Question....Really long sorry.

MsAmeera25 · November 2012

Hey ladies!

I wanted to get your opinion on something. So my BFF and MOH in my wedding was recently engaged and set her date for 4/20/13 b/c it's her and FI's dating anniversary...ok cool no problem. She asked me to be MOH and she is only having 1 BM her sister who is 18 y/o. Well initially when she told me the date I was kind of annoyed because my baby is due 4/2/13 and who knows what shape i'll be in to travel to Florida with a newborn of 2 weeks. And i'm pretty sure i wouldn't leave my baby in GA for the weekend. So I didn't say anything about the date because it's her day and I told her that I would be there and my in laws and mom live in Fl where the wedding will be to watch the baby for a few hours while i'm with her. Well now that the venue is booked and date is set etc I feel kind of bad because she is my best friend of 24 years and I really want to throw her a bridal shower however I can't travel after Jan.

My family is throwing me a baby shower in Jan on a Saturday in Florida so i was thinking since i'm already going to be there I can plan her bridal shower for the day after Sunday and kind of surprise her since she'll be coming from Orlando to Ft Lauderdale to my baby shower. But I don't want her to feel like an after thought.

So my question is if I planned something like this for you as a bride would you be annoyed that the entire weekend wasn't about you? Or that it was after my baby shower??

My options are to (1) Plan it for the day after my baby shower. (2) Plan it long distance for another time and not attend. or do it the weekend of the wedding after the baby is here.

Thanks ladies for reading this book lol

footballwife77 · November 2012

This could totally depend on her personality. I think its very thoughtful of you. and planning one after your shower while you're there would be awesome! but how far along will you be ( i don't feel like doing math lol). You might be completely WIPED OUT with the shower, flight, etc...

footballwife77 · November 2012

okay, so for some reason I was still typing and this posted. weird. I would say make time the day after your shower to do "wedding things" with her. but do the shower after baby the weekend of wedding. I know the baby will be brand new, and you'll feel like you're going to miss out on something, but enjoy the "adult" time.

MrsBad13 · November 2012

If I was her and knowing that your preggers and that you wont be able to attend/fly as you get closer to having the baby...and you surprised me with a bridal shower the same weekend your having a baby shower and the weekend is supposed to be about you I would be so apprecative and say see thats why she's my friend. I would be so excited of the story we could tell about how we had showers for 2 wonderful things that are happening in our lives !

M1ssJ · November 2012

Honestly I would be annoyed. Since it is you and her 18 year old sister , everything is going to fall on you. I wuld plan it for the day after and let her be completely surprised.

rowenac82 · November 2012

I see no reason why you can't do what you have planned. I don't think you will want to add this on top of everything else, i.e. baby is here and her wedding weekend. I would hope she would be surprised and appreciative.

MrsSmith2Be02 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:2c77db7b-a1b7-4767-9880-f0a2d4177c72">Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey ladies! I wanted to get your opinion on something. So my BFF and MOH in my wedding was recently engaged and set her date for 4/20/13 b/c it's her and FI's dating anniversary...ok cool no problem. She asked me to be MOH and she is only having 1 BM her sister who is 18 y/o. Well initially when she told me the date I was kind of annoyed because my baby is due 4/2/13 and who knows what shape i'll be in to travel to Florida with a newborn of 2 weeks. And i'm pretty sure i wouldn't leave my baby in GA for the weekend. So I didn't say anything about the date because it's her day and I told her that I would be there and my in laws and mom live in Fl where the wedding will be to watch the baby for a few hours while i'm with her. Well now that the venue is booked and date is set etc I feel kind of bad because she is my best friend of 24 years and I really want to throw her a bridal shower however I can't travel after Jan. My family is throwing me a baby shower in Jan on a Saturday in Florida so i was thinking since i'm already going to be there I can plan her bridal shower for the day after Sunday and kind of surprise her since she'll be coming from Orlando to Ft Lauderdale to my baby shower. But I don't want her to feel like an after thought. So my question is if I planned something like this for you as a bride would you be annoyed that the entire weekend wasn't about you? Or that it was after my baby shower?? My options are to (1) Plan it for the day after my baby shower. (2) Plan it long distance for another time and not attend. or do it the weekend of the wedding after the baby is here. Thanks ladies for reading this book lol
Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]

Given the circumstances, I wouldn't feel like an afterthought and wouldn't care that an entire weekend isn't all about me. H3ll, if she does, then that's pretty darn selfish and bratty.....but I don't think you'll have that problem. It would totally sucked if you planned LD and you weren't there. NO WAY to do the weekend of the wedding. Too much to do and as a recently married bride.....I would just be like WTH....there is no time! (Unless its a small wedding, then maybe). I think she would be totally stoked that you even thought of her while you are preparing for baby boy and would be really appreciative. Especially, when there are only 2 of you in the BP.

footballwife77 · November 2012

Posted by MrsSmith2Be02[/QUOTE]

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU DOING MRS SMITH! i need more UPLIGHTING PICS now. i'm living my dream through you hahahahaa.

