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I'm meeting my new MIL on Thanksgiving: gift ideas anyone?

lynnmfranklynnmfrank member
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in Moms and Maids
I'm meeting my new mother-in-law over Thanksgiving dinner next week and wanted to give her a small gift or token.

She is 92, very intelligent, former teacher, but has visual limitations with cataracts and macular degeneration in one eye.  She appears to be a good dresser in photographs and wears tasteful makeup.  Her age hasn't slowed her down, but I understand that she reads much less than she used to because of her visual problems.

What would you give her for a small gift? 
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Re: I'm meeting my new MIL on Thanksgiving: gift ideas anyone?

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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I second the bottle of wine unless you know of something else that she likes to drink.  I'd also consider a small box of cookies from a really good bakery.
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    lynnmfranklynnmfrank member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry--I didn't clarify the meal situation.

    She is traveling to our city, staying in a nearby hotel and we are taking her to Thanksgiving dinner at the same restaurant where our wedding ceremony and brunch will be held.

    It might seem odd if I bring a bottle of wine intothis restaurant--given that it's also a high-end bottle shop.

    I was considering some beautiful holiday pins I saw in Macy's yesterday--just not sure what to purchase for someone her age, not knowing her taste's very well.

    If this one stumps you-no biggie.  Just fishing for ideas.
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    jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Have you asked your FI what she would like?

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    mgietler76mgietler76 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would also ask your FI, it would seem a little odd to me to bring a gift at all though.
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    wegsmomwegsmom member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    Since you mention she is staying at a hotel, I would suggest a nice welcome basket.  If you want something non-edible in the basket...maybe something like a nice robe or slippers.

    Best of luck.

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    mkovacikmkovacik
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    edited December 2011
    She'd probably just appreciate a nice note or letter telling her how excited you are to be a part of her family and for her to be a part of yours.  At her age, I doubt she much cares if she gets anything tangible; some heart felt words would probably mean more to her.
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    ehathewaehathewa
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I love to get people chocolates from my favorite local place. 
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    8daysaweek8daysaweek member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would recommend not getting her anything for the actual meeting and instead sending her a nice card after her visit letting her know how much you enjoyed meeting her and how happy you are to join her family and how much you appreciate the wonderful son she raised. Perhaps if you felt inclined after meeting her, you could send a small token with the card.
    The reason i recommend against the gift at the meet is because it puts a lot of pressure on the situation and makes it all seem very formal. I'm sure you're nervous (I know I was the first time I met FMIL) so try to take pressure out of the situation and make it a more relaxed day for all of you.
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    Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
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    edited December 2011
    Mom here.  I always appreciate small tokens...cards, candy, flowers.  My FSIL brought me handmade chocolates the first time he came to our home for dinner...but then my daughter tipped him off to what would make me smile!
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    FutureDondadaFutureDondada member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO, outside of a bottle of wine or chocolates, I wouldnt get her anything. When I met my FMIL, FI was living with her and he had to stop home for something. I ran inside with him to meet her, but I definitely didnt get her anything. Just said hello, nice to meet you, and what a beautiful house. B/c if your FI and not BF, something small like chocolates...
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    JadziaDaxJadziaDax member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What is a holiday pin? Like a hair pin?

    Maybe you can buy a nice picture frame and put a picture of her and your FI in it. You can write her a nice note and say the gift is from the both of you.
    I also like what wegsmom suggested about a gift basket with a robe and slippers.
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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Under the circumstances I wouldn't give her a gift.  This isn't really a gift giving situation.  I don't know anything about the woman or how she thinks but some might view the gift as you trying to "buy" her affection.  Now since she is staying in a hotel the welcome basket from you and your FI of a few items to make her stay more comfortable is a thoughtful gesture. 
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    bdulli13bdulli13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When I was going with FI (boyfriend, then) to meet his extended family for the first time at Christmas last year, I sent flowers to his grandmothers for delivery the day before Christmas Eve. They're always nice to smell, as long as she isn't allergic (check with FI). When we got to Boston, one bouquet was displayed next to the door, and one as the centerpiece to Christmas dinner. Both of them were so excited because his grandfathers both passed a while back, and it had been a long time since they had received flowers.

    In your situation, bringing a bouquet might work quite well. And a post-holiday thank you note for including you in their traditions will probably win her right over!
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you feel the desire to give her a gift, I think that's great.  Sure, it's not typical or required, but it's a nice gesture.

    You can bring chocolates - I know of very few women who would turn their nose up at a nice box of chocolates (may I recommend Godiva truffels... I drool just thinking of them).  Also, a CD with music that she might like (your FI would be able to give some advice, I imagine).  A book on tape would be a good gift, but wait until a future holiday for that - she might take offense to it, so it's best to wait to get a feel for whether she'd appreciate it.

    I also think flowers are always a good gift for a woman.  Just a small bouquet - it makes people smile!

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