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Not Engaged Yet
Elle1036
member
S/O: Gifts from HIS exes.
Elle1036
member
Danie's jewelry thread had me thinking about this:
FI has tons of (well, several) gift-relics of past relationships. A gym bag, several books, a couple DVDs, etc. It doesn't bother me at all that he still has and uses that stuff.
For those of you who said they don't wear still wear jewelry given to them by previous SOs, is jewelry different because of it's typically romantic implications? Or do you just not want to constantly remind your SO that somebody else was there first? Does he have any ex-girlfriend gifts he still uses?
FI has tons of (well, several) gift-relics of past relationships. A gym bag, several books, a couple DVDs, etc. It doesn't bother me at all that he still has and uses that stuff.
For those of you who said they don't wear still wear jewelry given to them by previous SOs, is jewelry different because of it's typically romantic implications? Or do you just not want to constantly remind your SO that somebody else was there first? Does he have any ex-girlfriend gifts he still uses?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: S/O: Gifts from HIS exes.
BUT if he did- it would probably depend on what it was and how he felt about it. Like, if it was a DVD I wouldn't care unless he had to watch it every week or something like that (because it was from an ex, not just because he was obsessed with the movie).
I actually do still have stuff from my exes, but only because I don't know what to do with it. There's nothing valuable, it's all cheap. But it's just in a box in my closet.
Basically, I think it all comes down to the giver and recipient's sentiments.
We were actually just having this discussion the other day because I'm getting ready to sell my house. I have a pool table that my ex's parents gave us as a house warming gift. He didn't have room for it, so I ended up keeping it. I asked FI if we should keep it for our new house, knowing the story behind it. His response? "HECK YEAH! It's a pool table!!! I don't care who gave it to you! What guy doesn't want a pool table for his man cave?!"
He has one ink pen that an ex gave him that cost like $300. He still uses it because it writes nice, and I'm not going to buy a pen if he already has one.
I just got finished throwing out a lot of stuff that I got from exes... Most of the stuff had been in boxes in the attic and a storage closet in the living room.... The only things I can't seem to part with are the bracelet & rings that my ex bought me even thought I don't wear them... I guess there is something about wearing jewelry that an ex bought that doesnt feel right.
[QUOTE]I don't care if he keeps stuff from his exes, as long as it doesn't say "I love you! From So and So" and I have to see it all the time. I actually still wear the engagement ring my ex-fiance gave me (we were high school sweethearts who grew up) we ended on good terms and when I tried to give it back, he said I should keep it. AND I picked it out myself, so why shouldn't I? I just wear it on my right hand and I tell my bfs about it if they ask. None have ever had a problem. Although when my current bf made some comment about it, I told him I'd wear this one until I got a new one. :P
Posted by thejinx[/QUOTE]
Hmmm... I find this a little strange. I don't blame you for keeping it as a memento, especially since, as you say, the relationship ended on good terms. Wearing it on a regular basis, though? Right hand or not, I find that a little strange.
I don't think he really has anything else she gave him. She was a taker, not a giver.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: Gifts from HIS exes. : Hmmm... I find this a little strange. I don't blame you for keeping it as a memento, especially since, as you say, the relationship ended on good terms. Wearing it on a regular basis, though? Right hand or not, I find that a little strange.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
I have to agree. I was engaged, and I didn't want to ever see the ring again, because of what it meant. But, Emily wore her original engagement ring on The Bachelor, so to each their own :)
I don't have anything given to me from past exes. I threw it all away.
[QUOTE]Well, <strong>we had a really great relationship</strong> and he was with me when my dad died. He's a wonderful person and I'm glad that he is doing well. So I don't have any negative ties to it and it does remind me that great love exists, it's just that we changed and that happens and we accepted it. I know it's a rare situation to be in so I wouldn't expect many people to understand how I feel about it. At the same time I would feel guilty selling it off..
Posted by thejinx[/QUOTE]
That is where we differ :) My relationship didn't end well. That is great that you were able to break things off and each move on and remain friends. I think most people couldn't do that, I commend you for that! :)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: Gifts from HIS exes. : I have to agree. I was engaged, and I didn't want to ever see the ring again, because of what it meant. But, <strong>Emily wore her original engagement ring on The Bachelor</strong>, so to each their own :)
Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]
<div>This is not the same because it was the same guy and that was technically the first time she was able to wear her e-ring since taping ended to keep the finale a secret, she never gave the ring back.</div><div>
</div><div>If FI and I were to break up I would give the ring back, because he paid for it, plus what will I do with it, keeping it would be weird. If I was a guy I would have a hard time dating a girl who wore her e-ring an ex gave her, but that's just me, whatever floats your boat. </div>
FI has a trunk FULL of junk in our spare bedroom closet. Like 98% of it is paperwork from his undergrad and some stuff from high school, but I do know there is a pair of VS panties in there that aren't mine, haha. It's actually kind of hilarious. When we first started dating, I saw the trunk in his closet and asked him what was in it (it's HUGE, green, and very old looking), and he told me I could look if I wanted. I opened it and saw a Disneyland bag (I ALWAYS notice Disney stuff first), however, the first thing he noticed were the panties. I didn't even see them. So next thing I know he's jumping over me to slam it shut. By now I'm REALLY curious about what he's hiding, and he sheepishly opens it and shows me and is REALLY embarrassed. I laughed so hard at him that night for thinking I would care (especially that early on in our relationship). I'm pretty sure it's still in there, but that's only because when we moved, he just grabbed the trunk and never went through it. Honestly, I'd rather him get rid of the whole trunk than just the panties. Panties don't take up a three foot high section of the closet.
Is it bad that I have no idea what gifts of FI's exes are laying around the house? We've just never talked about it.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
[QUOTE]<strong>BF doesn't have any exes so he doesn't have any gifts from any girls other than me. I had a couple relationships before BF but none of them were very serious.</strong> Only one ex ever got me a gift and our relationship didn't end on good terms so I got rid of the things he gave me. So neither of us has any gifts from exes that we still hold on to.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]
This. I don't have much from ex's other than pictures, notes, and stuffed animals. I might have some stuffed animals around with all my old childhood stuff, but I don't sleep with them or anything LOL. If he did have anything from any ex's, it would depend on what it actually was for me to know if I would get mad about it.
[QUOTE]My guy has an inexpensive watch his ex got him as a present once. <strong>It's the only non-athletic watch he owns</strong>, so he wears it on almost a daily basis. It's never bothered me at all. But I think the reason it doesn't bother me is because he doesn't associate it in any way, shape, or form with her - it's a watch, and that's all it means to him. He has no emotional attachment to it at all. I don't think he really has anything else she gave him. She was a taker, not a giver.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
*In a singsongy voice* Not for long....
I've never talked to BF about Ex stuff. I actually don't know what he has. I had a split second after I had his watch repaired that I kind of wondered how it was initially purchased.
I have two small boxes, one from each relationship at my Mom's house.
I had a exBF that liked to 'pimp' my car. He bought me the ground lights, two 12' speakers, the box, an after market radio, K&N filter, some kind of fuel chip, blah blah blah. Anyway, I sold the car. Not because he put stuff in it, but because it was rolling over to 100K miles and I was going to lose money if I didn't sell it.
I actually pulled the speakers out first. They were 12' Audobahns. I sold them and the box for almost $300. (To current BF's brother.)
Motolyn's House Remodel Blog Starting anew Nov. 2012.
[QUOTE]This thread has gotten me thinking. Is it bad that I have no idea what gifts of FI's exes are laying around the house? We've just never talked about it.
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]
Same here although I doubt he really has anything at all as I am his first really serious relationship.
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