MsAmeera25 · November 2012

Thanks ladies, I feel better now..i'll be 8 months by then so I probably will be tired but i'll do it I love parties I was just worried because she planned a bridal weekend for me for my shower so I didn't want to "slight" her but I don't want to miss it alogether either so I think i'll do it the Sunday after since i'll be in town till Tuesday.

leatba · November 2012

I would be appreciative that you took some of your YOU time and spent it on Me.

MissusD1116 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:90f074cc-92b0-4219-bd5e-c38831825113">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Question....Really long sorry. : Given the circumstances, I wouldn't feel like an afterthought and wouldn't care that an entire weekend isn't all about me. H3ll, if she does, then that's pretty darn selfish and bratty.....but I don't think you'll have that problem. It would totally sucked if you planned LD and you weren't there. NO WAY to do the weekend of the wedding. Too much to do and as a recently married bride.....I would just be like WTH....there is no time! (Unless its a small wedding, then maybe). I think she would be totally stoked that you even thought of her while you are preparing for baby boy and would be really appreciative. Especially, when there are only 2 of you in the BP.
Posted by MrsSmith2Be02[/QUOTE]

Totally agree!

Oh and Hayyyy babymama! How is everything? Baby giving you the blues yet? LOL!

CaseynMike · November 2012

Hey hun...from one mama to another mama just be careful. I know that you want to be there for her day but just take it day by day after the baby gets here to determine whether or not it is safe to travel a good distance just after having given birth 2 weeks before. Would you all drive? If so that could potentially be an uncomfy drive for your body. Your body goes through a toll after having a baby and I am not sure if you are breastfeeding or not but that is going to be a worry...because during those early weeks its imperative that you nurse as much as possible instead of pumping ( I breastfed both of my children for a year each and I work with WIC teaching African American women how to breastfeed) I know I sound like the bearer of bad news but 2 weeks after having a baby is really soon to be traveling...in my opinion.

I know that you think it would be easy to travel with the baby by time he is two weeks but I am just asking you to consider your body and your health first before trying to accomodate everyone else. He won't have his shots by then and you could pose a risk to him by going to the wedding and being around other people and other ailments. I just want you to consider all that you can before really making the choice to be there for her wedding...although you would be gone from the baby for a couple of hours that could be more than your body could handle at that time and it wouldn't be worth it to risk being exposed to something in the air and bring it back to baby boy.

If at all possible I would do the shower on that Sunday as a surprise. Good luck!

nursing2u · November 2012

I agree with a lot of what Case says.... That is the nurse in me talking... and also the mommy in me as well.

adding to that... nobody in the world can predict exactly when you will deliver.. and praying all goes well.... You want to make sure you have time to recuperate.

I think that your friend will completely understand and would be TOTALLY SURPRISED that you have her shower that same weekend... she gets to be there for you and you for her..

Just take it easy... and take care of you and your bundle of JOY!!!

MsAmeera25 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:26b024a6-35ac-48b8-9991-735df7b50db7">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey hun...from one mama to another mama just be careful. I know that you want to be there for her day but just take it day by day after the baby gets here to determine whether or not it is safe to travel a good distance just after having given birth 2 weeks before. Would you all drive? If so that could potentially be an uncomfy drive for your body. Your body goes through a toll after having a baby and I am not sure if you are breastfeeding or not but that is going to be a worry...because during those early weeks its imperative that you nurse as much as possible instead of pumping ( I breastfed both of my children for a year each and I work with WIC teaching African American women how to breastfeed) I know I sound like the bearer of bad news but 2 weeks after having a baby is really soon to be traveling...in my opinion. I know that you think it would be easy to travel with the baby by time he is two weeks but I am just asking you to consider your body and your health first before trying to accomodate everyone else. He won't have his shots by then and you could pose a risk to him by going to the wedding and being around other people and other ailments. I just want you to consider all that you can before really making the choice to be there for her wedding...although you would be gone from the baby for a couple of hours that could be more than your body could handle at that time and it wouldn't be worth it to risk being exposed to something in the air and bring it back to baby boy. If at all possible I would do the shower on that Sunday as a surprise. Good luck!
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My mom told me this today I'm going to play it by ear, she knows my main priority is the baby but I didn't want to say no right away you know.....but as a first time mom i'm not too sure how i'lll be feeling etc so we'll see. I'm going to ask my Dr as well and see what he says.

