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Bachorlette Party Help!

GangstaBoo86GangstaBoo86
in Pre-wedding Parties

I am in need of some advice, I am set to get married in May, my bridesmaids and maid of honor are not really with the whole wedding idea, as if not having their dresses yet isn't bad enough, none of them have planned a bridal shower or bachorlette party, saying they can't afford to do anything.  I am not asking for anything big, just something even if its a stay at home party it would make me feel a little important. Any ideas?  Also my fiance is talking about throwing me a party and I didn't know if that would be good or not!!  I guess I picked the wrong people to share my special day!! Please help!

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Re: Bachorlette Party Help!

  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011

    They don't have to throw you any parties.  If they can't afford it, they can't afford it.  You can't ask them to do anything like that.  All they have to do is get the dress and show up at the wedding, and if they don't do that then they aren't in the wedding.  Yeah, it sucks if they can't do something for you of their own accord, but if no one offers a party, then you just don't get to have one.  You still get to be married. Everything else is extra.

    So, is being the bride not enough to make you feel important? 

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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, they can't afford it.  Focus on the other great stuff about getting married.
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  • sister2groomsister2groom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They're not obligated to throw you a party and if they can't afford it, they can't afford it. Their financial situations don't make them worse friends.

    Neither your nor your FI can throw you a shower or bachelorette party (and I'm not even sure how your FI would throw you a bachelorette). You can, however, invite your friends (which I would hope includes your bridesmaids) over for at-home pampering or a dinner party or something, just don't call it a bachelorette.
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  • rknox88rknox88
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You sound very selfish. Your bridesmaids didn't even owe you an explanation for why they couldn't throw you unnecessary parties, yet they gave you one. They can't afford it so back off. It is terribly rude of you to remain upset about it when you really should be sympathetic toward their situation.

    On your wedding day you will be the most important person, along with FI. You will be the center of attention. Be happy with that. You only get one day.

    If you want a get together you can host it yourself. Just don't call it a shower or bachelorette and remember it is on your dime.
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They told you they can't afford it.  That should be your first clue: they can't afford it.

    These parties aren't required of anyone.  They're gifts.  I think you have a right to be disappointed that you aren't getting a shower or bach party, but you don't have the right to demand one or make them feel guilty for not throwing them.

    And neither you nor your FI should throw parties in your honor.

    However, if you would like to put together a girls' day or night out or something, and don't call it a shower or bachelorette party or anything wedding-related, that is just fine.
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