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Cake Cutting Question

Ven&RadioVen&Radio member
1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I'm getting ready to do some cake tastings, so I've been researching things to ask the bakery, etc.  In the process I've come across several mentions that traditionally the cake cutting is a signal for elderly guests to depart the reception.  What?? Is there some sort of history/symbolism to this?  Is this something that people really do?  I would like all of my guests to stay and enjoy a slice of cake, if they are so inclined.  I also wouldn't begrudge anyone who wanted/needed to leave early.  I just don't want anyone to feel they need to leave because we're cutting into the cake.
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Re: Cake Cutting Question

  • daria24daria24 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2013
    I don't think it's a signal per se, it's not like anyone is telling Grandma and Great Aunt Clara to hit the road. But I've definitely seen a lot of people (of varying ages) leave after the cake cutting. The cake cutting is usally the last "event" that people want to see, so once it's over, those with a long drive home, young children, early bed times, etc often leave. Also, many times the DJ/band will start playing more "party" music after that point, so sometimes older guests or those with sensitive hearing leave (my in-laws are like that, the second the music gets to an uncomfortable volume, they say good-bye).

    But I definitely don't view it as the  bride + groom TELLING certain guests to leave now. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I've noticed that most of the time the cake cutting happens before the "dance party" part of receptions really starts up, which is why the older guests typically tend to leave after the cake cutting.

    And yes, they really do leave after they eat cake.
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  • Ven&RadioVen&Radio member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Thanks everyone for clarifying.  I think I was taking too literal of an interpretation of the custom.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Then you have my family and we really mess that all up!
    We cut the cake so it is served as dessert with dinner.  We never have a leftover problem because people WILL snack on the leftovers.  My theory is I pay a small fortune for my girls' wedding cakes and I want them eaten.  We also serve alcohol and we have some pretty randy drinkers at times who have no desire to eat cake once they have started drinking. 

    The girls (so far) have chosen to cut their cakes during the cocktail hour and then it is taken in the back.  Works for us....
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    kmmssg you are not alone.  I can't remember the last wedding I went to where the cake wasn't cut as soon as the B&G arrived.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
    2500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Traditionally, it wasn't polite to leave until the bride and groom had left, so I'm not sure about the cake cutting thing.  In modern times, many brides and grooms are the last to leave, so that's not a rule anymore.  I've seen the cake cut just after the dinner.  Recently, I've seen it cut before dinner.  We're cutting ours during dinner, so that it can be served immediately following dinner.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well, the cake cutting may be the final event of the festivities that is sedate enough for elderly or disabled guests to participate in comfortably if at all, so they may interpret it as "time to leave" even if it's not actually intended that way.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Mel is right.  The bride and groom cut the cake, the cake gets served and everyone else eats cake while the bride and groom change into their get-away clothes, then everyone is called out to the porch or lobby or outside stairs to "send off" the bride and groom - sometimes with sparklers, etc.  After that, the music kicks up to be real party/dance music and the older guests leave.
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