In need of a little help... a little long.

MM5678 · March 2012

SO I am looking for some assistance on being a Bridesmaid. I am getting married this July and one of my Bridesmaids is getting married in early December. I am in her wedding as well.For a handful of reasons she has done little with her personal wedding planning. I am very much a planner and an organizer and hate that we are 9 months away from her wedding and I have no idea what’s going on. Just recently she has started to pull a handful of things together and talk about ideas but still nothing concrete. My finance and I(long before being asked to be a Bridesmaid) had decided upon doing mini-moons rather than a long honey moon to follow our wedding. Also, as we have never done what one might call a big gift exchange, we decided to spurge on each other at this time.

With my friend starting to talk a bit more about her wedding, I am starting to get concerned with finances. I have never been a Bridesmaid before, so I have no prior experience with the general costs. Can anyone relay what they have contributed to the average Shower and Bachelorette party?

I realize it is important to stay within your means regardless of what the norm is, but I have no idea what to expect. Additionally, having no idea what to expect and knowing her decisions are going to come at the 13^th hour, I starting to get concerned it will affect decisions we have made regarding our own wedding plans from a financial stand point.

Any suggestions, guidance recommendations would be greatly appreciated!!

penny12986 · March 2012

Welcome!

Has the bride consulted any of the bridesmaids about dresses and budgets? I would anticipate aroun $150 for that.

For the parties, has she indicated what she would like or how many people would be involved? We recently had a discussion about bridal showers on this board and I thought 30 people was an average guest list but some people are having as many as 80 people come to their shower. These are things that you would need to have mapped out before you can begin. You should also make sure not to commit to something that you are not comfortable with. If you and the other bridesmaids can only afford a backyard or park shower with some hors d'oevres, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

A bachelorette party could be a nice dinner and some dancing afterwards which should be like, $40/person I would guess.

You are making a really wise choice to get all of these things outlined before you jump into something you aren't able to do.

MeaganR12 · March 2012

I know it's probably frustrating waiting for someone to tell you their plans when you're an early planner yourself, but honestly, 9 months is quite a ways away!

As far as what to expect financially, she should ask you how much you can afford for a bridesmaid's dress. If she doesn't, it's perfectly acceptable to tell her. I know most BMs dresses cost between $125-$300, then you have to plan for alterations if you'll need them, and specific shoes if she wants them. But again, TELL HER how much you can afford, if she's your friend she'll find something in your budget.

When it comes to showers and bachelorette parties, this is really hard to guess without knowing your friend. I think you would know better than any of us if she would want dinner and drinks in town; or vegas for the weekend. Those two parties have very different price tags. But that's really something you and her bridesmaids decide. I would say $50-$100 p/p is normal for a shower, plus the price of a gift.

The only other major cost I can think of is if she's planning on having a destination wedding which would most likely be a huge expense for you but again, I don't know your friend, I don't know how likely that is.

In need of a little help... a little long.

Re: In need of a little help... a little long.

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