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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Not invited to rehearsal dinner

Okay, I just got married on June 20, 2009. I had my rehearsal lunch the day before and had invited everyone involved in the wedding, their husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends and even 1 guy who decided to come uninvited as well as a few others. We offered everyone involved in the wedding and other friends of ours that are in college free housing and meals for the week prior to the wedding. And we were on an extremely tight budget (wedding was only 7k and that was over budget). Our best man is getting married July 25 and is having a very large, extravegant wedding (30k). He and his fiance told my husband (his best man) that I am not allowed at the rehearsal dinner. I am very hurt by this. I have researched it and found that it is proper to invite those involved and their spouses. I never found anything saying otherwise. Am I wrong for feeling upset, let down and a little enraged? My husband is going to talk to our best man (the groom) this weekend...but I also don't want to get a pity invite now. We never got an invitation in the mail either. It was returned and never re-mailed so, honestly we don't even know the time of the wedding -- and my husband is the best man!! *** Edit ***I am friends with both the bride & the groom. Also, My husband called the groom to ask if i could come and had to leave a voicemail. The groom decided to e-mail back rather than call and just say 'no'.

Re: Not invited to rehearsal dinner

  • As of this past Saturday (7/18) my husband told the groom that he wasn't going to attend the dinner because he didn't feel it was right that the wife of the officiant was invited but not his wife. The groom said, well all the other wives aren't invited either, just the officiants. And my husband told him that's fine, but I won't be attending because I don't feel that that is right. So, the groom talked to the bride and called my husband back and told him, fine she (me) can come. I am still so frustrated by this...gah.
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