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Wedding Etiquette Forum
"And Guest"? Really?
Ok - question for the ettiquitte board (and maybe the invite board?)
When do you use "and guest" and when is it inappropriate?
We got a wedding invite today, for one of FI's friend's weddings. We've known about the wedding since before the engagement - and myself and FI even gave his friend (the future groom) some pointers on picking out the ring.
Today, we got an invite addressed to "Fiance and Guest"
Really?!
Please tell me I have a right to be offended.
More background (just for fun):
- They got engaged in May (getting married in Oct, before his deployment); we've been engaged since December.
- I've met both of them.
- Future Groom has seen my ring and compared it to what he was thinking about buying (meaning he *definitely* knows we're engaged).
- We sent them a STD in May (before their invites went out, obviously) addressed to both of them.
When do you use "and guest" and when is it inappropriate?
We got a wedding invite today, for one of FI's friend's weddings. We've known about the wedding since before the engagement - and myself and FI even gave his friend (the future groom) some pointers on picking out the ring.
Today, we got an invite addressed to "Fiance and Guest"
Really?!
Please tell me I have a right to be offended.
More background (just for fun):
- They got engaged in May (getting married in Oct, before his deployment); we've been engaged since December.
- I've met both of them.
- Future Groom has seen my ring and compared it to what he was thinking about buying (meaning he *definitely* knows we're engaged).
- We sent them a STD in May (before their invites went out, obviously) addressed to both of them.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: "And Guest"? Really?
Everyone else here is going to tell you to get over it. :P
10-10-10 here we come!
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Maybe I stalk The Knot more than most future brides?
I went out of my way to double check last names, significant others names, and the spelling of said names...and that was just for STDs.
Especially with everyone and their mother being on FaceBook - all that information is *right there*
2011-2012 Races
10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
Me:32 DH:33
IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
[QUOTE]I know I need to get over it - but I just read the invite and thought "really?!" Maybe I stalk The Knot more than most future brides? <strong>I went out of my way to double check last names, significant others names, and the spelling of said names...and that was just for STDs. </strong> Especially with everyone and their mother being on FaceBook - all that information is *right there*
Posted by amandajean36[/QUOTE]
I was the same way. But unfortunately, not everyone else is as detailed. I agree. I'd be annoyed, too. But there's not a lot you can do about it now.
Be sure to write your name clearly on the response card, so you don't end up with a placecard that says "FI's Guest." :)
Married!
Fred Rogers
[QUOTE]on a question to add to that. So I have several friends in serious realtionships that are not married. Can I address the outer envelope to "and guest" and put Mary and Joe on the inner envelope?
Posted by aggiebug[/QUOTE]
Assuming from your question that the couple doesn't live together, it should technically be addressed as:
Outer Evenlope
mr Joe Smith
XXX
City state
Inner envelope
Mr Joe Smith
Ms Mary Jones
Edited to remove brain fart.
[QUOTE]I went out of my way to double check last names, significant others names, and the spelling of said names...and that was just for STDs. Especially with everyone and their mother being on FaceBook - all that information is *right there*
Posted by amandajean36[/QUOTE]
<div>This!</div><div>
</div><div>It's just the right thing to do, research guests and their SOs names, correct spelling, and correct addresses. If I have a question I ask. True, you won't jump off of a bridge as a result, but I would also be offended.</div>
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Mr Jones and guest on the outer
and
Mary and Joe on the inner.
and wasn't 100% sure which was more correct.
Fred Rogers
My mom told me I should address his invite to our wedding as Cousin and Guest even though they will be married for about 8 months by our wedding... Haha that would be funny but I would never actually do that!
The bride asked me about my planning, dress and other details all the time. Then asked me for my address, and had the balls to exclude not only my fiance, but my guest option all together.
It MAY have something to do with the fact that the groom in this wedding is best friends with my ex-boyfriend that I dated for six years, and I left him for my now fiance. So it WOULD be awkward if we attended the wedding.
I know why they wouldn't want him to come - so then why invite me? And by myself?
People just suck.
As for names on the invites, it depends on the type of invitations you have too. Inner envelopes are becoming less common now. We had pocket style invites with no inner envelopes. Anyone in a serious relationship, whether they lived together or not, had both names written on the envelope. If they didn't live together we mailed it to twhichever person in the couple was the friend of ours. And the few single people we invited we addressed it to "John Smith & Guest."
Never.
People have names, even the unengaged ones, and the invitation envelope(s) should use the NAMES.
[QUOTE]"AND GUEST" is never used. Never. People have names, even the unengaged ones, and the invitation envelope(s) should use the NAMES.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
What about when you're inviting a single friend and giving them the option to bring a guest of their choosing?
Kristin, welcome to 2010. Please keep up.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "And Guest"? Really? : What about when you're inviting a single friend and giving them the option to bring a guest of their choosing? Kristin, welcome to 2010. Please keep up.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]
Ditto this exactly. We made sure to get the names of anyone who was dating someone when the invites went out, but we had about 10 or so friends who were completely single who we gave a guest too. It's impossible to ask someone 2 months before the wedding "who are you going to bring to our wedding so that we can put their name on the invite?" when they don't even know at the time that the are alowed to bring a guest? Yes, if people are in a serious relationship you should write their names on the envelope, but if you are just allowing someone a guest, then its just & guest.
[QUOTE]"AND GUEST" is never used. Never. People have names, even the unengaged ones, and the invitation envelope(s) should use the NAMES.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
No that's not correct at all. A lot of people are single and not seeing anyone, yet you may want to extend them a guest so they can bring a friend or flavor of the week. In that case AND GUEST is used.
I try not to get offended by people's stupidity so I just laughed it off and threw it in the trash. Definitely made me feel better.
Who knows. If she's always been pleasant to you in person, just shrug it off and don't worry about it.