Hi All! Sorry for the long post, I'm mostly just curious whether you consulted with your bridesmaids before picking your date.
I'm having a little bit of trouble with the date that my fiancé and I have picked. Basically, I have always wanted a fall wedding. It worked out quite well because his family can't do spring weddings (his dad, stepmother, and sister all work in the same accounting firm and the spring is their busiest season), and summer weddings would be pretty hot where I live. Moreover, FI and I are both starting new jobs in the fall, so we're actually waiting until fall 2013 to get married (when we will have been working for a year and will feel more comfortable taking time off).
Nothing is firm or paid for yet, but we've picked a date that works with both our families and I am pretty excited about our November wedding. Hooray!! But...
There is one thing giving me trouble- one of my dear college friends, whom I have always sort of assumed would be a bridesmaid (I haven't asked anyone yet since it's so far out), might not be able to come. To give some background on how "close" we are-- I'd say good friends, but not best friends (she's not my MOH). We've known each other since college and I'd consider us pretty close, though we live in different states now so there is that distance.
Anyway, potental BM has accepted a two-year teaching position abroad, starting this summer (so she'll be in the middle of her two years at my wedding). I am SO excited that her dream of doing this is finally coming true, but I knew as soon as she got it that it would probably make it difficult for her to attend my wedding. I'm not entirely sure, but the job isn't highly-paid and she has said things that would indicate she wouldn't be able to afford an international plane ticket (not to mention BM dress, etc.)... (But on the other hand, she has sometimes said that her parents might buy a ticket for her.) When I first got engaged she made a comment that she'd be more likely to come if we did it in the summer, but that I should not plan the date "around her." I got the feeling that she'd like to use her summer break to travel additional places abroad, so there's a chance that she'd be unable to make even a summer wedding.
I guess I'm feeling kind of guilty for making it difficult for her to attend. I am afraid to tell her that we're looking more seriously at an early November wedding.
How much did you weigh the schedules of your potential bridal party? Am I being selfish if we pick a date that is difficult for her to attend? Or should I just pick a date that works for our families and let my friends sort out their schedules as they may? I have only been in one wedding, and the bride didn't ask us what our schedules were, just sort of picked the date. It worked out because we all happened to live in the same city at that time, but now that everyone is spread out, things are so much more complicated!
Thanks in advance for any advice!