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Problems with MOH

ashwayne03ashwayne03 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I choose my friend/co-worker to be my maid of honor. I was a bridemaid in her wedding 2 years ago and her husband and herself were the ones that introduce me and my fiance. I have 3 other bridemaids which are family (sister-in-law and cousins). I have been having problems with my friend. She has issues with the colors/style of the bridemaids dresses and thinks she should be able to have an opinion because she has to wear the dress. My other 3 bridemaids have no issues and they tell me it's up to me.
So I'm not sure what to do? It's hard because she's also a co-worker of mine. Any suggestions?
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Re: Problems with MOH

  • covejackcovejack
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    She should have an opinion, if she's the one wearing the dress.  You first ask her about budget, then about style.  I suggest you need to be more flexible.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_problems-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a0e4df47-d3b6-45cd-8490-c0b669282d5fPost:3f9556d1-e9e3-4ee0-bdc0-edee87f38868">Problems with MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I choose my friend/co-worker to be my maid of honor. I was a bridemaid in her wedding 2 years ago and her husband and herself were the ones that introduce me and my fiance. I have 3 other bridemaids which are family (sister-in-law and cousins). I have been having problems with my friend. She has issues with the colors/style of the bridemaids dresses and<strong> thinks she should be able to have an opinion because she has to wear the dress.</strong> My other 3 bridemaids have no issues and they tell me it's up to me. So I'm not sure what to do? It's hard because she's also a co-worker of mine. Any suggestions?
    Posted by ashwayne03[/QUOTE]

    Well she SHOULD have an opinion because she IS wearing it. How would you feel if someone else picked out your wedding dress for you with no input from you? Pretty crappy, right?

    Either get the OK from all of them before choosing one dress or give them a bunch of dresses to choose from, so they can pick the one they like best.


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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    She's right. She's wearing and probably paying for it, so you should consider her opinion. It's nice that your other bms are so easy going about it, but could it be that their taste is similar to your's?
                       
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_problems-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a0e4df47-d3b6-45cd-8490-c0b669282d5fPost:3f9556d1-e9e3-4ee0-bdc0-edee87f38868">Problems with MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I choose my friend/co-worker to be my maid of honor. I was a bridemaid in her wedding 2 years ago and her husband and herself were the ones that introduce me and my fiance. I have 3 other bridemaids which are family (sister-in-law and cousins). I have been having problems with my friend. She has issues with the colors/style of the bridemaids dresses and thinks she should be able to have an opinion because she has to wear the dress. My other 3 bridemaids have no issues and they tell me it's up to me. So I'm not sure what to do? It's hard because she's also a co-worker of mine. Any suggestions?
    Posted by ashwayne03[/QUOTE]
    She's absolutely right.



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  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Certainly she gets an opinion.  Like others mentioned, she is paying for it and has to wear it.  If you were spending money on a dress you will most likely only wear once, wouldn't you want it to be a dress that you feel comfortable in? 
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  • eroone0428eroone0428 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She is your MOH, and you asked her to be in your wedding. It's your decision on the colors and what you would like your bridal party to wear, she may not like it, but needs to respect what you want
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  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I do think she should have some say about what she will wear.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I was a BM a few years back.  The bride went out and picked out the BM's dresses without any input (price or style) from her girls.  This pissed me off so much!  I understand that a compromise is needed but the dress made all of us look completely horrible.  I was miserable all day and couldn't wait to go home and take the damn thing off.  She also had all of us wear our hair up (no choice) but didn't offer to pay for it.  She picked shoes that we had to wear but didn't pay for.  All of this is ridiculous.  If you want your BM's to wear certain accessories and have their hair a certain way then the bride should pay for it.

    I feel that your BMs should have say in what they wear since they will be paying for it and will have to wear the dress all day.  They should feel comfortable and beautiful in what they are wearing.  And please do not stress about the shoes/hair/accessories.  No matter what they do they will not outshine you because everyone will know that you are bride.

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  • AnthonyandJennyAnthonyandJenny member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe make one of your bridesmaids the MOH and make your present MOH a bridesmaid and simply explain that due to the dress issues, her bearing a baby, that you feel like you are burdening her with the position and that you still love her and want her to be a part of that big day for you but that you have someone else who has less on thier plate that is more able to do the job for you. Hang in there girly, I understand, with a MOHzilla.
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  • Queen JaneQueen Jane member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_problems-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a0e4df47-d3b6-45cd-8490-c0b669282d5fPost:cbeedbce-9575-4ed9-817c-572533a247bf">Re: Problems with MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe make one of your bridesmaids the MOH and make your present MOH a bridesmaid and simply explain that due to the dress issues, her bearing a baby, that you feel like you are burdening her with the position and that you still love her and want her to be a part of that big day for you but that you have someone else who has less on thier plate that is more able to do the job for you. Hang in there girly, I understand, with a MOHzilla.
    Posted by AnthonyandJenny[/QUOTE]



    No. MOH is not a "job" unless you are giving a salary and 401k. And did I miss something about her being pregnant?

    If your other girls are ok with the dress, why not let the MOH pick a different style in the same color? It's common for the MOH dress to be a little different. I would ultimately take her opinion into consideration b
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