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September 2012 Weddings

Help. I am going crazy.

So I had this dream that everybody fell through for me, and I ended up cooking in my wedding dress, and making it to the alter 30 minutes late with no makeup, food all over my dress, and my hair a mess because I didn't have time to do any of it before the wedding.

It feels like it is coming true.

Problem #1: My SIL (on my side) threw a fit that I didn't have her a job in the wedding, so I made her my Wedding day Coordinator. Everything will already be done by me, she just needs to follow my directions. This would include making sure everything gets finished at the reception venue the morning of, and final touches while we were at the ceremony. She originally didn't want to go to the ceremony because she was sour about my brother not marrying her legally yet. Then decided that she wants to go to the wedding, because maybe she can pressure him to marry her.
Solution #1: She is now an "Attendant" and can handle any last minute issues at the ceremony site. 

Problem #2: I have a detailed timeline that I set up for the day of the ceremony. (Can I say that my main pet peeve is running behind, or unorganized). My SIL, and MOTB were talking about it this weekend, and were scoffing at my schedule. They told me "it's not going to matter, nothing will go as schedule anyways". WOW. Can I hope that it partially will. I understand I have 2 children (4yr/7yr) in the wedding, but jeesh they are always on more of a schedule than I am. (throw me a bone please). I think I will go crazy without a scrict schedule, but now feel ashamed, and don't want to to show/give anybody else the wedding day packet now. Also, If my SIL will be in charge of making sure that everybody is where they are supposed to be, but scoffs at a schedule, will she work as my attendant?
Solution#2:  ???????

Problem #3: BIG ONE. So back when I did my budget, and guest list my mother wanted to invite alot of the family. I wanted around 40. We are doing a hog roast ourselves since there is nobody around that does it, and I was going to have the sides catered which was my argument on why I didn't want a million people. My mother told me "why are you catering just the sides, why don't I just do them since I can't help financially with the wedding". OK. Makes sense. My mother used to own a catering business, so she knows what needs done. Then she could invite some guests. Guest list is 95 now. Plans were made that she would cover the ingrediants, and come cook the day before (our Reception venue has a huge kitchen just for those who rent it). So then, she realized that her bills were tight, and she wouldn't be able to cover the food. OK. I cut some corners on the budget, and I am buying all of the ingrediants the day before because she can't take off to "go shopping". So last weekend, she dropped the last bomb on me: She works as a lunch lady at a school they day she is supposed to cook, and doesn't want to take a personal day because "if she doesn't take it during the school year, she will get $60 for the day next summer". She is now wondering if she can make it to the Wedding rehersal the evening before, and wants me to move the rehersal to the morning of, but we are doing makeup/hair, then pictures, then ceremony. There is no time for the rehersal.
Solution: ??????

FYI: She already said that she couldn't take off from the Bar where she does Karoke for the Bachlorette party, but then took off to do another wedding gig the same night. I even offerred to pay her salary for the night if she really couldn't, but wanted to come.

So now, myself, my MOH, my fiance, his Best man and maybe one more will be going over the day before and decorating the reception venue, and cooking all of the food since the 2 main people in the wedding are letting us down. Don't worry, I can physically do this as I have also catered for my mothers busines many times. Do I have the right to feel like I shouldn't have to do this for my OWN wedding? We were supposed to have 3 more people who were coming with my mother to help cook/decorate, but now they are coming the day of instead since my mother is coming down late the night before. (Did I mention that I already booked them plus my mother hotel rooms the night before the wedding for their help). I have talked to them, and they would come, but are riding with her (it is a 2hr drive for them).

What do I do? I feel like it is all falling in on me?
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Re: Help. I am going crazy.

  • Ps: once I post this all paragraphs and skipped lines and some punctuations will be taken away. I am posting from my phone. I don't know why it does this. But I know ppl hate non paragraph posters. So, I apologize in advance. Wow! You have alot on your plate.I am sorry all this is happening right now. I truly say do the best you can. It seems like you don't have many people you can truly depend on. I also do not think you are wrong in the way you feel. With that being said, I just want to state that you never mentioned anything negative about your FI. This is a wonderful thing girl!!!!! I'm saying that to say....your situation could be so much worse than what it is. Be thankful and prayerful for what you do have. Remember, a wedding is just a party you are hosting for your guests!!! What's important is you and your FI are about to embark on a lifetime commitment together!!! What a blessing!!!! This Is the most important aspect...please set your priorities on this. I do truly understand the stressors you are dealing with. I'll tell you later what happened to me at the end of this! Lol! Back to you: I pray this all works out for you. Please remain positive and speak life into this situation. The tongue is a mighty sword. I will be praying for you. On me: when saying your situation could be worse, let me briefly tell you what happened to me. On last Friday, I woke up with a paralyzed face. I can not eat, I speak funny...my looks have changed. All of a sudden in overnight. We were scheduled to take engagement photos and my bridal shower was on Sunday! Can you imagine how jacked up this is!!! They diagnosed me with Bell's Palsy. I have racked up a ton of medical bills for MRI, CT scans, etc. BUT, you know what has kept me sane, my faith, knowing that the love of my life still sees me as a strong woman having to deal with my new facial features especially for photo ops for the wedding. It just seems like the details of the wedding was insignificant then....what became even more apparent is that I am marrying a wonderful man that is supportive and loves me unconditionally. And I remained prayerful, hopeful and not letting ANYONE OR ANYTHING steal my joy!!!! Now! That triumphs all other stressors I had...kind of like where you are now. So, not to compare situations, but I think you get my point.....it could be so much more worse girl! Stay positive. If you want to talk PM me. Let us know how everything turns out. Cha
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
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