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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

advice on tipping?

I posted this on the Etiquette board but no one responded - any suggestions appreciated!

I know people ask about the deal with tipping quite a bit, but I wanted your input on what my planner suggested for tipping the other day.  She said its standard to provide a tip for all vendors who don't provide you with a tangible product.  Our waitstaff/bartender/caterer is all part of venue and gratuity was included.

This means I would need to tip DJ, Officiant, Limo Driver, Lighting guy, Planner and possibly her day of assistant.  Planner also suggested that I could give her the tips in cash on Friday before rehearsal.

My issues with this based on what i have read her on this forum - our DJ owns his own company.  THe lighting guy owns his own company.   It seems weird to tip a minister.  Our planner owns her own company.  I can see tipping the limo driver. 

Furthermore, giving her the money before we receive the services is a bit more unsettling to me.  And it is blowing my mind that we need to tip people who own their own companies are making a profits off of what we have paid them.  It's not like they are waitstaff, bartenders, etc.

What do you think?
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Re: advice on tipping?

  • amberlynnedamberlynned member
    500 Comments
    edited September 2010
    Etiquette dictates that anyone providing you with a service like your DJ, coordinator, photographer, etc. gets tipped. Don't take this the wrong way, but your vendors will consider you VERY trashy if you don't tip them.

    And your coordinator is doing what all coordinators do by handling the tips. Thats their job. Trust, you'll be too busy on your wedding day to try and take care of the tips yourself. 

    Also, we tipped our photographer VERY well and he gave us an extra 400 pics!!! Just something to think about....
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  • Suggestion...have your best man or father tip all the people AFTER the wedding.

    Tipping ahead DOES NOT guarantee exceptional service.  Tips are after all a consideration for performing above the call of duty.  

    As for the officiant.  We donated a cash gift to our church, although it was given to him you still felt as though you were contributing the church.
  • My photographer and DJ own their businesses so they are not getting tipped. I am getting a wedding gift for our photographer because her wedding is the week after ours. Our venue includes gratuity in their charges. We are getting our flowers for a local grocery store.
  • I am not tipping vendors who own their own business and our venue includes the tip in the price.

  • I did not tip vendors who owned their own business, and we didn't end up tipping anyone other than the limo driver on the day of (best man took care of that). Since we ended up speaking to most of our vendors the day after the wedding to tie things up we gave them thank you cards with a tip then.
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