Keeping/hyphenating last name?

Katiediditmom · June 2010

I am leaning towards hyphenating my name. Is anyone else keep their maiden name or hyphenating their name?

If so, how are you having your DJ announce you and your hubbie as you enter the reception hall?

Has anyone gotten any slack about keeping or hyphenating their name? How did you handle it?

smw42 · June 2010

FI's mom hyphenated and as child of a mom with a hyphentated name he absolutely hates it. It makes things unecesarily complicated. I'm taking his paternal last name, not his hyphenated last name, as will our children.

I know that isn't exactly what you're asking but just something to think about.

gymchick05 · June 2010

I will be hyphenating my last name for work purposes only (I do a lot of public/media work and it would get confusing if I switched completely).But for all regular purposes, I will take his last name. So when we get announced it will just be mr. and mrs. his last name

akmackay · June 2010

I thought I would just take his on- but I'm still considering hyphenating. It also annoys DH so it's fun to pester him.

As far as announcing, just keep it Mr and Mrs his lastname regardless of what you do... or just have them say The Newlyweds if you don't want them to say it.

I have gotten slack on even thinking of hyphenating, but I say this is a different time and it's my choice (mainly DH and his parents are annoyed)

kwilkinson14 · June 2010

I was originally thinking about hyphenating my name. But we both have fairly long names so it would become unmanageable after awhile. I have known one or two people who had different last names from their mom (she decided to keep her maiden name). Occasionally it did cause problems with school related stuff. To each their own, I completely understand if people want to keep, hyphenate their names for work purposes or otherwise. For me, I just would like to keep things simple and straightforward.

Laurms15 · June 2010

We were announced Mr. and Mrs. First name and First name Last name (it was important for me to have my name mentioned when were announced)

Katiediditmom · June 2010

Thank you. Your post, as well as others, have given me new persepctive. I am just the last of "my kind" so I was hoping to keep my family name going a little longer.

Thank you to all who replied.

TuffysMommie · June 2010

I think that you are still "Mr. and Mrs. FI'sLastName" as a couple, even if you keep your maiden name for work purposes, for example.

You can hyphenate or just not change your name legally, but still socially be "Mrs. FI'sLastName"

peggyo10 · June 2010

i think we're both hyphenating our names...Mine-His.

At the reception, we'll be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Mine-His.

i don't think there's an ideal/right solution here...hyphenating is unweildy, but i like my name, i don't like the idea of just me changing my name to his, i have a career, but i want us to have the same last name and for our kids and us to have the same last name.

i thought we should just pick a new name, but i think he prefers hyphenating to that option. lol

Katiediditmom · June 2010

Thank you.

My sympathies for your loss. I had to put my Garth to rest 4-17-06. Your Little Man was quite the looker. Something tells me he had a LOT of personality.

It's funny, I have a tattoo of Garth on my left shoulder blade, and people ask me if I am going to cover it up for the wedding. I tell them, he!! no! Garth has always and will always have my back! Why would I cover him up?

melissa82 · June 2010

I kept my name. I think it's crazy that a woman is expected to change her name simply because of her gender.

You could just be introduced as "... the newlyweds, yourfirstname and hisfirstname!"

I don't really get any comments, although I have noticed there are some friends who can't seem to accept it for some reason. One friend insists on addressing me with my husband's last name even though she knows that I didn't change my name and I have said my preference. It's actually really annoying. I am thinking of addressing her by her maiden name to see how she likes it.

reese511 · June 2010

i'm changing mine...mainly b/c i want the same last name as my kids. FI is the last/only one in his family to carry on their last name....so it is a must!

if we do the intro...not sure if we will....we'll do:
Mr & Mrs Groom1stName & Bride1stName LastName

uppereastgirl · June 2010

I kept my last name. I am not a fan of hyphenating generally, and my hyphenated last name would be awful. So I just go by my maiden name.

