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Marriage Prep at Separate Church- Donations

cas209cas209
10 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
FI and I are having our wedding ceremony at a church on the campus of a university we both attended.  We have met with the priest there and will be meeting with him 1 more time before the wedding. 

However, this university is about 2 hours from where we live, so we are completing marriage prep (pre-nuptuial investigation and FOCCUS) through our local parish.  Our local parish does not offer precana, so we are completing that through another church in our diocese.

My question--- Should we give a donation to the Deacon preparing us through our home parish?  If so, how much? 
We are paying a fee for precana through the 3rd church.  Do we need to donate on top of this?

I'm confused about the ettiquette around this and am open to suggestions!
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Re: Marriage Prep at Separate Church- Donations

  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I would do a donation to any particular person who is helping in some way. The deacon who is preparing you is one; the priest who is marrying you is another. If one or more of the parishes is one where you are merely attending a class/conference/whatever you do not need to provide a donation to them (especially if there is a fee associated with the class -- usually to cover materials).
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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I don't think that it would hurt to ask if there is a fee associated with the pre-marriage inventory!  I know that the processing of those documents usually aren't free if the parish doesn't have the ability to do it themselves.

    We did provide gifts to and/or donations on behalf of anyone who assisted directly with our wedding preparation and ceremony that weren't already directly compensated in some way by our ceremony fee (i.e. musicians... this can vary from parish to parish!).  Our deacon directly guided us through most of our marriage prep, so we made a donation to his favorite charity and gave him a book store gift card as a thank-you.  We did something similar for our priest as well.  We got our mentor couple a thank-you gift, too, for the time they took to meet with us.
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  • MedStudent13MedStudent13 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    On a kind of related note, my fiance and I are getting married at my campus chapel and I just found out that the 'offerings' include not ony $600 to chapel upkeep, but also $600 to our sister church! (and that is on top of offerings for the presider, organist, cantor and server which makes up another cool $700). I'm kind of suffering from sticker shock here.
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