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Deployment

lauram415lauram415 member
10 Comments
in Military Brides
So this is my first time writing on something like this, but I feel like I just need to get all of my thoughts out. My fiance and I have our date set to September 22, 2012. We knew that he was going to deploy for 6 months and be back in July so I thought planning a date for late September would be fine. Well, it's not. Recently he found out he may not be back for the wedding!! I have all of my vendors booked and have given them deposits and I don't know what to do now :( Not only am I sad that he will be gone for 7+ months, but I am upset about the possibility of him not coming back on time. I am trying my hardest to just think positive but it's so hard. The longest he has ever deployed was 3 months and that felt like forever. I just feel like this is the worst timing and I'm praying everything works out. It's hard to deal with something like this when my biggest support and best friend is so far away from me. I would like to know if anyone else is going through something similar. If not, then I would just really love some words of encouragement. I should know for sure next month when he will be back. Please pray that he returns to me safely and on time.
Thanks,
Laura
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Re: Deployment

  • Zimsgirl26Zimsgirl26
    500 Comments
    edited January 2012
    Could you move your date back and see if the vendors will honor your deposit for the new day?
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  • lauram415lauram415 member
    10 Comments
    I have no idea. I am starting to read that I should have mentioned his deployment in all the contracts. But the only thing we have insurance on is our honeymoon. Should I start letting all the vendors know? I just don't know how it would work considering he has no idea when he will be back. I can't just expect them to reserve a bunch of dates for me :(
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  • CaddycakesCaddycakes member
    First Comment
    My fiance is gone for 6 months too........ We just got engaged before he left and Im planning the wedding for a couple weeks after he gets back. Its only been 2 weeks and I feel Im going nuts with missing him. Its my first time going through this and its extremely hard for me to..
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  • lauram415lauram415 member
    10 Comments
    Caddycakes, I know the feeling. This is my fiance's 4th deployment and this one is the longest and hardest. Not to mention, I am so nervous. Where is your fiance going? If I were you, I would make sure you talk to all the vendors about it and ask them what their policy is on deployments. I wish I would have done that. I would have to say, that the most important thing is that you stay strong for you and for him too.
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its
    First thing is first, calm down and relax. If there is one thing I have learned about deployments, it's that rumors fly. Who did he hear from that told him they may not be back til then or is this something they told the whole command? Like you said it's not even a definite thing. In the mean time, until you get news next month, ensure that you have something worked out with your vendors. Perhaps they will be sympathetic to your situation. IMO if they aren't that's pretty sad because they're getting your money regardless. I know it may seem overwhelming for you right now but, don't panic. That won't solve anything. Stay here on the board. These ladies are a great support and, although they cant replace the kind of support you get from your FI, being part of a community of people who can relate and give, IMO, great advice is very helpful.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I agree with Sammy. Talk to your vendors about putting a military clause in your contracts.
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  • lauram415lauram415 member
    10 Comments
    Sammy, you're right. I need to calm down lol. It's just that my fiance and I just had this long conversation about it and he doesnt sound very confident about coming home on time. I think he is hearing this from his commander there and from people who are already deployed out there. Most of them have gotten extended past their 6 months because they don't have enough manning. I suppose tomorrow I can start contacting all my vendors and explain the situation and just see what they say. Thanks so much, I am feeling better already having people respond.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Just explain that your fiancé is in the military and you were hoping to add a military clause in your contract. Tell them you're not looking for money back, you'd just have to change the date to a date that they have free.
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  • lauram415lauram415 member
    10 Comments
    I will work on that tomorrow and update on here. Hopefully it is still early enough to where I could perhaps get all of them on the same date again. Thanks!
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  • crownsuperstarcrownsuperstar member
    1000 Comments
    Hike and Sammy wise advise as always!  

    Just an FYI and a rule I live by dealing with the military nothing is final until it is actually happening.  My H is deployed right now and his leave dates have been moved more times then I can count.  I will believe he is on leave when I see him walk off the plane. 

    Good luck with planning!
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_deployment-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:c5fc9cdc-91f4-4f8c-9ffd-11baf1885aa9Post:317972f0-a39e-4a82-a354-723ec96db734">Re: Deployment</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just explain that your fiancé is in the military and you were hoping to add a military clause in your contract. Tell them you're not looking for money back, you'd just have to change the date to a date that they have free.
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Exactly this.  Downplay it - don't tell them there's a risk he won't be back on time, just say, "Oh, just in case!  You know how the military is, a few other wives suggested I do it since it would be a shame to lose our deposit because he's serving his country."  A bit of patriotic guilt isn't misplaced here!  And like Hike said, just be like, "We would still want to have the wedding of course, it would just mean a different date.  You'd be willing to transfer our deposit to another available date, right?"

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  • lauram415lauram415 member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_deployment-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:c5fc9cdc-91f4-4f8c-9ffd-11baf1885aa9Post:5391cd99-66d1-4680-93bf-a13bf1c2b431">Re: Deployment</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Deployment : Exactly this.  Downplay it - don't tell them there's a risk he won't be back on time, just say, "Oh, just in case!  You know how the military is, a few other wives suggested I do it since it would be a shame to lose our deposit because he's serving his country."  A bit of patriotic guilt isn't misplaced here!  And like Hike said, just be like, "We would still want to have the wedding of course, it would just mean a different date.  You'd be willing to transfer our deposit to another available date, right?"
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    That was the most perfect thing to say. Thanks, it all seems like it will work out :)
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  • tyleet87tyleet87 member
    500 Comments
    I hope it works out and he returns safely and on time! :)
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  • Anastasia723Anastasia723
    10 Comments
    We had to change our wedding date after having deposits down.  I had mentioned in meeting with the venue that my husband was in the Army, but not too much about the possibility of change.  While my venue was not at all accomodating (another story), they did refund our deposit.  I know that it's probably not what you want, but I would start calling and emailing now, and seeing what your options are.  The sooner you call, the better chance that they'll have another date open.  If all else fails, start asking for your deposit back from some of them that are date specific.  We gave up what we thought was our dream venue for a new venue that became our new dream venue:)

    Everything will work out the way it's supposed to.  I feel like I'm walking on glass with this wedding planning for fear of something happening, but try to enjoy it.  Take a deep breath:)
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  • lauram415lauram415 member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_deployment-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:c5fc9cdc-91f4-4f8c-9ffd-11baf1885aa9Post:1c3726da-804f-41dc-b01c-019e722c08ae">Re: Deployment</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had to change our wedding date after having deposits down.  I had mentioned in meeting with the venue that my husband was in the Army, but not too much about the possibility of change.  While my venue was not at all accomodating (another story), they did refund our deposit.  I know that it's probably not what you want, but I would start calling and emailing now, and seeing what your options are.  The sooner you call, the better chance that they'll have another date open.  If all else fails, start asking for your deposit back from some of them that are date specific.  We gave up what we thought was our dream venue for a new venue that became our new dream venue:) Everything will work out the way it's supposed to.  I feel like I'm walking on glass with this wedding planning for fear of something happening, but try to enjoy it.  Take a deep breath:)
    Posted by Anastasia723[/QUOTE]


    Good to know I'm not the only one :) Thankfully, I was able to work things out with my vendors until we decide on the date again. Hopefully I will know his schedule soon.

    I agree with you on how everything will happen the way it's supposed to. And if at the end of the day, I am married to my best friend, then everything went perfect.
    Thanks for your words! :)
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