What's up with the cookies?

sarilynnep · February 2011

Hi! I'm new here on the boards, but I'm really excited that I now have a place to talk to other Pittsburgh brides :-)

So I just moved to Pittsburgh from Louisville, and everyone here is telling me that my fiance and I HAVE to have a cookie table of some kind. Before moving here I had never heard of people having cookies at weddings, but I was informed that in PA people have lots of cookies at their weddings and set up "cookie bars." As cool as a cookie bar sounds, about 85% of our guests are from out of town, and have never heard of cookies at weddings either. So they won't miss having a cookie bar. Even if we wanted a cookie bar, no one would be able to make all those cookies for us.

Will it be weird for our guests who are from PA to not have a cookie bar? Is this truly even a tradition in Pittsburgh? Some vendors we have checked out talked up about setting up a cookie bar, and when we said we weren't having one they gave us a look like we were crazy. When we talked about a groom's cake they said that was more of a southern tradition, although they had seen couples have grooms cakes. I thought that a lot of people had grooms cakes... but I guess not lol

ginny814 · February 2011

First off, welcome!!

Secondly, yes, the cookie table is a Pittsburgh tradition; I've never been to a Pittsburgh-area wedding that didn't have one. I chuckled at your comment where you said the vendors gave you a strange look when you said you weren't considering having one, haha.

You could do a really small cookie table to introduce your out-of-town guests to the concept, maybe put a framed sign up near it to explain to your guests where it originated and the meaning behind it.

I see that your wedding isn't until next year; most people will bake months and months ahead of time and just freeze the cookies until its time to take them out. Perhaps your Pittsburgh guests can help make some cookies for you since they already know what it is; you can always buy cookies, too. I'm sure your family won't mind, either... that is, if you really want one.

The NY Times did a really great article on the cookie table: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/16/dining/16cookies.html

Good luck and let us know what you decide to do!!

sarilynnep · February 2011

Thanks for the article! Yeah I had no idea about the tradition but the article was very helpful :-)

I would love to do a nice cookie table, but honestly, I don't know if we can do it. We are spending a lot on our venue (Carnegie Music Hall) so buying them is kinda out since I am having to cut other stuff anyways (not to mention store bought are rarely as good). I feel like people in Pittsburgh have cookies EVERYwhere and that everyone bakes them and has their own recipes. Whereas, where I am from, no one really eats cookies that much and the only time they are baked are around the holidays, and then most people (my family in particular) just buy store bought packs. The only people I really know in Pittsburgh are people I work with, and as cool as they are I don't know if I am comfortable asking them to bake things.

There is a chance I might be able to get my fmil to bake some, and possible a future cousin in law who is in pastry school. I might even ask a coworker (who I am friends with and introduced me to what gobs are) to make some in lieu of a gift. But even if they agree to make them, how many cookies would need to be made? I definitely can't do a sprawling table. And when do people eat them? Do they take them home? Do people give them as favors? In Louisville if you get a cookie to take home it's probably a favor of some kind, and you only get one cookie.... So yeah, I guess I'm still a little confused.

How bad would it look it we just forgot the tradition altogether? Since it's not really our tradition anyways...

ginny814 · February 2011

Typically the table is all set up when the reception begins; sometimes families will place a fancy net or tulle on top of the table so people don't start picking at them before dinner (but some people always manage to sneak a few!). Most people will get up after dinner is served/dancing begins and begin eating the cookies. Napkins, small plates, and to-go boxes are placed on the cookie table for guests to use. The idea is that you should never let your guests go home hungry, so they're expected to take the cookies home.

If you didn't originally plan to do the cookie table, it's understandable if you don't want to go through with it. Just expain to the Music Hall event coordinators your situation; I'm sure they would understand. It can be expensive (6-8 cookies/person) and labor intensive; if you feel it's going to be a burden and unnatural for you, then you don't have to do it. Don't feel obligated just because the event coordinators react to you strangely

cgyvhu · February 2011

I am not from Pittsburgh originally either, and most of our guests are from OOT. We are considering doing a cookie table, but may not - I doubt many people will miss it!

allisonkbye · February 2011

definitely a western pa tradition - its what we look forward too when going to weddings lol. but if you have tasty refreshments instead of cookies, i wouldn't miss them

bgfst1 · February 2011

I vote that you do whatever you want - it's YOUR wedding! I, also, have never been to a wedding in the Pittsburgh area or north western PA where there wasn't a cookie table. It could be a really cute way to introduce your OOT guests to Pittsburgh culture! Ha! We're doing a mix of home-baked and bakery purchased cookies. Why don't you talk to the bakery you're getting your cake from to see how much it would be to add on a few dozen cookies (ours are coming from Oakmont Bakery which is where we are also buying the cake)?

