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October 2012 Weddings
Ali092011
member
Getting so stressed out :(
Things were moving along great, we had a meeting with our venue today to choose linens and go over the menu, and we were feeling so excited today.
Then our JOP, who is a friend of the family, announced about an hour ago that he wouldn't be available for our wedding anymore, so we have the added stress of finding someone this late in the game. Yay.
THEN my sister called and said she'd just gotten off the phone with my dad. He casually brought up the fact that I hadn't asked him to walk me down the aisle yet, and she replied, "Ali and Carlos are walking down the aisle together." FI and I made this decision because I had originally wanted both my father and my step-father to walk me down, one on each arm, but my mother was afraid of drama (IF my dad happens to drink that day, he does have a tendency to ruin special occasions), so we made the decision to walk down together. My sister said he seemed a little taken aback, but I think his biggest fear was that I had asked my stepdad instead of him, so he was happy that at least that wasn't the case.
Of course, he then had to ask if I was doing a father-daughter dance. My poor sister knows that I'm really not into a bunch of spotlight dances, but she just said she wasn't sure. He then made a comment that, "I'm not gonna cause problems, it's her day, but if they announce a father-daughter dance and your stepfather stands up and starts dancing with her, I'm going to be upset." I didn't want a father-daughter dance because I suck at dancing and so do both of my fathers, and I don't want to dance with one and not the other, but I also don't want our guests to have to sit through a bunch of spotlight dances. Now I feel obligated to dance with my dad because I'm not allowing him the privilege of giving me away.
This is pretty much the first big obstacle of the whole wedding planning process, and I feel lucky for that, but I hate that my decisions could hurt people. It's a big responsibility.
Any advice?
Then our JOP, who is a friend of the family, announced about an hour ago that he wouldn't be available for our wedding anymore, so we have the added stress of finding someone this late in the game. Yay.
THEN my sister called and said she'd just gotten off the phone with my dad. He casually brought up the fact that I hadn't asked him to walk me down the aisle yet, and she replied, "Ali and Carlos are walking down the aisle together." FI and I made this decision because I had originally wanted both my father and my step-father to walk me down, one on each arm, but my mother was afraid of drama (IF my dad happens to drink that day, he does have a tendency to ruin special occasions), so we made the decision to walk down together. My sister said he seemed a little taken aback, but I think his biggest fear was that I had asked my stepdad instead of him, so he was happy that at least that wasn't the case.
Of course, he then had to ask if I was doing a father-daughter dance. My poor sister knows that I'm really not into a bunch of spotlight dances, but she just said she wasn't sure. He then made a comment that, "I'm not gonna cause problems, it's her day, but if they announce a father-daughter dance and your stepfather stands up and starts dancing with her, I'm going to be upset." I didn't want a father-daughter dance because I suck at dancing and so do both of my fathers, and I don't want to dance with one and not the other, but I also don't want our guests to have to sit through a bunch of spotlight dances. Now I feel obligated to dance with my dad because I'm not allowing him the privilege of giving me away.
This is pretty much the first big obstacle of the whole wedding planning process, and I feel lucky for that, but I hate that my decisions could hurt people. It's a big responsibility.
Any advice?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Getting so stressed out :(
It just hurts that my dad's playing the victim yet again, when he dug his own grave so to speak. I would have been perfectly happy having each of them take an arm and walk me down the aisle, but then my mom pointed out that he absolutely ruined my uncle's wedding years ago when he showed up drunk (he capped off the evening by being arrested for a DUI). She experienced years of him embarrassing her at social events, so I found it hard to discredit her concerns, even though my dad is currently sober.
Thanks again for listening and for putting everything in perspective. It was exactly the boost I needed.