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Pre-wedding Parties

Does this seem gift-grabby?

My cousin is hosting a bridal shower for me. She asked for a guest list and I included my mom, bridesmaids, FMIL, and some close female friends/family members (all from my side of the family. FH has a very small family, with no relatives who live nearby. In fact, I haven't met most of his extended family--he and his mom talk to them occasionally but visits don't happen very often.)

However, my FMIL has mentioned a couple of times that she wants to host a separate shower for me and only invite women from her side of the family. I think it's kind of her to offer, but she told me who she'd like to invite and I haven't met any of them before!

So my question is, would it appear gift-grabby for her to throw a shower for me and invite members of her family who I've never met? I thought showers were supposed to be for your closest friends/family members. I'm worried those relatives will get a shower invitation and interpret it as just a request for gifts, especially since the majority of them live far away and likely wouldn't be able to attend. (They are all invited to the wedding though, by the way.)

What should I do? Should I not say anything and graciously accept this shower, even if it makes me feel a little awkward? I would like to meet my FH's extended family, but asking them to attend a shower in my honor when they've never met me seems a bit strange.

Re: Does this seem gift-grabby?

  • Perhaps you could ask your FMIL if the shower could be co-ed. Then, the shower would be in his honor too, and all of FI's family would get to see him and meet you guys as a couple! :)
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  • ditto Irishdancer. A coed shower would be perfect for this situation, if it's okay with your FMIL. It will give your Fi a chance to catch up with the family members he hasn't seen for a while.

    In some families it would seem gift grabby to invite people that you know won't be able to attend the showers. In other families, it is customary to extend courtesy invitations to close relatives, even if they are far away and don't see each other very often. Your FMIL is familiar with her family traditions.



                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_this-seem-gift-grabby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c764ba88-7a8f-4d6e-9855-1264ff789bbcPost:34d490af-9f13-49ae-b18e-b495a4275268">Re: Does this seem gift-grabby?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's not a faux pas to have a second shower if everyone who is invited is also invited to the wedding, and that the shower guest list is different.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
    Agree 100%. Please don't invite them to a shower if they aren't invited to the actual wedding
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