At the wedding, we had the DJ say "Mr. & Mr. John Hislastname." Which I guess is technically correct anyway? I mean, it isn't like my name is John either... I like what Laurms did though -- that would have been a good option had I thought about it.

I get slack from some people, but whatever. Like Melissa, some friends just don't get it. It is annoying, but I don't care what others get or don't get. I spent 27 years being one name, I don't know why I have to change. I also don't know that my husband ever told his parents that I didn't take his last name (he gets ridiculously concerned about them being offended by/confused by silly things), because I get mail from them to Victoria Hislastname. But whatever.

After a whole life of being called Vicky against my will, I can deal with people being confused about what my last name is

Julephenia · June 2010

Like others, I have professional credits in my maiden name, so I'm keeping it. On a personal level, I'll probably hyphenate - which has FI and his family in hysterics, because the two last names together are 7 syllables. ...And there are only girls left in my dad's family.

jchristel · June 2010

This is a tough one for me. I've lived 38 years with my last name and I happen to like it a lot. I'm also the last one my family with it except for my Dad and some great uncles. I never thought I would change it, but the whole having kids have the same name thing is a sticking point for me. I think I found a good compromise because my last name is also a first name. I've decided to drop my middle name and keep my last name as my "new" middle name. This way all of the people that call me JC still can

NJ Jen · June 2010

I did not change my name when I married the first time, and we were introduced as "For the first time as husband and wife, HerName and HisName."

Keeping your own name makes more sense to me than hyphenating, but I don't begrudge anyone the choice they make.

ETA I had very little trouble having children with a different name. If you think about it, there will probably be MORE confusion that my stepson and I have the same name, but I'm not the #1 parent. People just don't assume anymore, for the most part. Some people would call me "Mrs. HisLastName" when I was at their schools, and I just let it go. When I call, I always give all the last names needed right up front.

kasabby · June 2010

I am going to change my name but I have struggled with it. I come from a big family (on my dad's side) and there are a ton of us--so I don't struggle with carrying on the name but for years, people have always referred to me by my last name, so it will be weird to no longer have that name.

leah2b · June 2010

I am keeping my last name - no hyphenation. I figured we would have the DJ just announce "Mr & mrs. hislast name" just for purposes of the wedding - exactly as uppereast stated above.

sparkles2010 · June 2010

I think hyphenating makes things confusing, and can be long. Perhaps you can use your middle name as your maiden name? I plan on doing that ..

Julephenia · June 2010

Sparkles... that's the "best" part of my name - my first name is the only usable name I've got. Middle and last are both surnames (I've got mom's maiden name), so moving my last name to my middle achieves exactly nothing.

I'm actually looking forward to a super long name. My name already sounds like the WASP from he!!, now it'll have an Anglicized Jewish last name to really screw with people's heads.

jwed2011 · June 2010

smw42 I have the same predicament well its not really a predicament my FH mom's name is hyphenated and his parents divorced so he is really touchy about it he gives me crap all the time but my daddy is so important to me and he passed away and I am an only child so I am hyphenating, but socially i will be known by just his name its just more of a legal personal thing that I will be hyphenting. Same with wedding annoucment MR and MRs his last name but officially i will be hyphenated.

ndulmer · September 2010

I thought about hyphenating for a minute, but realized I would still be changing my name. The whole point for me is that I dont want to change my name, so hyphenating is being hypocritical since its still a change. I only considered it for my fiance but he doesnt care if I keep my name. As for kids, I have 2 brothers, so I have no need to carry on my name so if we have kids they can have my fiances name. My mother has had a different name than me since I was 8 and it was never a problem. Plus, my fiance has kids already and I would want them to have the same last name as their brother and sisters.
For our DJ- I thought about just having them announce us as The Newlyweds, Nicole and Patrick. I dont want them to announce us as Mr and Mrs his name because then it will confuse people.
I am not sure if I am going to do the same thing with the officiant at the end of the ceremony where they usually say " Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr and Mrs ..." But that way may be the only thing I come up with.
Good luck!

Keeping/hyphenating last name?

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