Engagement party (help!)

irisheyezfsu · September 2010

Not sure what to do.... So bascially when we first got engaged FIs mom mentioned wanting to throw an engagement party for us. I don't care either way but as everyone already knows we are engaged what is really the point since it wouldn't be annoucing it. To me it looks like we are just trying to get gifts which I could care less about. It went away for some time but I just recieved a message on facebook from my FIs aunt who is always trying to help with wedding planning and advice. Her and my FMIL are aparently not talking to each other right now because FMIL thought she was trying to get too involved in wedding planning. In the message FIs aunt mentioned they still weren't speaking but that she wanted to know when our engagement party is.

As far as I know there isn't one happening at present and I would never set up an engagement party myself that is tacky. Another issue is that if it does happen it is really hard for me to take off work. We live out of state and so far all the time I have taken off have been to go back home to wedding plan. I am not even getting thanksgiving (first thanksgiving without family).

I just don't want to get into this drama. I am not sure what to tell her.

meghanmcadams · September 2010

I'd just let her know you guys were not planning to have one. Simple and to the point. Don't go into detail of why if she doesn't ask.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

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irisheyezfsu · September 2010

But it isn't my FMIL asking about the engagement party it is my FIs aunt who is wondering when the date for the engagement party is. Should I just tell her well at this point to my knowledge one isn't planned?

[Deleted User] · September 2010

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AileeneG · September 2010

Just tell her that you aren't aware of one, but you'll let her know if something does come up.

irisheyezfsu · September 2010

Thanks ladies! I just hate drama and most of all family drama

edellis · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_engagement-party-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:1e3f9dc9-cee3-46ce-829b-596da649b2cfPost:79ad278b-1fa3-492b-9886-ec7882d4d0c2">Engagement party (help!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Not sure what to do.... So bascially when we first got engaged FIs mom mentioned wanting to throw an engagement party for us. I don't care either way but as everyone already knows we are engaged what is really the point since it wouldn't be annoucing it. To me it looks like we are just trying to get gifts which I could care less about.[/QUOTE]
Hmm, I sort of see what you mean by what's the point since everyone already knows about it, but that pretty much happens anyway b/c either you tell everyone or they find out from someone. Plus with FB these days, it's almost not impossible to know what's going on. If you do have one, don't think it will look tacky or it's because you expect gifts. Because if people feel obligated to bring a gift (and really dont want to) they just won't come. But I can imagine you have a lot of people who are just thrilled to pieces that you're getting married, and they just want to celebrate. Besides, I think that's a nice gesture from your FI's mom. I got enagaged in June, and we aren't having an engagement party till after I graduate (so busy right now). I am not doing it b/c I want gifts. I'm having one b/c I want to spend time with people I love and have a good time. To me, an engagement party is just another reason to celebrate.

However, if the real issue is that you have difficulty taking off work and traveling then you know what has to be your priority. I am sure she'd understand.

Engagement party (help!)

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