Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?

lynzeyk · January 2013

I posted once before and got very helpful replies, so I was hoping you all could help me with another:

My fiance and I are having a small ceremony in Kauai. The following weekend we will have a reception in California with all of our friends. Is it appropriate to wear my gown?

I'm assuming it isn't, because it's generally only worn on the wedding day- but you know- who wants to only wear it once.

Thanks!!

Lynzey

AddieCake · January 2013

I don't think it's appropriate. Your wedding day will have already passed.

tlyn1206 · January 2013

I say yes!! I acutally went to a two weddings that were destinatino weddings and when we came back and had the reception here, they wore their dress again. I say, go for it! Not many brides can wear it twice!

laboelter · January 2013

I think you should do whatever you want to do!!! I have been to recptions after a destination and the bride wore the dress and I didnt think twice about it! Do whatever makes you happy!

Maggie0829 · January 2013

I think it really depends on the dress. If it is a huge princess ballgown with tiara and all then I don't think it is appropriate, but if it is something a bit more simple and slim then I think it is fine.

EDIT: If we had an AHR after a ceremony which took place at an earlier date I definitely would not have thought my dress appropriate to wear again. I would have instead bought a cute white cocktail dress or a long white lace gown in more of a sheath style and had no train.

lynzeyk · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:6095dbb2-87a5-4154-9bff-9f936a7f2e1a">Re: Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Your wedding reception is on your wedding day in Kauai. You didn't say, but if you are having guests, this is where you thank them for coming with a dinner reception. Your event in California is NOT a wedding reception. It is a party to celebrate your marriage. Do not wear your wedding dress, though it's OK to try it on for Grandma to see, and then change into a nice party dress. Do not do any wedding traditions, like bouquet tossing, "first dance" (special dance with your husband is OK), cake cutting ceremony. Just have a lovely time showing off your wedding and honeymoon photos and partying with your nearest and dearest. Kauai is beautiful! Have a wonderful day!
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow, it's poor ettiquite to do a first dance and a cake cutting after a destination wedding? I had no idea... OK Thank you for your advice. I'll take this into consideration. </div>

lynzeyk · January 2013

Thank you all for your input. I think I will err on the traditional side and wear a party dress and not my wedding gown.

SmallenForever · January 2013

I'd wear the dress. It doesn't hurt your guests any for you to wear the dress.

lynzeyk · January 2013

Furthering this topic, should my invitations say "Post-Wedding Celebration" instead of "Reception"? Or what is the accurate title for this event? I'm so confused now. Glad I found out now though...

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:5dd19f8e-38d1-49c9-93e3-219fdb87e1e6">Re: Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Furthering this topic, should my invitations say "Post-Wedding Celebration" instead of "Reception"? Or what is the accurate title for this event? I'm so confused now. Glad I found out now though...
Posted by lynzeyk[/QUOTE]

"You are cordially invited to the Marriage Celebration of Mr. and Mrs. Lynzeyk" or something like that.

I think using "reception" in your invite wording is fine because you are receiving guests at your party. The word "reception" isn't just used for weddings.

lynzeyk · January 2013

Those are great suggestions. Thank you.

virtualdrummer · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:e1dab61a-8f44-4e08-adcf-b5597f1b72a2">Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]I posted once before and got very helpful replies, so I was hoping you all could help me with another: My fiance and I are having a small ceremony in Kauai. The following weekend we will have a reception in California with all of our friends. Is it appropriate to wear my gown? I'm assuming it isn't, because it's generally only worn on the wedding day- but you know- who wants to only wear it once. Thanks!! Lynzey
Posted by lynzeyk[/QUOTE]

<div>It's completely appropriate, and in fact, I'd think most of your friends would be disappointed if you didn't. They will absolutely want to see you and your man like you were on your wedding day. I'm not exactly sure why people would say you can't, other than devotion to ancient superstition.</div>

