Bachelor Party - Tell Me It'll Be Ok

pattib5 · March 2012

So my FI's brother is planning his bachelor party for the night before our rehearsal dinner. The reason for the late date of the party is because my FI's BFF can't fly in from NYC any earlier than that. Once the BFF is in, they're all headed from here (Phoenix) to San Diego and then coming back the morning of our rehearsal dinner, which is still another two hour drive from our house.

I'm having nightmares of The Hangover running through my head. My FI is totally responsible, but his brother kind of isn't responsible and tends to get in trouble. Someone please tell me they'll all be back on time and not too hungover! I need someone else to tell me it'll all be ok.

achiduck · March 2012

Do you trust your FI to make responsible decisions? If so then you have nothing to worry about.

pattib5 · March 2012

Thanks <a href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=9592297319352272&plckUserId=9592297319352272" target="_blank" class="username_knot">achiduck </a>!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bachelor-party-tell-me-itll-be-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:305648c9-299e-41c1-b871-406b7ceac7bePost:e85744fa-84e6-4dda-8181-3e755a698d2f">Re: Bachelor Party - Tell Me It'll Be Ok</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bachelor Party - Tell Me It'll Be Ok : I don't think anyone can tell you that. I doubt it'll turn into The Hangover, but if your FI plans on going out and having a good time he may not be home when you would like him to be and he may be hung over for the RD. This is why I wouldn't suggest having the bachelor party the day before any important events.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
Well aren't you a debbie downer? lol The date of the bachelor party won't change, otherwise there just won't be a bach party, because it just wouldn't be right to have it without my FI's BFF (also our officiant).

I realize none of you KNOW for sure that it'll be ok and that he'll be home on time, but I was looking for some mindless support on this one. Because I KNOW having it the night before the rehearsal is a bad idea, but there's just nothing I can do about it. Guess I came to the wrong place. ;)

At least I do trust my FI to be smart about it.

MiksChick23 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bachelor-party-tell-me-itll-be-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:305648c9-299e-41c1-b871-406b7ceac7bePost:4333f1ec-246a-4991-8fad-3c94c0c2e103">Bachelor Party - Tell Me It'll Be Ok</a>:
[QUOTE]So my FI's brother is planning his bachelor party for the night before our rehearsal dinner. The reason for the late date of the party is because my FI's BFF can't fly in from NYC any earlier than that. Once the BFF is in, they're all headed from here (Phoenix) to San Diego and then coming back the morning of our rehearsal dinner, which is still another two hour drive from our house. I'm having nightmares of The Hangover running through my head. My FI is totally responsible, but his brother kind of isn't responsible and tends to get in trouble. Someone please tell me they'll all be back on time and not too hungover! I need someone else to tell me it'll all be ok.
Posted by pattib5[/QUOTE]

OP, I would have a nice chat with your FI about your expectations. My FI's bach party is not the weekend of my wedding, but we still had this chat. You need to discuss what you are comfortable with and, because he loves and respects you, he should honor your requests (assuming that they are not unreasonable, in which case the two of you can compromise.)

direy25 · March 2012

So what happens if he does show up hungover to the rehearsal dinner? I was more hungover at our RD than he was (both our parties were the night before). It was fine. I felt much better after my first beer.

ilovedresses · March 2012

It will be okay. San Diego is pretty tame and you trust your FI, right?

lyndausvi · March 2012

My DH's b-party was the night before the rehearsal. Which was also the night before his 8am golf tournament with 30+ guys including my dad and his friends.

Was he hung over? YEP. It was not a problem for me. He was the one who had to walk around the hot sun playing golf on a few hours sleep.

Unless the rehearsal is early in the morning I would not worry about it.

RailWayWife · March 2012

10

What do you care if he is hung over or not? Let him go out & have fun without worrying about it. He is a grown man I am sure he can take care of himself.

Avion22 · March 2012

Any chance you can talk with his brother (or anyone else who is going who you trust, other than your fiance) and ask them to try to keep things in check? Obviously you should talk to your fiance as well, but having someone else know your concerns might help keep things from getting too out-of-control.

lalaweddingdiva · March 2012

Don't get involved with his brother and be his mommy by telling him to "keep things in check". I have brothers and am often considered "one of the guys" among my male friends. Trust me when I say that sort of thing is embarrassing for him and they're gonna make fun of him and you while they're out if u do something like that Not that i think u will actually do this, do not listen to avions advice, Dictating what kind of night he should have or intervening with his friends will only make u look insecure and pathetic. Whenever my FI goes out with his friends, I let him be and don't bother him. Sure enough, he calls and checks in and always misses me. The less you call and annoy him the more he's going to miss u, think how great you are and actually WANT to be responsible by getting back on time. If he's hungover at RD who cares? Its not night before wedding and it will be fine. Being laid back will cause FI and his friends to talk about how cool and fun u are and how lucky he is because most women would have tried to control bachelor party. Remember, FI loves you and decided to marry you and he will do what's right to make ou happy. If it makes u feel better, casually mention u don't want either of u to look hungover in rd photos and leave it at that.