</div>

MsAmeera25 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:7596888b-bf51-43ae-a22f-daac86c8603b">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with a lot of what Case says.... That is the nurse in me talking... and also the mommy in me as well. adding to that... nobody in the world can predict exactly when you will deliver.. and praying all goes well.... You want to make sure you have time to recuperate. I think that your friend will completely understand and would be TOTALLY SURPRISED that you have her shower that same weekend... she gets to be there for you and you for her.. Just take it easy... and take care of you and your bundle of JOY!!!
Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm having a schd C/S....does that change anything?? My mom said that's probabaly worst lol.</div>

MsAmeera25 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:8add24ed-3b61-4ba9-83a5-996ccb99b118">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question....Really long sorry. : Totally agree! Oh and Hayyyy babymama! How is everything? Baby giving you the blues yet? LOL!
Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]

<div>Hey babymomma he's doing great...no blues except he doesn't like red meat....but little does he know I plan on eating ham and all types of stuff for Thanksgiving and he better get over it lol</div>

nursing2u · November 2012

I will tell u now... if our having a c section.... I think u. ABSOLUTELY not going to feel like squeezing into a dress.. and that's a long drive right after that.... I really think you're not going to be up to that.. Sorry..

CaseynMike · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:959a5d25-ef31-4128-bfd8-5c6783b294fe">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question....Really long sorry. : I'm having a schd C/S....does that change anything?? My mom said that's probabaly worst lol.
Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]

<div>Um so you know after the C/S you gon have stitches right. I am not sure if you would really want to travel after having a C/S because you wont even be able to hold anything heavier than your baby....just a heads up...Please talk to your doctor and take care of PRINCESS and your bundle of joy</div>

MsAmeera25 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:548243ee-5b29-4835-9e6f-59158ebf2162">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question....Really long sorry. : Um so you know after the C/S you gon have stitches right. I am not sure if you would really want to travel after having a C/S because you wont even be able to hold anything heavier than your baby....just a heads up...Please talk to your doctor and take care of PRINCESS and your bundle of joy
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes maam....well i'm committing to the bridal shower for now. lol</div>

nursing2u · November 2012

Bridal shower..Definitely.... I do think it will be perfect for your baby shower weekend.

MrsSmith2Be02 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionreally-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:3020d426-a04c-4737-a34d-84597df3e658Post:26b024a6-35ac-48b8-9991-735df7b50db7">Re: Question....Really long sorry.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey hun...from one mama to another mama just be careful. I know that you want to be there for her day but just take it day by day after the baby gets here to determine whether or not it is safe to travel a good distance just after having given birth 2 weeks before. Would you all drive? If so that could potentially be an uncomfy drive for your body. Your body goes through a toll after having a baby and I am not sure if you are breastfeeding or not but that is going to be a worry...because during those early weeks its imperative that you nurse as much as possible instead of pumping ( I breastfed both of my children for a year each and I work with WIC teaching African American women how to breastfeed) I know I sound like the bearer of bad news but 2 weeks after having a baby is really soon to be traveling...in my opinion. I know that you think it would be easy to travel with the baby by time he is two weeks but I am just asking you to consider your body and your health first before trying to accomodate everyone else. He won't have his shots by then and you could pose a risk to him by going to the wedding and being around other people and other ailments. I just want you to consider all that you can before really making the choice to be there for her wedding...although you would be gone from the baby for a couple of hours that could be more than your body could handle at that time and it wouldn't be worth it to risk being exposed to something in the air and bring it back to baby boy. If at all possible I would do the shower on that Sunday as a surprise. Good luck!
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with this. I know nobody thinks of having a c-section, but playing Devils Advocate, what if you 1 are late and then 2 have to have a cesearan. You won't be up to moving ANYWHERE because you will barely be able to walk....and definately won't have on heels. Just a thought.

MrsSmith2Be02 · November 2012

Wait I just saw the posts about the scheduled c/s. GIRL yes Shower sunday after your baby shower. If your dr is anything like my OB they will give u the side eye for trying to leave outside of your house before 6 weeks. Major risk for infection and c/s is MAJOR surgery....I've had 2. No fun for recovery. Was the schedule c/s a choice or medical reason? I didn't know any dr would allow sch c/s if you haven't had one before....that's a first. I wouldn't elect to do it unless it was medically necessary (unless you've had one before which is how I had my 2nd). My first was emergency though.

Question....Really long sorry.

Re: Question....Really long sorry.

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