CrystaH11 · January 2013

I think as long as you and your guests don't care if you wear the dress it shouldn't be a huge deal. So many people on these boards are so stuck on every single detail being perfect as far as etiquette goes when in reality most guests could care less about half of it. Celebrate how you want to. Ask close friends as family if they think its inappropriate to wear your dress or not and take your cue from them, after all they're the ones celebrating with you, not us.

itzMS · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:492bafff-0373-4d8b-97a0-ab1f7a058ecb">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think as long as you and your guests don't care if you wear the dress it shouldn't be a huge deal. So many people on these boards are so stuck on every single detail being perfect as far as etiquette goes when in reality most guests could care less about half of it. Celebrate how you want to. <strong>Ask close friends as family if they think its inappropriate to wear your dress or not and take your cue from them</strong>, after all they're the ones celebrating with you, not us.
Posted by CrystaH11[/QUOTE]

No.

OP, you have the right idea to get a party dress, and not wear your bridal attire again.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:492bafff-0373-4d8b-97a0-ab1f7a058ecb">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think as long as you and your guests don't care if you wear the dress it shouldn't be a huge deal. So many people on these boards are so stuck on every single detail being perfect as far as etiquette goes <strong>when in reality most guests could care less about half of it.</strong> Celebrate how you want to. Ask close friends as family if they think its inappropriate to wear your dress or not and take your cue from them, after all they're the ones celebrating with you, not us.
Posted by CrystaH11[/QUOTE]

This is completely untrue. I have been to many a wedding and you wouldn't believe the comments and such that I overhear or actually say myself when poor etiquette rears its ugly head. People notice and people talk. Granted you cannot please everyone but you should damn well try when hosting an event.

virtualdrummer · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:3dae238b-a284-4bc8-8a1e-03d637fafd69">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception? : This is completely untrue. I have been to many a wedding and you wouldn't believe the comments and such that I overhear or actually say myself when poor etiquette rears its ugly head. People notice and people talk. Granted you cannot please everyone but you should damn well try when hosting an event.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>And those same guests will snicker at your makeup, complain about the music, nitpic the food and be an all around sourpuss at your reception. Etiquette serves a purpose - to help people make decisions, since it's not possible to understand all the implications of those decisions when you only have one wedding. But in this case, no one can come up with a practical reason for avoiding the wedding dress, other than parotting etiquette rules. I'm just struggling to understand how any guest to your reception would be offended or taken aback by your decision to wear your wedding dress, and I can see lots of reasons why they would enjoy it.</div>

CrystaH11 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:3dae238b-a284-4bc8-8a1e-03d637fafd69">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception? : This is completely untrue. I have been to many a wedding and you wouldn't believe the comments and such that I overhear or actually say myself when poor etiquette rears its ugly head. People notice and people talk. Granted you cannot please everyone but you should damn well try when hosting an event.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Aside from properly hosting and inviting guests, the rest of the wedding and celebration should be able to go however you would like it. As long as guests are given proper meals, invited in proper social groupings, not being forced to pay for drinks, and being shown they are appreciated for coming to the wedding, why does it matter if someone wants to wear their dress to celebrate their marriage with their family and friends?

itzMS · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:3fb7649f-bee3-4e18-a353-e7e7d0725422">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception? : And those same guests will snicker at your makeup, complain about the music, nitpic the food and be an all around sourpuss at your reception. Etiquette serves a purpose - to help people make decisions, since it's not possible to understand all the implications of those decisions when you only have one wedding. But in this case, no one can come up with a practical reason for avoiding the wedding dress, other than parotting etiquette rules. I'm just struggling to understand how any guest to your reception would be offended or taken aback by your decision to wear your wedding dress, and I can see lots of reasons why they would enjoy it.
Posted by virtualdrummer[/QUOTE]

A wedding dress is ceremonial attire for a bride on her wedding day.

