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September 2012 Weddings

Yet another guest list annoyance with FI's side

FI's family is huge so we decided on his aunts and uncles and first/second cousins he's actually knows (most he doesn't).  So I have no clue who these people are and just kinda went with what FMIL and FI said were necesssary.  Well FMIL just forwarded me an email from her niece (someone we thought was an aunt so when FI had no clue who she was he didn't fight it) saying her first name is mispelled!  Besides being horribly embarrassed (although I spelled it as given to me) I thought "Oh she's not even a close enough first cousin to contact FI directly."  Then I read the email.  The reason her name was misspelled is because she legally changed it....TEN YEARS AGO!  FMIL had no idea and FI doesn't even know who she is.  How did close and necessary relatives turn into someone you obviously haven't spoken to in 10 years???  And, she oddly responded yes.  I don't think I'd go to a wedding in 10 years of people who still thought I went by my maiden name (as an example).  Ugh it is too late now because they got an invite and RSVP'd. Let's just hope they are fun to party with and/or bring a good gift (not the point I know...yes, I'm being crude in my frustration but I do hope they are at least awesome people since I'll have no clue who they are...nor will FI....or his parents apparently).

Re: Yet another guest list annoyance with FI's side

  • haha, i have the same problem are guest list was only suppose to be 100 (really only wanted 90), while my fiance's mother was appalled. She needs to invite second cousins blah blah so we are at 120, she has said they won't come but theyll send gifts. Well so far Ive only had one decline from his side. He doesn't even know who they are he said, he won't know half the people on his side!!! Why invite them!!!! I know every single person on my side, they are all my close family and friends.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_yet-another-guest-list-annoyance-with-fis-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:81a62f27-e148-430a-bd20-d5d57b06bc7bPost:8e0a272d-07fd-400d-9fab-3c8f925e314c">Re: Yet another guest list annoyance with FI's side</a>:
    [QUOTE]haha, i have the same problem are guest list was only suppose to be 100 (really only wanted 90), while my fiance's mother was appalled. She needs to invite second cousins blah blah so we are at 120, she has said they won't come but theyll send gifts. Well so far Ive only had one decline from his side. He doesn't even know who they are he said, he won't know half the people on his side!!! Why invite them!!!! I know every single person on my side, they are all my close family and friends.
    Posted by mck776[/QUOTE]

    Exactly what FMIL said!  "But they will give a nice gift and won't come."  That was at first then when we sat down later to get who would and wouldn't come, all of a sudden 99% were going to come.  Uhh!  Then when she tried to add more people saying they won't come with a gift we finally told her we don't care about gifts we just want to invite people who will actually add to our day (it was too late for the 50  of FI's family members on our 160 person list).  I normally get along with FMIL just fine but this wedding is killing me.  My entire side is only 63 people (all OOT) compared to FI's 50 family members (most within a 2 hour drive).  I know and regularly talk to all of my side minus a few friends serious boyfriends who I don't know that well.  His side has had a few declines we weren't expecting so I just hope that keeps happening.  We are trying to find a way not to go around to tables (or all of the tables) though so there's no awkward as sh!t moment where neither of us know who the person is.
  • All of this is why my guest list is at....See below Yell
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
  • I'm actually a little envious of you all .... somehow .... our guest list got to 375 people. I wanted a small wedding, but FI's family is all local and HUGE! There are people FMIL made us/me feel bad for not inviting and she's so hard to say no to because there is very little she has asked for. AND FI is on staff at our church, so he wanted to invite all the people we are "close" too, which jumped the number up a bunch too. Everytime we check the mail, I hope for more no's ... so far only 160 have said yes, and bunches still haven't RSVPed. This guest list has been my biggest wedding stress of all.

    Already there are people who RSVP and I read the names off and FI says, "who is that?" ... Ummm .... they are his mom's cousin's kids (does that make them second cousins?) Sheesh ....
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