How do I include my brother?

kelty24 · June 2012

So FI and I have been talking about our wedding party and I have all of my bridesmaids and he has picked his groomsmen and I asked him the other day if my brother could be a GM and he gave me a weird look and was like "Why? I thought I picked them" I was like Well, he's my brother and we're really close and I want him to be part of the whole ceremony somehow. I told him if he had sisters I would let them be bridesmaids. He said he would think about. He wasn't trying to be rude, it was mostly confusion. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestios?
Thanks in advance!

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

Your brother can stand on your side. Your FI is right; he should pick his GMs. But there's no reason a guy can't stand up on your side. You can have mixed-gender WPs.

aerinpegadrak · June 2012

My brother stood on my side. Your FI is right, he chooses his side on his own.

staderdanger · June 2012

I wanted my bro to be involved and me and my FI decided to ask him to be the officiant. I'm so happy we are doing that because it meant a lot to my brother and to us to have someone who really knew and loved us perform our ceremony. If you dont have an officiant I would suggest talking to your FI about that, see if thats something you'd want.

JaxInBlue · June 2012

Ditto Summer and aerin. He can stand on your side. Alternatively, he could do a reading or a musical solo, if he's musically inclined. He could be an usher. Depending on the type of service you are having, there may be other roles he could play (for example, in a Catholic wedding in can be considered an honor role to bring the gifts to the altar at the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist) but I don't think he needs to be a groomsman if he wasn't originally someone your FI thought of.

aerinpegadrak · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_how-do-i-include-my-brother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:aefc545f-27fa-40b7-ab5b-a071f98b38c7Post:8e5847b2-8170-4be6-9cb2-b2c8f434b866">Re: How do I include my brother?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wanted my bro to be involved and me and my FI decided to ask him to be the officiant. I'm so happy we are doing that because it meant a lot to my brother and to us to have someone who really knew and loved us perform our ceremony. If you dont have an officiant I would suggest talking to your FI about that, see if thats something you'd want.
Posted by staderdanger[/QUOTE]
This can be a good idea (DH's uncle performed our wedding), but check out the laws with the county where you're getting married before you ask, and make sure you leave yourself enough time to get it done. The rules in some places can be a little... draconian. It took us about two months to get all the approval paperwork we needed. Bottom line, you don't want to ask him and have everyone get set on the idea, only to find out that he can't legally perform the wedding for whatever reason.

gundy21 · June 2012

My brother and my DH's sister did readings for our ceremony. We wanted them involved but didn't ask them to be BM/GM since we wanted a very small bridal party.

aragx6 · June 2012

My brothers are standing on my FI's side, but they're very close. If you want him to be in the wedding party, you should ask him to stand up with you. Sides don't have to be even and it's fine if they're co-ed.

JessBee410 · June 2012

Are you FI and brother close, like do they hang out ever? If they're friends, then he should be in the party 100%. Is he your only brother? I think that if he is, your FI should understand why it's important to you. I know lately bridal parties have been swapping positions, men standing next to brides and vice versa so you can always do that if you're not looking to be uber traditional. I only have 1 brother and I expressed it was important to me that he was in my wedding party, fortunately my FI and him are friends, so it wasn't an issue. He has two sisters that I did not put in my bridal party because I'm just not close to them. But if it's important to you, I'm sure you're FI will see that and you can figure something out.

kelty24 · June 2012

Thanks for all the advice. My brother is my ONLY brother so it is important for him to be a part of it. Him and my FI get along very well but they are not super close mostly because they have never gotten to hang out much. I'll probably just have him stand on my side. We already have someone to perform our ceremony and I don't think that's something my brother would like to do.
Again, thanks for the advice. It's appreciated.

How do I include my brother?

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