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I'm super stressed out

lindaloulubbocklindaloulubbock
100 Comments
in Second Weddings
I have come to the conclusion that I have way too much family drama to have any kind of large get together, nevertheless a wedding.  There has been nothing but family drama for months, and it is exhausting me.  My sister has been trying to shield me from it, but that meant she wasn't really talking to me very much and I ended up being upset with her because I didn't know why she was avoiding me.  At least now I understand that, and I am grateful for her stepping in and keeping me out of it.

Our wedding is in 8 days and I don't see how any of this is going to be smoothed over enough for me to enjoy the day. I'm really upset that I'm putting out so much effort and even if I'm not dealing with the drama all day long, I'll be worried about dealing with the drama.  

Any good advice for getting through the day?  
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Re: I'm super stressed out

  • mightyoakesmightyoakes member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Yes. For this one day, don't think about it, don't connect the dots of your family's drama. Just go about the day as you have envisioned it and nothing else.

    We all deserve this! You've worked hard on this and you just need to smile and keep telling yourself it is going to be fabulous!

    ENJOY your new husband and think of the two of you!

    It IS going to be great!

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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Pick an answer to any drama llama behavior, and practice it.  "I am NOT going to get involved in YOUR drama today, of all days."  Don't own the drama, and don't accept it if it gets handed to you.  If said drama llama comes up to you to say, "You know what XYZ said/ did/ wore/ ate/drank, etc?" - wave them off with a royal hand dismissal and say your line. 

    It's not yours to deal with. 
    Report Reply
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    UGH I totally feel you there! Yesterday I was literally about to just explode and cancel the whole stupid wedding, because FI's family was making a HUGE issue and drama fest over a complete nonissue. Somehow (we think from FI's mom) his grandmother got the idea that the 500 dollars she gave us for wedding food and cake, was not being used for that. And so while I was at my shower, my phone started EXPLODING with phone calls, text messages, etc. from his grandma flipping out because the money she gave us for food and cake...was being used for food and cake. And she didn't believe us for some insane reason, even though I've been nothing but open about exactly how we're going to use the money, where we're buying everything, etc. It was totally ridiculous. And of course this sort of thing has been going on from the very beginning, drama from friends and family over EVERY LITTLE FREAKIN' THING.

    As for my advice, I would say, just let it all out. Go out to your car or something, and just scream, curse, yell, cry, whatever you need to do. Maybe call a good friend and just rant and rave if you need to. Get it all out, take as long as you need. Then I would recommend taking right1's advice from then on out, don't allow them to cause any more drama, or drag you into it. Good luk!
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. It truly is a miracle that any of us survive our families, LOL.

    The advice already given is great, but my 2 cents: You are making a NEW family with your fiance. This BECOMES your family. Anyone you didn't choose, but got stuck with my way of birth is only as close as you let them be.

    Good luck. A stiff drink always helps, LOL
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