Catholic Weddings

Priest marry us not in the church venue? (kinda long)

My FI and I were both raised Catholic and went to Catholic elementary and middle schools.  We no longer go to church and have done everything backwards in terms of having 2 children out of wedlock and they are not Baptized at this moment.  I was fine with having a justice of the peace marry us but I think my grandparents would love to see a church wedding.  So I was just wondering if any of you know if priests can marry a couple ouside of a church?  It probably wouldnt be considered the sacrament of matrimony right?  or do priests must marry in church b/c of having the Mass?  I think it would be nice for a priest to marry us instead of JoP. 
Thanks!!

Re: Priest marry us not in the church venue? (kinda long)

  • edited December 2011
    Generally speaking, a priest cannot marry you outside of a church. Exceptions are generally things like hospitals, or, in the case of mixed marriages, the other party's house of worship.

    I think you have other things that you need to consider. Do either you or your fiance see yourselves returning to the Church? Do either or both of you want to have your children baptized and raised in the Church? Is it imporatant to you that the Church recognizes your marriage? If you see the Church as a part of your future lives together, you need to go to a priest and talk to him. He will be in the best position to give you advice about how to proceed.

    If, on the other hand, you only want to have a priest marry you because it is nicer than a JOP or because your grandparents would like it, I think you need to look into other officiants. You should be able to get recommendations from your local board, or have a friend or family member marry you. This ceremony can be written with as many or as few Catholic elements in it as you wish. It will not be, however, be recognized by the Catholic Church.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    IMO, you shoudl not have a catholic priest marry you if you are no longer practicing and your children are not  being raised as catholics.  you shouldnt "fake it" for your grandparents.  to accept a sacrament for a lifestyle that you have no intention of living is not appropriate.

    you can have a ceremony with religious elements and readings, even if its a JOP marrying you.   JOP's will often tailor the ceremony to what you might want.  for example, H's cousin was married by a JOP and there was a lot of talk abotu God, and even a few readings.  She believes in God, so she wanted those elements there, but she does not practice a specific faith, therefore did not ask a minister from a church to marry her.

  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_priest-marry-not-church-venue-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:1e29e72b-67b4-4f33-b892-7bc10c6e5129Post:a7d07d8e-b4ca-488a-a79c-47e1a344f875">Re: Priest marry us not in the church venue? (kinda long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]IMO, you shoudl not have a catholic priest marry you if you are no longer practicing and your children are not  being raised as catholics.  you shouldnt "fake it" for your grandparents.  to accept a sacrament for a lifestyle that you have no intention of living is not appropriate. you can have a ceremony with religious elements and readings, even if its a JOP marrying you.   JOP's will often tailor the ceremony to what you might want.  for example, H's cousin was married by a JOP and there was a lot of talk abotu God, and even a few readings.  She believes in God, so she wanted those elements there, but she does not practice a specific faith, therefore did not ask a minister from a church to marry her.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    Ditto everything Calypso said.  Don't have a priest marry you just to appease your grandparents.  Do it because you believe in it, or find some way to incorporate spiritual/religious elements into your ceremony via non-Catholic officiant.
  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Aside from what PPs have said which I agree with...you/the priest can get special dispensation from the bishop of your dicoese to marry you outside the church.

    However, you should keep in mind that a priest may not want to marry you in the church or at all because of the extenuating circumstances you have mentioned.

     

  • edited December 2011
    Ditto calypso.
  • edited December 2011
    I have to agree with Kjhowd.

    M
  • ninacapricornninacapricorn member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies.  I would like to raise my children Catholic.  Their father has no interest in any Religion, thinking some of the Catholic rules are old fashioned and how the Bishops cover up the wrong doings of some preists.  I will just have to talk to the priest then, and see what our options are!  thanks again! 
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