No kids allowed

linkmeblink · January 2013

Possible to have a no kids reception but allowed at the ceremony?

Suggested cut-off age?

I have cousins and cousin's kids almost at the 18 mark, but some have siblings that are younger, is it ok to invite them and not their siblings?

AddieCake · January 2013

No, that is very rude. How would you like to be invited to only half an event? Your reception is a thank you to your guests--ALL your guests--for coming to your ceremony. If you choose not to invite children, don't invite them to either the ceremony OR the reception.

Dreamergirl8812 · January 2013

You shouldn't invite some siblings and not others. I would have preferred a childless wedding but our best man has 3 kids and he's coming in from out of town so that's not something we would ask of him. Instead, we're notifying people on our wedding website that since there will be an open bar (which I fully hope to utilize

) we are hiring an on-site babysitter. I'm not sure if they will choose to use the service or not but I want to give THEM the option. I'll have fun no matter what, but I want them to have fun too.

ETA: I think I misread it. If some siblings are over 18 or 21 and the others aren't then splitting them up is ok. But inviting a 15 year old and not a 13 year old, for example, would hurt their feelings.

Blue_Bird · January 2013

What do you expect the parents of those kids to do, drop their kids off somewhere after the ceremony, and then drive back to your reception? That isn't going to happen.

It's o.k. to not invite younger siblings. Just make sure the adult siblings receive a separate invitation. In all honesty, if you don't want kids there at all, it's best to avoid hurt feelings by only inviting the parents. It would feel pretty bad to not receive an invitation when your older sibling did, especially if the difference is two years or less.

Kate61487 · January 2013

[QUOTE]Possible to have a no kids reception but allowed at the ceremony? [/QUOTE]
No. it's all or nothing, you can't have them at the ceremony and not invite them to the reception

[QUOTE]Suggested cut-off age? [/QUOTE]
18 or 21 is pretty typical for adults-only. You could also consider 13+ or something like that if it works for your guest list.

[QUOTE]I have cousins and cousin's kids almost at the 18 mark, but some have siblings that are younger, is it ok to invite them and not their siblings?
Posted by linkmeblink[/QUOTE]
Technically yes, but like PPs have said it could hurt feelings. I'd either just do the parents or adjust the age limit if they're all over 13 or 15 or something.

Simply Fated · January 2013

"Possible to have a no kids reception but allowed at the ceremony?" It's possible, but it's also possible I might someday be Mrs. George Clooney. You shouldn't do it, though. It's really rude to invite any of your guests to only part of your wedding and kids are no exception. Plus, you're now creating extra driving for the parents who have to bring the kids home, ya know? "Suggested cutoff age? I have cousins and cousin's kids almost at the 18 mark, but some have siblings that are younger, is it ok to invite them and not their siblings?" It depends on what works best for you. In my family, it's usually 13 and over no matter what. Some people who do adults only parties do 18 and over and some people who are paranoid about underage drinkers do 21 and over. I think it's fine to invite only the siblings who are old enough, but that's what I'm used to seeing and knowing. Others think little kids need to go everywhere their older siblings go.

MrsGandthebeag · January 2013

Don't invite kids to the ceremony and not the reception. I went to a wedding like this where the bride had a ring bearer and flower girl but then said no kids at the reception. My nephew was the ring bearer and his dad ended up taking him home and not coming to the reception. That is just poor taste.

That being said, you can have a total kids free wedding if you want. I'd do 18 or 21 plus as a cut off. We had 21+ and there was one family where 2 siblings were invited, 2 were not. The parents and older siblings still came.

lyndausvi · January 2013

Inviting ANYONE to the ceremony and not the receptions is rude. The reception is to thank the guests for coming. Just because the guest happens to be a kid doesn't mean you should treat them bad.

Personally I'm not a fan of inviting some siblings and not others. Especially when it comes to family. Also if you the potentially excluded group is a only a few people. Personally thing, not a written rule. I don't want to inconvenience the parents either. A lot of people only have family to watch their kids. If it's a family wedding their babysitting options become limited.

I prefer to invite in circles. Ie: siblings, first cousins, etc. The fact that some of those people happen to be under age doesn't matter to me. Just because I invited a family member who is younger does not mean I have to invite my co-worker's kid.

jennyd412 · January 2013

The only kids coming to my wedding are my 2 nephews (ringbearer and groomsman) (groomsboy?) and my flower girl. I also have a pregnant friend who will have a 2 month old and I plan to tell her she can take the baby and use the bridal suite for nursing/diaper changing etc. Nobody else will have a small baby. My youngest first cousin is 20, so its easy to do adults only besides those exceptions.

jennyd412 · January 2013

oops meant to add...don't do kids at ceremony but not reception. Parents don't like that! Plus, kids could be more of a disturbance at a ceremony IMO. If its about cost, most venues have a cheaper kids meal. For instance, mine is about $100 less for a kid, because they get chicken fingers and fries and no open bar charge.

Jen4948 · January 2013

No, you can't invite anyone to the reception who's not invited to the ceremony. That includes kids.

But I don't think you have to invite all siblings or none. It's a kindness to include everyone, but I understand that sometimes there are circumstances where that isn't practical or even possible.

linkmeblink · January 2013

Sorry didn't mean to rude. To clarify it is no kids (both reception and ceremony) but their may be a special circumstance where by the guest's choice they may bring their kids to the ceremony only.

I was thinking about an 18+ cut off but for example there is one exactly 18 and siblings are 10 and 16.

Hard to please everyone :-/

Thanks for the honest comments and suggestions! My wedding etiquette is definitely not the best and I would hate to offend anyone. :-)

vinnieandmegs · January 2013

So we are having a no kids wedding. But it's both ceremony and reception. I do think it is a little messy to let kids be there for the first half and not for the reception. However, I have no qualms about inviting one sibling and not the other. I just did that for my own wedding. If you have an adult child 18+ they are invited. Yes I have caught some flack and no I do not care! Respect the wishes of the bride!

No kids allowed

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