The OP won't be a bride any longer at her party. She will be a wife.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:e720df99-8e6c-4036-acd1-014d94bdb455">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception? : Aside from properly hosting and inviting guests, the rest of the <strong>wedding </strong>and celebration should be able to go however you would like it. As long as guests are given proper meals, invited in proper social groupings, not being forced to pay for drinks, and being shown they are appreciated for coming to the wedding, <strong>why does it matter if someone wants to wear their dress to celebrate their marriage with their family and friends</strong>?
Posted by CrystaH11[/QUOTE]

For the same reason why you wouldn't wear your cap and gown at a party celebrating your graduation. There is certain attire for certain events. A wedding dress is for a wedding ceremony not a party to celebrate their marriage. However, like I said in a previous post I have no problem with a person wearing a wedding dress as long as it is not a princess ball gown with a tiara. It should be simple and understated. If her original dress is not that then she shouldn't wear it.

Also, you are talking about a wedding in your post. This is not a wedding, this is a celebration of their marriage, meaning it should not have any typicall wedding stuff included. I would have no problem if the couple wanted a tiered cake, just don't do the ceremonial cutting and shoving it in each others faces. No first dance, because at that point it isn't the first dance as husband as wife because they have been married for quite some time. Same with bouquet tosses, garter tosses etc.

The topic at hand is a party to celebrate a marriage and yes, if someone included typical wedding things into the party I would side-eye it because they are already married.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_can-i-wear-my-wedding-dress-to-my-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:529f9e5f-5d5d-4754-b923-84df646c49e4Post:3fb7649f-bee3-4e18-a353-e7e7d0725422">Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Can I wear my wedding dress to my reception? : And those same guests will snicker at your makeup, complain about the music, nitpic the food and be an all around sourpuss at your reception. Etiquette serves a purpose - to help people make decisions, since it's not possible to understand all the implications of those decisions when you only have one wedding. But in this case, no one can come up with a practical reason for avoiding the wedding dress, other than parotting etiquette rules. <strong>I'm just struggling to understand how any guest to your reception would be offended or taken aback by your decision to wear your wedding dress, and I can see lots of reasons why they would enjoy it.
</strong>Posted by virtualdrummer[/QUOTE]

Because in my eyes a married woman parading around in a huge wedding dress is odd. She is married, she had her day to wear her dress now she needs to move on.

But as I said in my first post, it really depends on the dress. I think something simple and understated is fine. I think wearing a white dress of any length is fine as well, but if her original dress is a princess ballgown then no I personally think it would be ridiculous.

If people are that interested in what her dress looked like, then that is what pictures are for.

lynzeyk · January 2013

My FH and I talked about this topic and read it over together. We've decided to hold the wedding here, in California, instead of in Kauai to avoid any ettiquitte faux-pas, because the traditional activities (boquet toss, cake cutting, ect.) are important to us. We will visit his family in Kauai later instead.

This information has been invaluable to us. Thank you all very much.

Jager1219 · January 2013

Just to put my 2 cents in, I know of a person who had 2 "weddings". She's Indian and in the Indian culture, a wedding is a multi-day event/celebration. Since her family was on the east coast & his on the west, she had 2 events. She had 2 dresses (both were traditional Indian garb) and 2 parties. I think there were 2 ceremonial events as well. Now, like anything, you have to take into account your specific circumstances. I personally think that if you were to have an intimate ceremony with just his family and then had a reception in CA and did "wedding" stuff like cake cutting and you wore your dress again, I wouldn't think anything of it. But that's me. We have friends having a very intimate ceremony and then holding a much larger reception after. I personally see nothing wrong with this, but it could be me and our circle of friends/family.

julespinkribbon · January 2013

I think that you should wear your wedding gown on the day you get married and then since your reception is a different day, wear a white dress to make you stand out from your guests. However, it is up to you, no one will think its weird if you wear your gown again. Personally, I would wear a different dress.
best of luck and congrats!

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