You gotta answer me this.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

I read all over TK about how tacky it is to put your wedding registry on your invitations.

All right then - so if you don't tell your guests where you're registered - how do they find out? Why register at all?

We haven't even started our registry yet and I'm not sure I want to even bother if I don't know a proper way of telling people where I'm registered without people getting offended.

loop0406 · July 2010

Our registry info went inside the bridal shower invites, word of mouth is how most guests will get the info

ehathewa · July 2010

If you have a wedding website you can put it on there as well.

jagore08 · July 2010

Exactly what the others have said. A shower is meant to "shower" the couple with gifts so it appropriate to put the info in that. A website is meant for all sorts of wedding information including the registry info. If you have none of this then your parents and WP can spread the word.

An invitation is only for information about the wedding location and time.

Brie2010 · July 2010

And if you're not having a shower...your wedding website, or, frankly, Google. It's not that hard to find someone's registry. I'm guessing I could find at least one of your registries by checking the Macy's, Crate & Barrel, Target, Williams-Sonoma, or BBB websites...am I wrong?

SuMmErKuTiE · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:0578af39-319f-402e-9c85-50f5d5fd08f9">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]Our registry info went inside the bridal shower invites, word of mouth is how most guests will get the info
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]

This is what we did as well, plus it was listed on our wedding website.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

I suppose.

I don't think we're going to do a wedding website - but we may have to anyways.

Do you put the website on the invites then? Or is that just by word of mouth too?

arthomas82 · July 2010

Mine are going as separate inserts in the invitations. Personally, I'm sick of this PC crap about it being in poor taste to give your guests a heads up as to where the bride and groom are registered. People want to know - this saves them the time and energy of having to look and guess. Goin in the invites like they have for decades.

lam11 · July 2010

We put our registry info in the bridal shower invites & also word of mouth.

In the invitations I put our website which has our registry info on it as well.

waltzingmatilda13 · July 2010

Most people found our registries without asking. I google searched a wedding couple who is getting married in 2 weeks and found a BB&B and Kohl's registry. Everyone else just got us gift cards.

HKD817 · July 2010

I've sent out the invitations for the guests who are out of the country since they need some more time to plan. I included a little card that said for all the wedding details visit our wedding web page! and then i put the link on the bottom. So they can login and see pics, hotel information, things to do in the area and viola..the registry. Not that it really matters because our registry sucks. we dont really need much for our house.

pirategal03 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:f6f1568a-0025-43bf-b2c9-971e3df5e984">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]I suppose. I don't think we're going to do a wedding website - but we may have to anyways.<strong> Do you put the website on the invites then? Or is that just by word of mouth too?</strong>
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

If you have an insert of some sort, putting the website there is a good way to do it. We have a reception insert, and the website address will be listed there. Our registry info is on our website.

quotequeen · July 2010

I sent 3 wedding gifts last week and found all 3 registries by using google and checking certain stores. If somebody can't find it, the old fashioned way was to ask your parents or bridal party.

Kristin789 · July 2010

Your wedding guests have been going to weddings for years and years. And they'll do what they always do: They'll ask the MOB or the MOH, or they'll use the Knot's search engine, or they'll to the the two stores where everyone in your area registers and just type in your name and find the registry.

golden1215 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:14f22ef6-1849-4fec-a016-048e94945465">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine are going as separate inserts in the invitations. Personally, I'm sick of this PC crap about it being in poor taste to give your guests a heads up as to where the bride and groom are registered. People want to know - this saves them the time and energy of having to look and guess. Goin in the invites like they have for decades.
Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

wouldnt the showe before the wedding be the only heads up needed?

kristinanddan · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:14f22ef6-1849-4fec-a016-048e94945465">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine are going as separate inserts in the invitations. Personally, I'm sick of this PC crap about it being in poor taste to give your guests a heads up as to where the bride and groom are registered. People want to know - this saves them the time and energy of having to look and guess. Goin in the invites like they have for decades.
Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

It has nothing to do with being "PC" - it's <strong>RUDE</strong>!

Trust me, people aren't stupid. They can easily figure out where a couple is registered, even without a shower invitation or the info on a wedding website.

flutgrl1 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:14f22ef6-1849-4fec-a016-048e94945465">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine are going as separate inserts in the invitations. Personally, I'm sick of this PC crap about it being in poor taste to give your guests a heads up as to where the bride and groom are registered. People want to know - this saves them the time and energy of having to look and guess. Goin in the invites like they have for decades.
Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

Totally totally agree. I would never take the time to look up someone's registry.

skippylouwho · July 2010

It took me all of 5 minutes to find registries at Macy's for 4 engaged couple we know.

MNVegas · July 2010

Guests who are interested in give a gift will ask where you are registered.

As far as putting info in wedding invitations, I really dislike that. My cousin recently sent out her invites and put registry info inside. My mom and I looked at each other rolled our eyes and shook our heads. Other relatives have made comments about how inappropriate it was to put registry info w/invites. We all felt really bad for my aunt who was highly embarrassed by this also.

campergrlsugar · July 2010

i would not hunt for a registry or have to ask 16 different people...of course for a wedding i always give cash....i have never given a gift for the wedding only the shower??? thats tradition here anyway....

we already live together and have 2 of everything since we both lived on our own for quite some time...therefore i dont want a shower...and really dont need another toaster.....we registered at home depot...because we are planning an addition to our house...i dont think people would ever think of that

and i dont think its rude to include it in your invites.....why make people hunt and hunt for which store...there a bizzilion options for where you can register....so stop judging.....people who go to weddings expect to have to give gifts right??? so why not tell them where to get them??? would you go to a wedding empty handed??? NOOOOO THAT would be RUDE!!! so why not make your guests lives a bit easier???

banana468 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:f5e6e1f2-6d46-4a79-a049-651a28f77d20">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE] i dont think its rude to include it in your invites.....why make people hunt and hunt for which store...there a bizzilion options for where you can register....so stop judging.....people who go to weddings expect to have to give gifts right??? so why not tell them where to get them??? would you go to a wedding empty handed??? NOOOOO THAT would be RUDE!!! so why not make your guests lives a bit easier???
Posted by campergrlsugar[/QUOTE]

Actually, there are a few things wrong with that statment:

1) You're not MAKING them hunt. They're CHOOSING to look at where you're registered because giving a gift is a CHOICE and not a requirement. Gifts are never something that you should expect or require of your guests.

2) By stating where you're registerd in the invitation, you make it seem as if you're looking for the guests' presence AND presents. That's just a greedy request and hence, why it's rude and against proper etiquette. One doesn't shake down her guests.

3) People often go to weddings with the understanding that they'll give a present. However again, it's a GIFT. A gift isn't a requirement To turn it into one is rude.

4) I would go to a wedding empty handed. It's actually considered rude to show up to a wedding WITH a gift in hand as it creates a burden on the couple to get the gifts back to their home on their wedding night.

campergrlsugar · July 2010

I
n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:8e14162b-9c8d-40c1-bc35-355267bf315a">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: You gotta answer me this. : Actually, there are a few things wrong with that statment: 1) You're not MAKING them hunt. They're CHOOSING to look at where you're registered because giving a gift is a CHOICE and not a requirement. Gifts are never something that you should expect or require of your guests. 2) By stating where you're registerd in the invitation, you make it seem as if you're looking for the guests' presence AND presents. That's just a greedy request and hence, why it's rude and against proper etiquette. One doesn't shake down her guests. 3) People often go to weddings with the understanding that they'll give a present. However again, it's a GIFT. A gift isn't a requirement To turn it into one is rude. 4) I would go to a wedding empty handed. It's actually considered rude to show up to a wedding WITH a gift in hand as it creates a burden on the couple to get the gifts back to their home on their wedding night.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Just because you advise them of where you are registered does not mean you require a gift??!!!!! Its just advising them...if they would like to buy a gift here is where we are registered...if you dont expect any gifts than why do you register???

