breakdown

Re: breakdown

• tropical.dreams member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I can see why you're stressed...but you have to BREATHE. At this point, there's nothing you can do to change what's happened, and you don't want to stress out at this important time in your life.
  
  I understand that you don't want to "lie", but to me, if I were in the situation, I would feel like the day I stood up in front of my friends and family and pledged myself to FI was the day that we got married...not the day that the paperwork is finalized. Have the wedding of your dreams, and then when the legal paperwork is done, just sign it and forget about it. Besides, it takes days for the marriage certificates to be formalized anyway, and they just backdate it all...this isn't a lot different.
  
  BREATHE, girl...you're marrying the man of your dreams! It can't get much better than that, and these are just small details.

  They didn't have you where I come from...never knew the best was yet to come...

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• debnchris member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  thank you so much TD that truely does make me feel a bet better!

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• MikesAngie member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Deb, breathe!!  It will all work out, you mediator should go to the court and explain that due to her error your paperwork should be expidetited. 
  
  Keep your date, get married, sign the marriage license after the divorce is final, and be happy!  Your FI sounds like your prince and if he's not going to let paperwork ruin his day neither should you.
  

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• Tamiam30

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  My grandma's divorce announcement and 2nd marriage license application were in the same newspaper's "Vital Statistics" on the same day because her first husband had dragged it out to make her miserable. She was horrified (she is like Miss Manners or whatever), but plowed ahead anyway and she and my grandpa were very happily married for 35 years before he passed away. Move forward happily full speed ahead...this is a speed bump! Nobody needs to know the details of what's happened datewise behind the scenes.

  

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• debnchris member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  you girls are wonderful! thanks so much for your kind words  they are very much appreciated!

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• handfast4me member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm with your fi--if everything is all set up, just have the party and honeymoon.  But truthfully, you can't legally get married to him before your first marriage is disolved.  That's called bigamy.  If you have to, as stated before, do the party and all, but just have the ceremony AFTER your divorce becomes final.
  
  Either way, at the end of the day, you end up with a great guy by your side.  :-) 

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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• right1thistime member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  And don't lie to anyone about it, please.  No need to be ashamed, hold your head high and let it be.
  
  And threaten the daylights out of that mediator to make it right, so that you CAN get married.  Call the local bar association and ask about recourse- that ought to light a flippin' fire under his dragging fanny!  ~Donna

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• debnchris member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I do realize I can't get married while I'm legally married to someone else -- I do plan on having a ceremony either way and if things are not finalized by the big day it will be a commitment ceremony. I'm spoken with the person who will perform the ceremony. 
  I do plan on reporting her to the Barr assoc this is just the tip of the iceburg  there is so much more to the story but I'm only allowed so many letters in this little block!
  Have a great night girls!

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• Lisa50 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_breakdown?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:57b9ef33-89e4-466f-a722-ec5689410945Post:deeb7ab7-172f-4e13-b3f0-735722e8f603">Re: breakdown</a>:
  [QUOTE]My grandma's divorce announcement and 2nd marriage license application were in the same newspaper's "Vital Statistics" on the same day because her first husband had dragged it out to make her miserable. She was horrified (she is like Miss Manners or whatever), but plowed ahead anyway and she and my grandpa were very happily married for 35 years before he passed away. <strong><font color="#0000ff">Move forward happily full speed ahead...this is a speed bump!</font></strong> Nobody needs to know the details of what's happened datewise behind the scenes.
  Posted by Tamiam30[/QUOTE]
  
  Agreed!  Keep moving toward happiness!  Your FI sounds great; he's definitely a keeper.  And, yeah ... breathe and relax.

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• thealphabride

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  A commitment ceremony sounds lovely.  BEST WISHES!
  
  Don't let your former husband ruin it for you, full steam ahead!!!

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• Lisa50 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Any update??

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• debnchris member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  UPDATE******
  
  All paperwork is in and shows on the docket! Fingers crossed that I will have imy decree in hand in time !!!
  
  I still have a plan B tho -- I cant guarantee this clown lawyer had all ts crossed and i's dotted!!!

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