this is the code for the render ad
March 2012 Weddings

Uncomfortable situation - advice please!

Long story short. One of my close girlfriends and her husband just separated and are no longer living together. Her H is a good friend of FI's. It's been going on for a few months and originally she said they would be coming together regardless. I hadn't gotten their RSVP so I texted her today just to check in. We've been talking via text the last few weeks and I hadn't brought up any wedding stuff with her.

She responded to me today and said that she was really sorry but she wouldn't be able to make it because her H was bringing a date and she wasn't comfortable being there with them. One, I totally respect that she would be uncomfortable. Two, who the hell said he was allowed to bring a date??!! Obviously, their invite was addressed soley to the two of them.

I (very nicely) told her that he was welcome to come, but that his date was not invited since we did not have room and we don't know her. Especially since her coming would mean my friend would not. She told him that I was not comfortable with him bringing a date and he said he may not come then since he doens't like going places by himself. Seriously?! He's going to know almost everyone there.

So I tell FI about it and he said he would talk to him. He agreed with me that it was rude of him to invite a random person in place of his wife, and that my friend should be able to come and feel comfortable. FI agreed to talk to him but I'm just not sure how we should approach this. I'm afraid that we're going to offend/alienate one of them, or that one or the other of them won't come because of this.

Obviously our friendship is more important then them coming to our wedding. I feel bad for FI because I know he really doesn't want to have this conversation. I'm frustrated and sad. I want them both to be there. I don't want to cause drama, but who doesn't know you can't just bring uninvited guests to a wedding??!

Sorry, I just don't know how to handle this situation without making everyone feel terrible. Thoughts and suggestions are much appreciated!!

Re: Uncomfortable situation - advice please!

  • That is a tough situation and I think approaching it the way you are, that You can't add a guest is the best way to handle it.  One, I'm sure you are limited on space and two you can assure him you will seat him next to his friends and seat her separately with friends of hers.  Handle it like you would any other situation of someone wanting to add an extra guest.  Let them know that you would love for them to come but you can't add any extra guests or you would have to do it for everyone.
  • If your FI and this guy are good friends I think he should just approach him as a friend and say "what's going on here?" I don't think it's at all inappropriate for him to explain your concerns. If he gets into the conversation and feels like it's going to jeopardize the friendship eh can just drop it.
    image
    March 2012 Knotties Siggy Challenge - Favorite Engagement Picture Follow Me on Pinterest Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Aw man, I really have nothing to add. I do agree with eli, though. I think that would be the way I'd go.
  • Geez!
    I'm sorry but your close friend's husband is being a total a$$hole from what it sounds like. He's being deliberatly disrespectful of you, FI, and his own wife. I mean, really? He doesn't feel comfortable going to his close friend's(i.e. FI's)wedding by himself so he brings a date? Did he also plan on bringing some lemons and salt to rub in those open wounds from the recent separation?
    I agree with elidellio. FI should start the conversation with a "Whats going on here?" It is understandable for you and FI to ask him not to bring an unknown date that wasn't already invited. Especially so close to the wedding and if it causes your own close friend to not go. Tell him to grow up!

    (Sorry if that was a little harsh.Embarassed)
    Cupcake Original since 2007 Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards