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Alcohol at Reception

sicilianmariesicilianmarie
100 Comments
in California-Los Angeles
So I have read the ettiquette books that say having your guests pay for any alcohol is in poor taste.  However, our wedding is already at 30k and I simply can't provide a full bar or even partial bar for free from 5-midnight.  How have you ladies done it?  And how much money should I budget for this?  Our friends are drinkers!
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Re: Alcohol at Reception

  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Okay, breathe. You can do this!

    How many people do you have? My wedding was much less than $30k, but we also had less than 100 people. Do you have a venue booked? Does this venue have alcohol packages? Rather than being stuck with an unpredictable bill at the end of the night (with a consumption bar) we have a fixed price per guest which covered beer, wine and well drinks. Another thing to do would be to only do beer and wine and not hard liquor. Check with your venue about pricing and see if you can negotiate. Some people also close the bar during dinner and/or 30-60 minutes before the end of the reception, which can save you more money.

    Look for things that you haven't paid for yet that you can cut back on. Maybe a limo, or ceremony flowers (I didn't have any, other than personal flowers), or expensive shoes or clothing. Maybe do your own makeup rather than do pro makeup. If you're planning on buying an album from your photographer, go with a cheaper package that only includes shooting and a CD of images - you can make your own album later. Scale down on the reception decor, maybe by using non-floral centerpieces. Shorten the reception and end at 11. cut out favors for the guests. DIY your invitations and programs.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Have you looked into a beer and wine only bar?
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  • RoMy215RoMy215 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Despite reading these boards a lot and having been to a ton of weddings, this was something I was worried about as well. I wanted to provide alcohol, but we couldn't afford an open bar at our venue (I think it would have been an extra $15k!!). Our venue provided beer/wine/Champagne for 3 hours and I finally decided that would be ok.
    Try what the other ladies suggested. You also don't have to start serving alcohol right when guests arrive. Depending on your venue (or when your wedding will be), if you wanted to provide beverages, flavored water or lemonade might be nice.
    Good luck!!!

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  • ellefirst1980ellefirst1980
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have been to several weddings with a cash bar and I had not issue with that.  I was annoyed going to weddings with NO drinks even if you paid. Good Luck!

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  • JuneMaggieJuneMaggie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you have to provide something, I mean if you spend 30K on your wedding, what is that going towards if not the most important part- the party (food, drinks)- 
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  • kisheyface1110kisheyface1110
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I definitely agree. I have been to dry weddings and I hate to say it, but the vibe is completely different. Half of our friends (who are drinkers like your friends) ended up going to a liquor store down the block and drinking in the parking lot every 30 minutes (basically missing the reception and you don't want them to resort to that!)

    See if you can do just beer and wine. Honestly the biggest place to cut is the champagne toast. We are able to buy and bring in our own alcohol for the wedding and the champagne was the most expensive (for only half way decent champagne.) For the toast everyone can just toast with whatever they're drinking since most people only have a sip or two of the champagne anyway. If you're able to bring your own in go to Trader Joes (stay away from BevMo completely overpriced!) They have the best prices by far for decent wine (I'd stay away from Charles Shaw as some people find it tacky, I personally don't but I heard bad comments at previous weddings.) And Costco for beer.

    If you can't bring your own in then definitely talk to the venue about putting a cap on the amount you want to spend and only have the bar open at certain times. Maybe see if you can just put a bottle or two of wine at each table for dinner and through the first dance/father daughter/etc and open up the bar once the dance floor opens up.
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  • sicilianmariesicilianmarie
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just to clarify, I am NOT considering having a dry wedding, they are awful lol I just cant afford an open bar for 6 hours.  Would having an open bar for 2 hours then turn to a cash bar be ok?
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I'd just offer a more limited selection (like 2 beers and 2 wines) and try to do it for a longer time than have a fully open bar for 2 hours.
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  • cristinasucristinasu member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    That was my biggest dilemma too.

    We ended up getting a 2 hour hosted bar through the hotel package, which we plan on utilizing during an hour cocktail hour and right after the dinner (make sure that DJ announces this), added wine service during dinner, and allocated extra amount for the consumption bar. 
    I am still a bit worried that we may run out of our allowance for the consumption bar as I have no clue how much people will be drinking that night. We will see how it goes.

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