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Pre-Cana

MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
in Catholic Weddings
Good morning -

My FI and I will be doing our first pre-cana session this Saturday.  We will be doing the Transformed in Love program being run by the Boston Archdiocese.

I am not Catholic - FI is.

Does anyone have any knowledge of this program and can you help me understand what to expect?

Thanks.

 

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Re: Pre-Cana

  • OuachitaTrixieOuachitaTrixie
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We just did ours a few weeks ago.  It was AWESOME!  I was really dreading it but it was actually a really good thing.  Basically it cleared the air on one sticky subject (for us) and then re-affirmed our opinions on other subjects.  It was nice leaving feeling "yup, we're totally going to be the perfect couple!"

    Ours was in sections.  At each section the leaders would talk a bit, then we filled out worksheets individually, then we compared with our spouse-to-be.  They gave us time to talk out any issues (privately).  Then on to the next subject! We also took our sheets home with us so we could continue further discussions if needed.

    the Sections (that I remember)
         Finances
         communication
         Parenting
         NFP
         Married Love (sex)

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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:556d66db-ec29-4200-a61a-510b5aaff121">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]We just did ours a few weeks ago.  It was AWESOME!  I was really dreading it but it was actually a really good thing.  Basically it cleared the air on one sticky subject (for us) and then re-affirmed our opinions on other subjects.  It was nice leaving feeling "yup, we're totally going to be the perfect couple!" Ours was in sections.  At each section the leaders would talk a bit, then we filled out worksheets individually, then we compared with our spouse-to-be.  They gave us time to talk out any issues (privately).  Then on to the next subject! We also took our sheets home with us so we could continue further discussions if needed. the Sections (that I remember)      Finances      communication      Parenting      NFP      Married Love (sex)
    Posted by OuachitaTrixie[/QUOTE]

    Ours had similar sections.  We found that after 8 years together, we'd already discussed everything they wanted us to discuss.  Between that and getting like a 98% on our FOCCUS survey, we were all like "We are so ready to get married, and the Church agrees!"  It was a nice affirmation of what we thought we already knew :).
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  • OuachitaTrixieOuachitaTrixie
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    isn't it sweet?!  Our only suprise was a small one.  It turns out I break one of the rules on how to fight fair.  I have since made an effort to not do that.  aaand we've had lots of practice since we're planning our wedding together!  haha! 

    We've been together 5 years.  I hear ya!
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Most Pre-Cana programs discuss the same basic topics: finances, families of origin, communication, sex/intimacy, NFP. Generally, these sessions are not particularly theological/religious, but are more practical married-life skills based (in fact, my diocese calls these married life skills classes). For some couples this is good, for others it is a shortcoming of these programs.

    Every one of our topics came back to communication, which is very important. If you and your FI have already communicated about all of this, great. If not, now is a great time to start. Regardless, it was nice for us focus on marriage and on God for a day, even though we had already had all the conversations they were asking of us.

    You will probably find other mixed-faith couples in attendance, so your FI need not feel uncomfortable or pressured.
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:1fcad0cf-e6e6-4c93-8d03-377a08cb0343">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]Most  You will probably find other mixed-faith couples in attendance, so your FI need not feel uncomfortable or pressured.
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    Just to clear up any confusion - he's Catholic, I'm not.

    Thanks for the feedback.  We haven't done the FOCCUS survey yet; but we've discussed all those issues already - we've been together for 10 years.

     

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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:9879e784-a08f-4908-a78f-721dd0766089">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-Cana : 
    we've been together for 10 years.
    Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

    Then you probably have nothing to worry about <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:180f60d1-8dc9-4818-b39a-7b0cf0d73159">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-Cana : Then you probably have nothing to worry about
    Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

    Maybe that's why we haven't done the FOCCUS yet...

     

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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:de0d7ae9-289a-49d0-8445-97a5408140e5">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-Cana : Maybe that's why we haven't done the FOCCUS yet...
    Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

    Eh, you've got quite the good head start!  Do you have your priest already and stuff?  He's the one who will administer the FOCCUS if your diocese requires it.
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2011
    We do.  We've been meeting with the priest every couple of months since September or October of last year.  Because of where we live and the time of year we are getting married (heavy tourist area) - some things had to be finalized early.

    He asked us to have the Pre-Cana finsihed by the end of 2011 and this was the first available of this particular program.

    He also asked to get/read certain sections in the Catechism.  Our current "homework" is re: the Saints.

    I am actually enjoying our meetings with him - its been very education and informative for me.  Many of the misconceptions I had about the Catholic Church have been corrected.

     

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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:f4f6cc7d-d191-4daf-8b1c-c9f85211c84d">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]We do.  We've been meeting with the priest every couple of months since September or October of last year.  Because of where we live and the time of year we are getting married (heavy tourist area) - some things had to be finalized early. He asked us to have the Pre-Cana finsihed by the end of 2011 and this was the first available of this particular program. He also asked to get/read certain sections in the Catechism.  Our current "homework" is re: the Saints. I am actually enjoying our meetings with him - its been very education and informative for me.  Many of the misconceptions I had about the Catholic Church have been corrected.
    Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

    Yay :).  Glad you're getting something out of it!  Best of luck!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:ed6c3964-868a-456b-a27c-782d81e3982dPost:9879e784-a08f-4908-a78f-721dd0766089">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-Cana : Just to clear up any confusion - he's Catholic, I'm not.
    Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

    That's what happens when you read too fast! In that case, there shouldn't be any discomfort for you. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

    From what you've added since I was here last, it sounds like things will go great for you! :)
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  • csh96csh96 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our Pre Cana had the same sessions at those listed above.  I got more out of hearing the personal experiences of others.  The one thing I enjoyed the most and will always remember is a little speech/presentation one couple did.  They made us stand up, face each other and hold hands.  They then proceeded to read a story about each of us as couples.  They are started off as we are engaged couples, moved on to kids (FI and I laughed when they said he was the soccer coach and she is cheering from the sideslines - it will be the opposite for us!), growing older ("he's losing his hair and she is a little rounder"), and finally our elderly days.  It almost made me tear up and was so meaningful.
    image &nbsp ? image
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