And since you mentions a grooms cake, I have also never been to a Pittsburgh wedding/western PA wedding where there was a grooms cake. But in talking to bakeries when looking for a cake, several bakeries did mention they could do a grooms cake, so maybe its gaining popularity?

Another option could just be to create your own tradition! Instead of cookies and grooms cake, you could do an ice cream bar, or cupcake bar, or yogurt parfait station (if you're into healthier options). Do whatever makes you happy

dbpsu18 · February 2011

If it's not something that's important to you, don't do the cookie table. People from out of town won't miss it, and more importantly YOU won't miss it.

gmc22 · February 2011

I agree with PPs regarding the cookie table.... so I just wanted to say HI and welcome to the board!! Hope you post often!

jlbaxter33 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_whats-up-cookies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:d1ccc7d2-791c-4858-bd72-6f7c5cd02977Post:59a60233-3fea-4686-b416-c3dc7c42b63e">Re: What's up with the cookies?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not from Pittsburgh originally either, and most of our guests are from OOT. We are considering doing a cookie table, but may not - I doubt many people will miss it!
Posted by mdphd[/QUOTE]
100 percent disagree! :)

People from the Pittsburgh area will definitely miss them and will talk about the lack of cookies. :)

I couldn't imagine a wedding without the cookie table, and my fiance who is not from here and has never seen a cookie table until my cousin's wedding insisted that there be a cookie table!

I think it is fun, unique and easy. I heart it. Probably because I heart cookies. :)

cgyvhu · February 2011

hah jl I heart cookies too... if my venue didn't charge me to bring in/tray outside cookies, I might consider it.

You have to remember I only went to college in Pittsburgh, and never lived there outside of that or had family there. I think 3 people invited to my wedding are native Pittsburghers... so I'll likely skip the cookie thing. I'm sure those 3 people will protest loudly though

I guess it's a "know your crowd" sort of thing.

sarilynnep · February 2011

Hey Everyone!

Thank you for all the advice. I think it would be cool to do the cookie table, but I am still trying to figure out if it's feasiable... My fiance definitely wants a grooms cake, since that is what shows off his personality. That's why its a tradition in a lot of places (especially the south) since it is the one thing that is about the groom and he can show off his interests by what the cake is (my guy wants to do a led zepplin cake or a cake shaped like a beer pint lol). So if we do add cookies, the grooms cake could be in the middle.

So we are definitely doing a grooms cake through our caterer. Our caterer is Parkhurst, who we have to use at the music hall but I have heard really good things about it. I don't think they could help us with the cookies though.... And if they could I would hate to see the cost of it. I just really really don't know how we could get all these cookies together for our wedding. We really can't afford to buy any, and since it's not a tradition, no one is really willing to make them....

jlbaxter33 · February 2011

MD- Isn't your fiance from Pittsburgh?

My venue charges to tray cookies, but we can do them ourselves. Our plan is to tray cookies while the girls are getting ready, so we'll just switch off.

cgyvhu · February 2011

I am obviously biased to the "no cookies" side, but If you cant afford it, definitely skip it. Your grooms cake ideas sound awesome and if that tradition is more important to you two, go with it.

cgyvhu · February 2011

jl - nope, FI is from Romania originally, but his parents live in CT currently and are moving to Cali soon. I'm from the Philly area. We are getting married in the burgh because we met there in college.

That said, I realize our situation is really weird and MOST weddings that take place in Pittsburgh will have a lot more pittsburgh native guests/family, making the cookie table a more typical/expected thing. I just wouldn't want OP to overextend her budget/stress about it if it's not hers/her group's style.

jlbaxter33 · February 2011

MD- Then you are probably right! People won't miss the cookies.

sarilynnep · February 2011

Can I just say that of all the problems I thought might crop up at our wedding, I certainily didn't expect this one lol....

KimWard · February 2011

My DH lived in Louisville until he was 5. :-) We did a groom's cake and a cookie table- had the cake in the middle on the cookie table. We did 5 cookies per person, but had other favors too (and we did provide take-out containers). As pp said, do whatever is meaningful to you and DH, which sounds like not doing cookies. I wouldn't stress too much about it though!

sarilynnep · February 2011

Ok, so I talked to the fiance about it, and he basically asked why on earth we would do cookies... Lol, so I guess we will be the one couple who doesn't do cookies, which is just fine by us. We really don't want the added cost or stress of trying to get cookies, and considering I don't even like cookies, I won't miss them. I would rather eat cake on my wedding day :-) If I really think about it, I think the majority of our guests won't really eat the cookies at the reception, and will be thinking more about what bar they are going to explore in Pgh then what cookies they would take home.

What's up with the cookies?

Re: What's up with the cookies?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards