this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
New Discussion

On my own

Equine OsmosisEquine Osmosis member
100 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I won't bore you with the details but due to family drama I'm going to walk down the aisle by myself and I don't plan on having a wedding party.  I have a son that will be the ring bearer- he said he would walk me down the aisle but since he's 10 I didn't think that would be appropriate or fair to put that pressure on him since my father may still be in attendance and my son knows that the father usually does it.  

Can I still have my FI's twin teen nieces be jr. bridesmaids or is that weird since It will only be us up there with no adult bridesmaids?  If not, what do I do with my bouquet during the vows and exchanging of the rings?

Also, besides ring bearer, is there any other role I could have my son partake in?  We see this as a joining of a family so I wanted him to be involved a little more.

Any ideas or suggestions are appreciated.  Thanks!
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: On my own

  • midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    When my cousin got married, her daughter was the flower girl but during the vows, the groom also bent down to the daughter and promised to be there for her also and gave her a necklace of some kind. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. It probably helps to know that the groom is not the father. Perhaps you could do a guy version of this? I'm at a loss for what could be given to him but just an idea.
    Report Reply
  • SarahkayfaSarahkayfa
    100 Comments
    check out the sticky on including children on the 2nd weddings board 
    Report Reply
  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Personally, I'm not a big fan of family vows. The child(ren) involved don't really have a choice in whether or not the marriage takes place, no matter how excited they might be for the weddiing. I feel vows should be between the couple who are actually consenting to the marriage, and not involve parties who really don't have a say. If you really want to involve him in becoming a family, could you and your FI maybe give your son a special memento of some sort before your ceremony, and have your photographer there (kind of like a first-look moment, but for your entire family?)

    As far as your WP, there are really no rules. You can have whomever you'd like in it. It's completely acceptable to have your FI's nieces stand with you. Though I would just make them BMs instead of Junior BMs. In regard to your son's participation in the wedding, I don't think it would be inappropriate at all to have him walk you down the aisle. Just because the bride's father traditionally has that honor, it certainly isn't an unbending rule. For example, my grandfather walked me down the aisle. If you are really against that option, I would simply have him be the ring bearer and perhaps give him something meaningful privately as I suggested above. Best of luck in your planning.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • unplainjaneunplainjane member
    500 Comments
    you can do whatever you like. if you want jr bridesmaids then have them. as for your son i think it's very sweet he offered to walk you down the aisle. i don't think he needs to have more responsibilities then being a ring bearer. he's there to enjoy the wedding and i wouldn't put more tasks on a 10 year old.
    Report Reply
  • mattsgirl2004mattsgirl2004
    10 Comments
    My 11 year old son is walking me down the aisle.  He asked me if he could, and my dad stepped aside to allow him to do so (my dad is a pastor and will be officiating the wedding, so he still has a very important role).  I was a single mom for quite awhile and my son and I have a strong bond, so it's very special to me to have him walk with me.  If your son would like too, and you're comfortable with it...I think you should.  It would be special moment that you two will always have together.  However, if you are not comfortable with that, how about having him stand up with your FI as a groomsman or best man?

    Also, I think it is perfectly okay to have your neices as bridesmaids. :) 

    Good luck to you!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • lastresortlastresort member
    First Comment

    I love the junior bridesmaid idea.  She will love being in the wedding-- it means so much to young girls and they get so excited.  My two daughters are 19 and 12 and will be bridesmaids  with me, my son is walking me down the aisle and my friends little twin girls are the flower girls.  I've seen weddings done with all junior bridesmaids and the pics are adorable.  Do I care if they mess up?  Absolutely not, and no one else will either.   Watching the twins jump up and down after being asked if they wanted to be flower girls was priceless. 

    We are doing a salt ceremony where we all --his children and mine will  participate (you can search it online- it's similar to the sand ceremony). 

    This is a second wedding for us both - we both lost our spouses to cancer.  After what we've all been through it's important that we all come together in the making of a new family.

    Good luck with your wedding - do it your way.

    Report Reply
  • Equine OsmosisEquine Osmosis member
    100 Comments
    Thanks for your thoughts and ideas, ladies!  MidgettheMighty- I really like the idea of a promise from the step parent.  I'll have to put my thinking cap on to figure out a way to do something like that either during the ceremony or in private.

    Twilight- I wasn't thinking of family vows, I agree that the wedding vows are about the man and woman joining and since the kids don't have a choice (even if they are happy about it) they shouldn't be involved in that particular part.

    Matt's girl- I'm happy that it worked out for you to have your son walk you down the aisle.  That is a special memory to treasure!

    I'm going to have to mull it all over a bit more.  I had thought about the sand ceremony but I'll need to check out what a salt ceremony is- sounds interesting!  

    Oh, I do plan on having a special mother/son dance to one of his favorite songs, Little Wonders by Rob Thomas (after our first dance).  I'm thinking I may keep that a surprise for him.  

    Thanks again!  Smile
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards