a merger betwen two consenting parties, not a "thank god I've got somebody to marry my daughter off to" moment, I don't think he's earned it. I need to tell him this while not totally ticking him off.

I'm probably going to go with the feminist/slightly humorous angle when I break it to my father. Initially, I wasn't willing to do a father daughter dance either, but heck, that's not a huge issue to me and I'd be willing to take one for the team to ensure peace within the family.

By the way, I now just feel that I need to clarify that the Sound of Music thing was a joke although it was my favorite movie as a kid. I'm very much the 'diffuse it with a little humor' girl.

Good luck everybody! Enjoy the journey.

Bride2be110511 · May 2011

My dad and I didn't have a relationship until I was in my early 20's. Since then, we have become closer, but when he puts his hand on my shoulder, or we hug, it can be very awkward. Just because I didn't really have a relationship with him until I was older, I was never "daddy's girl", I still wouldn't deny him the honor of walking me down the aisle. This is a huge deal for a father. I asked my dad to pick a song for our father/daughter dance, and he said, "I don't care about it, you pick the song." So I picked "A song for my daughter" by Ray Allaire. When my dad heard it he was VERY quiet. I said, "So what do you think?" He said, "Yeah, that's cool." My dad also tried to talk me out of having a wedding locally. He wanted us to have a DW. He said that its all a gimmick and costs a lot of money. I should buy a house, or travel to somewhere exotic for the amount of money a wedding costs. 6 months left, I should have took him up on his advice! But through the grapevine, I've heard he is so excited, and is so proud to be able to walk his only daughter down the aisle. (I have a younger bro too...) This makes me happy though. He'll never tell me that he is proud of me, or how happy he is for me, but a little thing like this means the world for him. Actions speak louder than words.
And really, when you think about it, its JUST a walk... is it really a big deal to not have your dad to be a part of that walk?

jazzybacc · May 2011

Just curious, who are you having sign your marriage docs? Never seen someone w/o at least a MOH and BM so I'm not sure how that would work. Good luck with your Dad. He loves you and he will understand.

Kpowers92 · May 2011

I appreciate everyone's opinions. I think everyone's advise and thoughts will help me immensely.

Wanting to walk alone down the isle

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