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Parent Accommodations?

viterboheatherviterboheather
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
What's etiquette when it comes to paying for parental accommodations?

The reason I ask is that my FI has talked about putting up both sets of parents at the Pfister Hotel (in Milwaukee), which isn't cheap. He has mentioned this in front of them and I kind of quickly said that we would have to look at the budget.

My parents are paying for a majority of the wedding, and his parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner. We are just starting out...I started working as a nurse this month and he is in grad school, so we don't exactly have a ton of money to throw around. It is looking like we will be overbudget, so I will be paying for all of that. And I hate to be selfish, but it's looking like we might not even have the money for a honeymoon and I would like to at least go on a little get-away in the state or something!

Please let me know what you guys think!
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Re: Parent Accommodations?

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    Brie2010Brie2010 member
    First Comment
    Our parents paid for their own accomodations.  It would be nice if you could pay for them, but it's not at all required.
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    CLSchrammCLSchramm member
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    It sounds like you should probably know both sets of parents' budgets since they are both working with you on wedding events. If you're worried they won't have enough to pay for their own rooms, putting them up for the night in a hotel is a kind gesture. It doesnt even have to be the fanciest hotel in town, just whatever fits Your budget.

    That being said, if your parents(s) are both able to afford their own lodgings, I wouldn't worry about it. Just remind your Fi of your short budget and don't bring it up again in front of the family. I'm sure they don't actually expect you to put them up for the night.
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    rknox88rknox88
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    If your parents can afford their own rooms there is no need for you two to pay for them.  It would be a nice gesture but only if you had the extra money. I am sure none of the parent figures in your lives would want to cause a burden on your financially.

    That being said, if you forsee them struggling to pay for their accommodations try to cut back on other areas of the wedding to help them with their guest rooms.  Cutting a few guests from the guest list or scaling back the catering would probably give you the extra money to pay for their rooms.
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    mandybear7mandybear7
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    I would have a talk with FI about this. Why is he offering to pay, when he isn't going to be the one paying? Yes, I know that your money is his money after you get married, but he can't just offer to pay for things without at least consulting with you first.

    Neither us nor our parents are paying for rooms, since our reception is located at a hotel and they threw in complimentary rooms. But, unless we offered to pay for the rooms as a gift, our parents would pay for themselves.
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
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    Are you setting up a room block at a specific hotel for out of town guests? My parents are just staying at the hotel we blocked. They get a better price than they normally would. They are paying themselves. (We are paying for our own room in the same hotel.)
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    pooh8402pooh8402
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    our parents paid for their own rooms. in fact, I don't think I've ever heard of the B&G paying for parental accommodations, except maybe for a DW.
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    viterboheatherviterboheather
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    Thanks! I agree that it would be nice, but neither set of parents should have any problem paying. I think I do just need to remind Fi/ make him more aware of the budget; he has also talked about opening up a bar tab for the bridal party and parents...even though we are having free beer, wine, and soda!

    We will have a block of rooms...just not quite that far yet!
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