So you would go to a wedding with no gift (cash or otherwise)??? now thats completely rude!! I would never go without a gift of cash...if you read my post i stated that I always give cash at a wedding, but i personally know my FI's great aunt weezie is gonna get me a gift and rather than it being something we dont need i put it in an insert that we are registered at home depot!

And no one has thought it was rude....they have called me and said OHH MYYY GODDD what a great idea to register at home depot!!

gottahavashorti · July 2010

Including the registry in places like invitations indicates that you're expecting your guests to give you gifts. Registering is done for guests who do wish to give a gift and want guidance on the B&G's tastes and needs.

It is actually improper to go to a wedding with a boxed gift. Technically, they should be sent to the couple's home or the address on file with the registry so that the couple doesn't need to worry about hauling around gifts after the wedding. Still, it's common to bring boxed gifts to a wedding. Because we had so much alcohol left over, there wasn't enough space left in my parents' car where the alcohol was originally going to go. One of my cousins helped them out and had to make a trip up to my parents' to bring our gifts while we were on our HM.

Those who want to shop from the registry will find out where it is. Those who get an off registry gift probably would have done so whether or not they knew where the registry was.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

Also, gifts are never required or they would not be gifts. It's disappointing when someone doesn't bring so much as a card, but I don't think it's rude not to give a gift. If someone is in a tight spot financially, hopefully the B&G want to see that guest more than they want the gift.

banana468 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:cf023a17-f8ac-400a-b136-335d156505ad">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]I n Response to Re: You gotta answer me this. : Just because you advise them of where you are registered does not mean you require a gift??!!!!! Its just advising them...if they would like to buy a gift here is where we are registered...if you dont expect any gifts than why do you register??? So you would go to a wedding with no gift (cash or otherwise)??? now thats completely rude!! I would never go without a gift of cash...if you read my post i stated that I always give cash at a wedding, but i personally know my FI's great aunt weezie is gonna get me a gift and rather than it being something we dont need i put it in an insert that we are registered at home depot! And no one has thought it was rude....they have called me and said OHH MYYY GODDD what a great idea to register at home depot!!
Posted by campergrlsugar[/QUOTE]

1) It does not mean that you necessarily require a gift -but it does mean that you'[re expecting one just as you're expecting a response. You're putting it out there for your guests rather than giving them the option. It's blunt and it's rude.

2) I never expected a gift but DH and I registered because we knew people would want to give us gifts. And we never put that information on our invitations and yet most of our registry was completely purchased by our wedding date. We didn't make it look like we had our hands out to our guests though.

3) I never said that I wouldn't give a wedding gift. I simply won't bring one to the wedding. They'll be sent to the couple before the big day or after. I won't bring one on the day of. Aside from it being rude, it opens the door for others to steal them - and I've heard horror stories.

4) it's great that you had some positive reviews on including the registry information with your invitations. Keep in mind though that some of your guests who didn't call may have found the information to be inappropriate. Also, if I was mid-conversation in a group, I'm not going to be the person to jump in and say, "But I could have found that on my own. Why did they broadcast it?" And some of your friends and/or familiy may be thinking the same thing.

build_me_a_cake · July 2010

I'll just say this: Martha Stewart says it is acceptable to put your registry on your invitations. If she says it's ok, it's ok.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

If everything Martha Stewart says is okay, why did she end up in luxury prison?

arthomas82 · July 2010

Oh oops - I didnt realize that they go in the bridal shower invites. In that case, we'll just put them in there. But...thats only alerting the few women being invited to the bridal shower. Either way - they will go inside of one OR the other.

banana468 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gotta-answer-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f64123e-21c4-4d36-b16f-1b001d56ea63Post:4b611179-8161-40d8-92c2-9278c6586fb7">Re: You gotta answer me this.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll just say this: Martha Stewart says it is acceptable to put your registry on your invitations. If she says it's ok, it's ok.
Posted by build_me_a_cake[/QUOTE]

You realize that Martha is hardly someone to quote on appropriate behavior, right?

Just read a few stories about how she treats others. The woman should only be used as a referenced of things to avoid.

You gotta answer me this.

Re: You gotta answer me this.

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