A long engagement...

jshorebride · May 2010

What would be the perfect amount of time you'd want to be engaged, once it happens? I have a really big feeling that an engagement will be right around the corner, thing is I will be going back to school in the Fall, it will only take a year so it won't be that long, but I know that I will at least be waiting that long to realistically plan a wedding. I think my perfect time for my engagement would be 2 years, to really enjoy being engaged, take my time planning and enjoy planning and not rushing through everything, and to eventually settle ourselves into a new place. That would be my ideal, however it may be over two years. My question is, what would be the perfect length of your engagement, do you think 2 years (possibly 2 1/2 years) would be too long?

notquiteblushing · May 2010

I think 2 years is fine. We will be engaged 18 months by the time our wedding rolls around and it has been a good length for us to plan, save, move, etc. If you're still in school I can see waiting even longer. Good luck!

SonaliPop · May 2010

A year, for us. Just enough time to plan the wedding, pack up, and move. I think that'd be perfect.

FutureMrsMcDaniel · May 2010

Some people may fuss and whine about a long engagement, but there's nothing wrong with it! Don't worry!
FI and I will only be engaged for 7 months by the time we get married. I just couldn't wait long - I knew I'd drive myself bonkers with planning and details!

zaneopal · May 2010

I think two years would be okay. I prefer longer engagements, more time for planning. Also, since you're still in school, two years is definitely fine.

jeanacorina · May 2010

I wouldn't be able to have a two-year engagement. I would drive myself crazy with second-guessing things and having to wait and doing some things too early.

FI agreed with me. We'll be engaged 8 months when we get married. It's been the perfect amount of time. Although, I really wish I hadn't been in school while planning. I could have done things a lot faster if not for homework and exams!

It's really a personal decision. If you want a long engagement, go for it!

loopy82 · May 2010

I will have been engaged for just under 10 months when the wedding rolls around. It is definitely more time than I needed. I always thought I would have had a shorter engagement to tell you the truth. I say do whatever works for you and is comfortable for you.

KD+BC · May 2010

We will have been engaged for 10 months when we get married and it seems too long for me. I still have 5+ months and I just want it to be here already! That being said, if I was still in school I'd never be able to do that and plan a wedding. It makes sense for you to wait.

desertsun · May 2010

Frankly, I do think that is too long.

IMO, 12 to 18 months is PLENTY of time to plan everything without feeling overwhelmed, to enjoy being engaged, etc.

I haven't felt rushed at all, and my engagement will last about 8 months.

Trust me, dealing with the same event WILL lose its appeal after a while.

You want to go into your wedding feeling excited at seeing all your efforts come to fruition.

Not relieved b/c you finally won't have to think about it any more.

Just my opinion. You know yourself better than we do.

But you also need to think about your BF and how long he will want to have wedding on the brain.

katanne9 · May 2010

It's different for everyone. Personally, for me, I don't really see the point of getting engaged if you don't want to get married relatively soon. 2 1/2 years is pretty long to me.

We will have been engaged for 8 months. We always talked about being engaged just long enough to plan without going crazy (7-10 months).

Also, the advice I got was: When you're engaged you'll start planning your wedding. Planning will stress you out in one way or another. Therefore, do it as quickly as possible.

Goldlie11 · May 2010

We're having a long engagement of 20 months by the time the wedding rolls around. At first it felt kind of strange. Now, we're basically finished getting the major vendors decided on (photographer, officiant, venue, DOC, and DJ). I don't plan to do much planning after the last contract has been signed. I'll pick up again at the end of this year or early next year with "fresh eyes". I'm just glad that we have so much time to save up money.

hetshup · May 2010

KD- When did you get engaged? It must have been the at the EXACT same time as us!

OP-- I have 10 months, and if I had more time I would be in an asylum. I might still wind up in one, I still have 5 months to go.

jshorebride · May 2010

Goldie- I completely agree. I love the idea of saving money to have all the things I dream of having at my wedding and for my honeymoon, and having that time to realistically do that, considering the school loans, and other bills we have while starting out on our career paths. I'm not implying that we necessarily need to plan everyday of those two years, again, I am going back to school and really not planning on doing too much wedding preparations and planning during that time, although it would nice to be engaged after 3+ years of dating and to just enjoy that time, whether I'm planning or not.

KD+BC · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2148f93d-d0fa-45fb-8c64-0bca03fb74eePost:e742d99d-29d0-4286-bbcd-184e623f5132">Re: A long engagement...</a>:
[QUOTE]KD- When did you get engaged? It must have been the at the EXACT same time as us!
Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. It was after midnight so technically Christmas Day but we hadn't gone to bed yet.

sapphirebaby926 · May 2010

I think anything more than 2 years is too long honestly but there is nothing wrong with having a long engagement - you have to do what is right for you and your BF. If having a long engagement is what you feel you need to save the money or enjoy your engagement then that's what you should do. I would have liked to have closer to a year to plan but due to the circumstances we only had 5 months and were still able to get everything that we wanted and had a wonderful wedding.

PaigeMcC · May 2010

I don't think there's anything wrong with a long engagement. My BFF will be engaged almost 3 years by the time she gets married. I personally would go nutty if I had that much time (BF and I discussed 8-10 months) but if that's what works for you and your BF/FI then that's all that matters

larina+jeremy · May 2010

I am having a long-ish engagement as well and so far I am loving being engaged so much, that Im kind of glad to take the time to enjoy it. there is no stress in planning cause i have so much time. plus, I just feel sexier as an engaged woman for some reason lol - it has brought me and fl that much closer. so im loving the long engagement so far - what an awesome time in your life!

dwest2201 · May 2010

I used to think that a year was needed AT LEAST... then I got engaged and loosely planned a 14 month engagement. My mom was ill so was ex's grandfather so we deicded a month and a half later to move it up and ended up being engaged for 6 months and planning the wedding in 4... woah! It worked fine (the planning, not the marriage obviously!) Oh and Ion that note: I HIGHLY recommend pre-marital counseling, he refused and I should have walked... he also refused marital counseling later when he was abusive towards me... I finally walked then!

This time around BF and I have discussed a 6-9 month engagement and he keeps talking about getting married next Spring... tick, tock... haha!

mg1363 · May 2010

For me a year...give or take a few months would be ideal but this is a personal decision. I think it's great you want to allow yourself the time to plan and deal with school. If you're the kind of person that can wait that long after the engagement to get married then I say GO FOR IT!!!

Plus you know that the date you want will be available at whatever venue you want and you'll have more time to stock up on wedding supplies at great deals. For example: Your wedding color is pink. Stock up on pink decorations the day after V-day. You'd like a Fall wedding? Get those Fall decor sales!

shannie11 · May 2010

I think two years is fine! No one wants to go in debt over a wedding! If you can be engaged longer and not have to put anything on a credit card then do it! This is what i plan on doing. I don't care if I have to plan 2.5 years. You know you will be togetherforever anyways. At least then you will get what you want and then start saving for a DP on a home and NOT be in the hole!

A long engagement...

Re: A long engagement...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards