Name change questions

adrianzbride · June 2010

Hey, everyone. When I got divorced, I had decided to go back to my maiden name, so on the divorce decree, it says my name is changed. Well, time passed and I didn't do anything else to change it. It's such a pain, and I just haven't gotten up the energy to do it.

Now I'm getting remarried, and I really want to change it back to my maiden name before the invitations are sent/wedding, but I don't have much time. I'm wondering what I should do. I hate to go to the trouble to have all my credit cards and bank accounts changed and then have to do it again in a few months.

I guess legally my name is my maiden name since that is on the divorce decree... Maybe I could go ahead and get my driver's license changed to the maiden name, but not the social security card? I'm just wondering if I'm going to be making things hard for myself in some way if I don't change the social security card to my maiden name before going to my new married name. I guess a big problem is that I don't know what exactly the procedure is for changing my name on the SS card, DL, etc... I need to do the research.

Men really have it easy, never changing their names. Thanks for listening!

melissamc2 · June 2010

If I were you, I'd just wait the little bit of time until the wedding and THEN change them all, since you've waited this long. I don't think anyone is going to card you at your wedding, your fiance obviously already knows what your license and SS card is under (I'd assume?), and you know what your name "legally" is...so why bother with all the hassle when you know another change is coming up?

As far as the invitations go, you could list yourself as Minnie Mouse and it doesn't matter, so use whichever name you're more comfortable with on there and that's that.

All you have to do to change your SS card and license is show proof of the legal name change (marriage certificate) when you go in, if you wait. At this point, you'd just show your divorce decree that proves the change.

I never went back to my maiden name at all. My name is what it is, and it'll be what it'll be. Of course, as I've stated a few times on this site - last names mean very little to me. It's just something I sign when I need to - it's not who I am in the slightest.

Good luck!

adrianzbride · June 2010

Thanks, Melissa. Your post brought up a question.

Do you think both of my names are legally acceptable right now? I hope so since I've been going by my old married name even though I "changed" it through the divorce papers.

Now I'm wondering about going to get the marriage license with my current DL. I'd really like that to have my maiden name on the marriage certificate... and I don't know if they would allow me to put my maiden name on the marriage certificate since I haven't gotten my name changed yet on the DL. Maybe if I just showed them the divorce papers to show I changed it on there but not on the driver's license. I don't know. I guess I need to talk to my lawyer perhaps. Ugh.

melissamc2 · June 2010

Yes, you SHOULD be able to get the marriage license in your maiden name if you present the divorce papers, as you have to show that to get the new license anyway. Driver's licenses, while obviously legal documents and proof of identity, aren' t really the end all be all that we're made to believe they are. If you explain that you've never had it changed over because you were getting married again, that's likely all it'll take.

Plus, your birth certificate should have your maiden name on it no matter what - and it is also another form of legal documentation for identity. That, coupled with your divorce decree giving you legal permission to use your maiden name, should be fine.

MikesAngie · June 2010

Once you had your decree your name was legally changed to your maiden name. It should have been the name you were using all along. I had an attorney yell at me because I was still using the XH last name a day after the decree was signed... he of course was just like his client an a$$ but any way he did have a point.

Yes changing your name and then doing it again is a pain, I would just get your name changed on your driver's license and have your decree ready should you need it.

Edited to add: I needed my DL with my maiden name on it BEFORE I could get my SS card they wanted an ID and the decree.

Lisa50 · June 2010

I've never changed my name (married once, divorced once), so I guess I'm "lucky."

I would think, though, that your driver's license, passport (if you have one) and social security records should, eventually, be in synch. It might be worth waiting until after the wedding to get it all together.

If you travel (plane, train, ship) for your honeymoon though, I am 99.9% sure that the name on your ticket must match the name on your I.D. (driver's license or passport).

Best of luck!

adrianzbride · June 2010

Thank you! I might go ahead and get the DL changed, and then go from there. I definitely want it all in synch soon. That is a great point about travelling...

Rawr08 · June 2010

I am having the same issue. I was divorced in Sept last year, when I went to change my name they told me I needed a certified copy of the papers... (argh!) so time went by, I finally got them, then FI proposed on Christmas. Then it was too close to tax season for me to change, then there was not point. (we are getting married in September). So on our invitations I am using my maiden name, same with our registry and anything else wedding related. However our marriage license will be the XH's name - it's just legal crap. As far as I know you can not just change your license without changing your SS. As for the marriage certificate, I think you can probably just make your own as it is not a legal document - put whatever name you want on it. (That is what we plan on doing) It is just going to hang on the wall anyway.

Good luck with whatever you do.

nmauser82 · June 2010

As far as legality is concerned, you will just have to call all of your local offices. I would start with the city clerks office where you will have to apply for a marriage license. Explain the situation and ask what they need from you.

As far as changing your name on you SS Card and DL you can't change one and not the other. The DMV will not issue a License to you without a matching SS Card. And you don't wan't these two documents to be different. If you ever have a problem you don't want to be trying to explain to authorities why your ID's don't match and that your divorce decree says one thing etc.... Just change them both.

Please make sure that you know what order to do things in. I had a hell of a time changing my name back to my maiden name after the divorce. It's too complicated to even try to explain my situation but just be cautious. For this reason, I will not be dropping my maiden name this time arround. I fought too hard to get it back.

Erin McCormack · June 2010

As soon as I got my divorce papers, I went straight to the SS office. They actually wanted a copy of the divorce papers with the red and blue seal on it, not the copy you get. So I had to go to the town and pay $5.00 to get them to put the stupid seal on it. I had to have my SS card in order to change my drivers license so SS was first order of business. It didn't take all that long, but, like PP said, I would use your maiden name on the invitations, and then change your name after the wedding. Good luck

Ken&Cass · June 2010

In my state, you have to have the social security card changed before you can change your license. I never bothered changing any of my stuff after the divorce, and now I am having to go back and do it all same as you. I will tell you that changing it back seems to be a lot less hassle...

mswood1977 · June 2010

You need to check with your state, here in TN you only have 2 years from the date your divorce is finaly to change you name, otherwise you have to get another court order. And the divorce decree does not change your name, it simply states that you may change your name back to your maiden name if you choose to do so.

AmethystLdy28 · June 2010

. As far as changing your name on you SS Card and DL you can't change one and not the other. The DMV will not issue a License to you without a matching SS Card. And you don't wan't these two documents to be different. If you ever have a problem you don't want to be trying to explain to authorities why your ID's don't match and that your divorce decree says one thing etc.... Just change them both. Please make sure that you know what order to do things in. I had a hell of a time changing my name back to my maiden name after the divorce. It's too complicated to even try to explain my situation but just be cautious. For this reason, I will not be dropping my maiden name this time arround. I fought too hard to get it back.
Posted by nmauser82[/QUOTE]

I agree, I never wanted to give up my maiden name for my first marriage, but ended up doing so. When I got divorced, I fought HARD to get my maiden name back. However, I did change my DL without a problem, I just showed them the divorce papers and my original SS card (I still had it) Now I'm wondering, do I HAVE to go to the SS Admin and tell them that I'm using my maiden name, since I still have my originall SS card? I have everything in my maiden name now as it is, except my passport. That's where I started thinking maybe I have to do something else with all this. What a mess! I'm still on the fence with changing my name this time around or just keeping my maiden name. Luckily I have a while before I have to decide!

Diana

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