Avion22 · March 2012

I guess I didn't word that well. It's one thing to say, "Hey Jim, I don't care if you guys come back hungover, just please make sure that you're all back in time for the rehearsal" and something else to go whining to your fiance's friends to make sure he's a perfect angel all night. I wasn't suggesting the whiney part.

freebread03 · March 2012

I'm just thinking this sounds like a ton of driving--they're driving back from San Diego the day of the rehearsal dinner? Does that mean they are driving there the day before just to be there for the night? That's what, at least 6 hours from Phoenix?

LesaAdams · March 2012

I am sure things will be fine. I mean he loves you and you love him. He knows how important this is. Just have faith for this event. Everything will happen as it is supposed to. He will have a good time and hopefully come back renewed and happy to spend time at the rehearsal dinner, with his sweet bride. If it was me I would sit down ONCE with him and tell him all the fears I was experiencing and let him reassure me. Then totally stay out of his time with his friends-not call once and watch him be back right on time. Don't let them see ya sweat girl. It's gonna be fine. By the way, the world won't end if he is late for the rehearsal dinner will it? I don't even understand the rehearsal dinner at this point. I am not planning one and I really don't want the extra expense. I can see if it is actually meant for rehearsing somthing but from what I hear it isn't like that. Fill me in.

ChristineNB · March 2012

I don't think anyone on this site can assure you that the Bachelor Party will go ok or not. I think you should stop worrying about it, and that if you trust your future husband it should be ok. I personally would not have the bachelor party the night before the rehersal dinner, too much chance he could get stuck in traffic, be hung over, etc.

Ginabean42712 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bachelor-party-tell-me-itll-be-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:305648c9-299e-41c1-b871-406b7ceac7bePost:db00d2bc-dfb9-43a8-8f6e-02278eb947b6">Re: Bachelor Party - Tell Me It'll Be Ok</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Don't get involved with his brother and be his mommy by telling him to "keep things in check". I have brothers and am often considered "one of the guys" among my male friends. Trust me when I say that sort of thing is embarrassing for him</strong> and they're gonna make fun of him and you while they're out if u do something like that Not that i think u will actually do this, do not listen to avions advice, Dictating what kind of night he should have or intervening with his friends will only make u look insecure and pathetic. Whenever my FI goes out with his friends, I let him be and don't bother him. Sure enough, he calls and checks in and always misses me. The less you call and annoy him the more he's going to miss u, think how great you are and actually WANT to be responsible by getting back on time. If he's hungover at RD who cares? Its not night before wedding and it will be fine. Being laid back will cause FI and his friends to talk about how cool and fun u are and how lucky he is because most women would have tried to control bachelor party. Remember, FI loves you and decided to marry you and he will do what's right to make ou happy. If it makes u feel better, casually mention u don't want either of u to look hungover in rd photos and leave it at that.
Posted by lalaweddingdiva[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I completely agree. I am the same type of girl. If you do have a talk with his brother all your Fi's friends will totally rip on both you and him. I know you are concerned, but just leave things alone, and let your Fi have fun and be with his friends and enjoy his bachelor party. I am sure in the end things will work out!</div>

christibarsalou · March 2012

me personally, if you dont trust him why are you getting married? not to sound crappy but i trust my fi completely. now i may not trust his friends but he has a good head on his shoulders so i dont worry bout him. if you do have some issues with it suggest doing a party together for you and him. thats what we decided to do because i told him im worried bout his friends getting so messed up he got the crap end of the deal as far as tring to get home cuz guess who hed have to call. yep me. so to cut out all the bs see if they are willing to do a together party.

clafond15 · March 2012

My FI's bachelor party will be the night before our rehearsal dinner as well for similar reasons. My FI's best man lives across the country and cant make it in for an earlier event, same thing happened for BM's wedding a year ago. Im so not worried. Im not sure about yours but my rehearsal wont be until later in the evening, so if he's still hungover by then then ill know he had a great night haha. I wouldnt worry about any The Hangover moments and i agree with PP's, talk about it with your FI but id leave his friends out of it, he's a big boy and can get himself back on time for something as important as your RD all on his own. So to sum up, calm down, it will be fine and wish him to have as much fun on his BP as you had/will have on yours!

Maggie0829 · March 2012

They are all adults so don't try to keep anyone "in check". Let your FI have his fun. If he is hungover the next day, oh well. After a gallon of water, a big greasy breakfast and some excedrin he will perk right back up.

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