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No Wedding Party?

nattykinsnattykins member
10 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
We would rather have no one stand with us on our wedding day - just me, FI and the minister. We are planning to have a fairly traditional chapel wedding but for me, I feel that having bridesmaids and flowergirls/ring bearers is often a waste of time and money to people and for him, he has too many close friends to have a reasonable wedding party.

We have asked two people (our best friends) to be witnesses and his closest military friends to provide us with our sword arch.

Has anyone else done this? Were there upset friends/family to deal with? Is there a traditional reason for a wedding party?

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Re: No Wedding Party?

  • MelissaAnne88MelissaAnne88 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I think it's perfectly fine. You have completely valid/logical reasons for wanting to not have a BP - and even if you didn't, it's your decision! If you and your FI agree on it, I say go for it!
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    It's your decision, and you have very valid reasons, it is really a personal choice for your FI and you.
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  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    If it's what you and your fiance want, you should do it. 
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  • BeazillaBeazilla member
    100 Comments
    It's fine. We're aren't having a wedding party either. As long as you have two people (or more) to sign as witnesses, you don't need a wedding party.
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  • mary9449mary9449
    100 Comments
    If that is the mutual choice you two made, go for it. It's a day you will remember forever and you should be happy no matter what.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Sounds fine. In my state I didn't even need witnesses, but of course that varies!
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  • jess9802jess9802 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    We're not having a wedding party, either. I am sure two of the 45-50 people who watch the ceremony could be convinced to act as witnesses. The only people who have commented at all on the fact that we're not having a wedding party are my best friend and my FMIL, who is convinced that FI's niece will become the de facto flower girl.

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  • nattykinsnattykins member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:c5fcfa58-5090-4a45-a69a-7e5462bae9daPost:8ee2e5b3-f59e-4131-94c6-ba6c938f46f6">Re: No Wedding Party?</a>:
    [QUOTE] The only people who have commented at all on the fact that we're not having a wedding party are my best friend and my FMIL, who is convinced that FI's niece will become the de facto flower girl.
    Posted by jess9802[/QUOTE]

    I've already had that problem - FI's grandmother has already "put foward" his twin 5-year old sisters to be flowergirls (which would be super-cute, but I also have a niece, so there's 3 flowergirls and that would get out of hand). She can get pushy... I'm so afraid that she'll get the girls to ask me directly or something... that would get awkward!

    We've slowly been letting our plans be known so people won't ask :P
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  • lovemadduxlovemaddux member
    10 Comments
    We opted to have no wedding party too.  It was fantastic.  After watching all my friends have wedding parties-  and disasters!  it was an easy conclusion for us. Basically, we tried to eliminate drama... 
    One note I do have is...
    If you choose not to have a wedding party-  How/Where will you two sit for the reception?  We went with a sweetheart table for just the two of us.  And in theory it was a great idea.  However, it was boring.  We sat there and watched everyone else have a great time.  We didn't expect to feel so alone and secluded as we did.  I would have changed that, but nothing else.
    Good Luck, and always remember it's about you and your future husband (and no one else!)
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  • Hays2beHays2be
    100 Comments
    We're not having a wedding party. 

    I would have had to decide which daughter to be MOH or if my best friend came it would be her.  I have two good friends here that one would be ok with either choice, but the other would never forgive me if I picked the other.

    FI couldn't decide who he wanted to stand up with him either. 

    It was much easier--and less stressful/dramatic--to just not have a party. Not to mention, no BM/GM gifts.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We're having a teeny, tiny wedding party -- one attendant each, both best men.  My best man is my son (age 18) who is truly a no muss, no fuss kind of guy.  As long as he has his Hugo Boss tuxedo, he's cool.  My fiance's best man is his best friend of almost 50 years who is also a no muss, no fuss kind of guy.  We want to keep it simple.
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  • SteffiCSteffiC
    10 Comments

    We also are not having a wedding party, I wouldn’t worry about family/friends because in the end its your day. And I am sure they will understand, its not that you are excluding anyone.

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